Part 12 (2/2)

Katherine, Randy and Janet denied that the incident ever happened. They claimed in their answer to the suit that Gina would never have been injured if she had exercised 'ordinary care on her behalf', which seemed... odd.

In the end, Gina and Joseph negotiated an out-of-court settlement, the details of which she is not at liberty to disclose. 'I felt sorry for them,' she concludes. 'I loved that family. I know that I was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back, but like I told Katherine in court, next time, kick his his a.s.s. Not mine.' a.s.s. Not mine.'

Jane Fonda.

At this time, the autumn of 1980, Michael supervised a music video of the Jacksons' song 'Can You Feel It?'. Ironically, considering what was going on at home with Gina Sprague, the song, written by Michael and Randy, is an anthem to loving human relations. In the video, the brothers appear as superhuman behemoths hoisting a colourful rainbow to light the heavens. They sprinkle Stardust upon the earth, which causes small children of all races and colours to beam at them with appreciation. Bathed in rainbow hues, the youngsters gaze up in wonder at Michael and his brothers. In return, the Jacksons smile down upon the children benevolently; Michael with the biggest smile of all.

'It's a nice place Michael comes from,' Steven Spielberg has observed. 'I wish we could all spend some time in his world.'

Michael also became close to actress Jane Fonda, at this time forty-two, about twenty years Michael's senior, who would try to encourage him to see his mother in a more human light. He and Jane met in 1980 at a press function in Los Angeles. The two discussed their lives, both having come from show-business families, and quickly became close. Some people in Michael's world have speculated that the reason he gravitated towards powerful women who seem self-sufficient, such as Diana Ross and, later, Elizabeth Taylor, was because he had felt so helpless while watching his mother being abused by Joseph. He viewed Katherine as weak and victimized, therefore he searched for a subst.i.tute mother, a strong woman he could emulate and respect. It's as good a theory as any other; who knows? Maybe he just likes to hang out with divas.

Jane's Fonda's father, legendary actor Henry Fonda, had been an emotionally distant, difficult man, much like Michael's father, Joseph. She understood Michael's anger at the way Joseph treated his wife, Katherine, had similarly heated emotions about her own parents, and had worked for years to resolve them. She invited Michael to stay with her in her cabin on a New England lake as she and her father, along with veteran actress, Katharine Hepburn, filmed On Golden Pond. On Golden Pond. 'In some ways,' Jane Fonda recalled, 'Michael reminded me of the walking wounded, an extremely fragile person.' 'In some ways,' Jane Fonda recalled, 'Michael reminded me of the walking wounded, an extremely fragile person.'

As Michael sat with Katharine Hepburn with a tape-recorder, she shared anecdotes about her life. 'Every one included some kind of message for Michael,' said Jane, 'about the way he might want to handle fame, about the way he might want to deal with his life. They became good friends. He just thought she was fascinating.'

While in New England, Michael also befriended Henry Fonda.

He and Jane, though, were the closest. As he told me, 'We would go out on the water together in a row boat and just talk, talk and talk... you name it: politics, philosophers, racism, Vietnam, acting, all kinds of things.'

Once, Michael and Jane were taking a drive Jane was behind the wheel and they were discussing possible film projects for him. 'G.o.d, Michael, I wish I could find a movie I could produce for you,' she said, wistfully. Suddenly, an idea occurred to her. 'I know what you've got to do,' she said. 'Peter Pan! That's it!'

Tears began to well in Michael's eyes. He wanted to know why she would suggest that character. She told him that, in her mind's eye, he really was Peter Pan, the symbol of youth, joy and freedom.

Michael began to weep. 'You know all over the walls of my room are pictures of Peter Pan. I totally identify with Peter Pan,' he said, wiping his eyes, 'the lost boy of Never-Never Land.'

When the subject of Katherine came up between them during one conversation, Michael confided in Jane about the Gina Sprague incident. According to Bernice Littman, who was a Beverly Hills friend of Jane Fonda's and worked for her as a personal a.s.sistant at this time, 'Jane thought the whole [Katherine vs. Gina.] thing was tragic, and that Michael was too fragile to handle it. She also felt badly for Michael's mother and wondered just how far a woman has to be pushed before she reacts in such a way. She spent a lot of time trying connect with him, really worked at it, took it on as a true concern in her life. ”I feel a responsibility to him,” she told me, ”just from one human being to another. He so needs love.” ”You have to stop trying to find strength in other people,” she told him one day during one of their talks. He was at her home in the library with her; I was in the outer office. ”Your mother has flaws, Michael, just as we all do. But you're an adult, now,” she said. ”Why not let your mother be who she is, and find your own strength, within?” I don't think Michael could understand what she was saying. ”Can you help me?” he asked her. ”I'm so miserable. I'm having a terrible life.” They embraced. ”You're having a wonderful life, Michael,” she said. ”These are just hard years, but it'll get better. I promise.”

'Michael sobbed like a baby,' said Bernice. 'So did I. I stood outside of the library and just cried. It was so sad. He was so sad. It was as if he was an alien, just visiting, from another world.'

Meanwhile, in the real world, a CBS Records executive telephoned Michael to ask him how he should handle the press, who had begun asking questions about his mother.

'What do you mean? Michael wondered.

'The Gina Sprague incident.'

'Who's she?' Michael asked, snappishly.

'The woman who got into the disagreement with your mother, Randy and Janet.'

'That never happened,' Michael said, quickly.

'But '

'I'm sorry,' Michael concluded, 'but I have to go, now.'

With that, he hung up the phone. Michael was withdrawing deeper into his fantasy world, a place where such things as his mother possibly a.s.saulting his father's girlfriend would never occur. He was becoming more distant, harder to reach. How long would it be before no one, not even someone like Jane Fonda, would be able to connect with him? It would simply be too painful for him to allow anyone to get that close.

PART FIVE.

The First 'Nose Job'... and Other Freedoms.

Despite the inroads he had made towards independence from his family, by 1981, Michael Jackson still felt that his life was spinning out of control. When he was onstage, performing, he could transform himself into the desirable person of his dreams: a s.e.xy, outgoing, confident person who exerted total control over himself and his audience. But offstage was another story. When he looked in the mirror, he saw a person he didn't like very much, a person who still allowed himself to be controlled by other people, whose talent was respected but whose opinions didn't matter. He'd begun to work on some of that with John Branca, but what could he do about the physical appearance of the man in the mirror? He'd never felt handsome, that's for certain, and by 1981 he had a litany of personal complaints, all adding to his deep insecurity.

Michael considered rhinoplasty surgery, popularly known as 'a nose job', as a possibility to thin out his wide nose. Since about the age of thirteen, he'd always been fixated on the size of his nose, and his brothers had only made matters worse with their nickname for him: Big Nose. Wide, flat noses were a Jackson family trait, inherited from Joseph. Michael had been threatening to have the surgery for years, but he was too afraid actually to go through with it. However, in the spring of 1979, he tripped during a complicated dance routine, fell onstage... and broke his nose. Fate had intervened; he had no choice. He flew back to Los Angeles and had his first rhinoplasty.

Gina Sprague recalled, 'Joseph told me he doubted that Michael would ever have had the nose job if he didn't have to do it. That was the first. No one ever dreamed what it would lead to in the future. After the bandages came off, Michael liked what he saw.'

The result of that first surgery is the nose seen on the cover of Michael's Off the Wall Off the Wall alb.u.m, one just a bit smaller than the one with which he was born. Indeed, Michael's face had been surgically transformed, confirming the notion for him that his appearance was one thing over which he could absolutely exert control if he wanted to do so. However, afterwards Michael complained of some breathing problems, and trouble singing. He was then referred to Dr Steven Hoefflin, who would suggest a second surgery. Hoefflin would perform that surgery, and others that Michael would eventually have on his face. alb.u.m, one just a bit smaller than the one with which he was born. Indeed, Michael's face had been surgically transformed, confirming the notion for him that his appearance was one thing over which he could absolutely exert control if he wanted to do so. However, afterwards Michael complained of some breathing problems, and trouble singing. He was then referred to Dr Steven Hoefflin, who would suggest a second surgery. Hoefflin would perform that surgery, and others that Michael would eventually have on his face.

His friend, Jane Fonda was sufficiently distressed enough about Michael's new plastic surgery to approach him about it. She was perceptive enough to speculate that the real reason for the operations on his nose was not so that he could look like Diana Ross as rumoured but, so that he would not not end up looking like his father, Joseph. She was a different kind of friend for Michael, a person with more on her mind than just show business. Thoughtful and direct, she was the only person in his life who actually confronted Michael about his surgeries. 'I want you to stop now,' she told Michael, according to a later recollection. 'No more. Promise me you won't go too far with this thing. Love yourself the way you are, for who you are.' end up looking like his father, Joseph. She was a different kind of friend for Michael, a person with more on her mind than just show business. Thoughtful and direct, she was the only person in his life who actually confronted Michael about his surgeries. 'I want you to stop now,' she told Michael, according to a later recollection. 'No more. Promise me you won't go too far with this thing. Love yourself the way you are, for who you are.'

'I'll try,' Michael promised.

'And stand up straight,' she told him, as if his school teacher. 'You must look like you are somebody important, and that you understand what you're doing and why you are here. If you at least look look self-confident, maybe you won't be so shy.' self-confident, maybe you won't be so shy.'

'Yes, Jane.'

But Michael obviously was not not self-confident. By 1980, he had his new nose, but he was still desperately unhappy. 'Even at home, I'm lonely,' he said. 'I sit in my room sometimes and cry. It's so hard to make friends, and there are some things you can't talk to your parents or family about. I sometimes walk around the neighbourhood at night, just hoping to find someone to talk to. But I just end up coming home.' The notion of Michael Jackson a world-renowned superstar walking around his Encino neighbourhood in search of someone to talk to is startling. Imagine the depth of his despair, his loneliness. self-confident. By 1980, he had his new nose, but he was still desperately unhappy. 'Even at home, I'm lonely,' he said. 'I sit in my room sometimes and cry. It's so hard to make friends, and there are some things you can't talk to your parents or family about. I sometimes walk around the neighbourhood at night, just hoping to find someone to talk to. But I just end up coming home.' The notion of Michael Jackson a world-renowned superstar walking around his Encino neighbourhood in search of someone to talk to is startling. Imagine the depth of his despair, his loneliness.

The fact that his face was still broken out with acne did not help matters. Michael had read that the types of greasy foods he enjoyed contributed to the problem. Jermaine, who also had acne, became a vegetarian in order to solve the problem. It worked. Michael decided that he would do the same. One unexpected consequence of the diet was that he lost weight. Michael was certainly not fat, obviously, but he still had 'baby fat' around his waist, and his face was full. He longed to be slimmer, to have what he called 'a dancer's body'. In time, his figure would become more streamlined and the roundness in his face would disappear. His acne would also clear up. Many people would think that Michael had 'cheek implant' surgery in 1980, but the new, clearly defined lines of his face were actually brought about by the gradual weight loss he had experienced after becoming a vegetarian, and also by the natural aging process.

It was John Branca's suggestion that, if Michael wanted to forge some independence he might want to consider purchasing his own real estate. He was twenty-two. Why did he have to live at home? The idea of moving away from Joseph was exhilarating for Michael, even though he didn't want to leave Katherine. Still, he thought he might try it. Therefore, in February of 1981, Michael bought a three-bedroom, three-bathroom condominium at 5420 Lindley Avenue in Encino for $210,000. He paid $175,000 in cash. The balance .$35,000 came from Katherine. In exchange, Michael gave her equity in the condominium as sole and separate property, meaning she did not have to share it with Joseph as community property. It was his way of giving her a bit of freedom, as well. Certainly, Michael didn't need her to contribute $35,000. No doubt, she wanted to pay for the possibility of having her own freedom, just like her son. 'Now, if you can't stand him for another second,' Michael said, speaking of Joseph, 'you can move here. It will be great. We could live here together, imagine that! And without him him.'

In the end, Michael could not go through with it; he couldn't move out, especially since Katherine didn't want to go, either. 'I just don't feel it's time for me to move away from home yet,' he said. 'If I moved out now, I'd die of loneliness. Most people who move out go to discos every night. They party every night. They invite friends over, and I don't do any of those things.' (In a couple of years, Michael would move into the condominium temporarily, along with other family members, when the Encino home was remodelled. He still owns the condominium today; it has been used as a haven for his brothers when they have had marital difficulties.) In the spring of 1981, plans were being finalized for The Jacksons to embark on a thirty-nine-city concert tour of the United States to support their new alb.u.m, called Triumph. Triumph. Michael didn't want to go. One problem he had with touring concerned the enormous amount of preparation and work involved. Then when it was over, it was over unlike a movie or a video, which is timeless and lasting. 'What's so sad about the whole thing is that you don't capture the moment,' he told me of live performances. 'Look at how many great actors or entertainers have been lost to the world because they did a performance one night and that was it. With film, you capture it, it's shown all over the world, and it's there for ever. Spencer Tracy will always be young in Michael didn't want to go. One problem he had with touring concerned the enormous amount of preparation and work involved. Then when it was over, it was over unlike a movie or a video, which is timeless and lasting. 'What's so sad about the whole thing is that you don't capture the moment,' he told me of live performances. 'Look at how many great actors or entertainers have been lost to the world because they did a performance one night and that was it. With film, you capture it, it's shown all over the world, and it's there for ever. Spencer Tracy will always be young in Captains Courageous, Captains Courageous, and I can learn and be stimulated by his performance. and I can learn and be stimulated by his performance.

'So much is lost in live theatre. Or vaudeville. Do you know how much I could have learned by watching all of those entertainers? When I perform, I feel like I'm giving a whole lot but for nothing. I like to capture things and hold them and share them with the world.'

He really had no choice, however. His family wanted him to go on the road with them the tour was projected to gross millions of dollars for them the record label had also insisted upon a tour... so there would be a tour. Michael just hoped that it would, in some way, unite the family after such difficult times at home. He was frustrated and upset, but he would force himself along. Still, some would notice a cold implacability on his face when with the family at rehearsals. He seemed removed from the proceedings, not involved, not interested.

Before embarking on the Triumph tour, Michael underwent the second rhinoplasty surgery recommended by Dr Steven Hoefflin. 'He didn't tell his family he was doing it,' said Marcus Phillips. 'He just did it. He came home all black and blue and bandaged, and Katherine said, ”Michael, what in the world happened to you?” She must have thought he'd been beaten up. ”Did you break your nose again?” she asked. He told her he hadn't, that his doctor recommended a second operation. Then, he went to his bedroom and stayed there for a week, coming down to the kitchen every now and then for some vegetables.

'One thing I know to be true is that Michael was elated about the fact that with the second nose job he looked less like his father,' Marcus Phillips said. 'That appealed to him very much. If he couldn't erase Joseph from his life, at least he could erase him from the reflection in the mirror. Already, he was talking about having a third nose job.'

Even though Michael never discussed his surgery with anyone, he was crying out for help, becoming obsessed by the appearance of the man in the mirror, and a dangerous pattern was beginning to emerge.

In June 1981, Michael and Quincy Jones began work on a storytelling record book of Steven Spielberg's film, E. T. E. T. Michael would also be featured as vocalist on one song, 'Someone in the Dark', written by Alan and Marilyn Bergman. Michael was so enchanted by the story of Michael would also be featured as vocalist on one song, 'Someone in the Dark', written by Alan and Marilyn Bergman. Michael was so enchanted by the story of E. T. E. T. that he couldn't wait to meet the animated extraterrestrial 'actor' when a publicity photo session was arranged. 'He grabbed me, he put his arms around me,' Michael said of the animatronic robot, his face filled with child-like wonder. 'He was so real that I was talking to him. I kissed him before I left. The next day, I missed him.' that he couldn't wait to meet the animated extraterrestrial 'actor' when a publicity photo session was arranged. 'He grabbed me, he put his arms around me,' Michael said of the animatronic robot, his face filled with child-like wonder. 'He was so real that I was talking to him. I kissed him before I left. The next day, I missed him.'

Later in the month, Michael went into the studio with Diana Ross to produce a song for her called 'Muscles' named after his pet snake. Michael was ecstatic about the opportunity to produce a record for his idol. Some claimed that the reason Michael had his plastic surgery was in order to look more like Miss Ross. However, as one Jackson confidant put it, 'If Michael Jackson wanted to look like Diana Ross, believe me, he had the millions to look exactly exactly like Diana Ross. That was never his intention. However, that's not to say that he wasn't tickled that people thought he resembled her. ”Do you really think I do?” he would ask, tilting his head in a pose. ”Because if I do, wow! How amazing would like Diana Ross. That was never his intention. However, that's not to say that he wasn't tickled that people thought he resembled her. ”Do you really think I do?” he would ask, tilting his head in a pose. ”Because if I do, wow! How amazing would that that be.”' be.”'

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