Part 21 (1/2)

”Yeah.” And though I knew in my heart that Julie's death wasn't our fault, I couldn't escape the guilt that tightened my chest and made my whole body feel heavy.

Uncle Brendon sank into the other armchair and shook his head in regret. ”This is why you have to stay out of reaper business. That poor girl would be alive right now if you two had just left things alone.”

”Yeah, but Emma wouldn't.” My free hand gripped the arm of the couch. ”And we had no way of knowing for sure she'd take another one. Tod said there shouldn't be any penalty for saving a life that shouldn't have been taken in the first place.”

”She?” My father slowly lowered his mug onto its coaster. ”Do I even want to know how you know the reaper is a woman?”

I s.h.i.+fted uncomfortably on the couch and glanced at Nash, but he shrugged, leaving it up to me. So I made myself meet my father's gaze. ”We...kind of saw her.”

Uncle Brendon sat straight in his chair, every muscle in his body tense. ”How?”

”She just showed up.” I shrugged. ”When they were doing CPR on Julie. She was at the back of the gym, behind most of the crowd, and she smiled at us.”

”She smiled at you?” My father frowned. ”Why would she show herself on purpose?”

”It doesn't matter,” my uncle said. ”The reapers will take care of their own. We should stay out of it.”

For a moment, I thought my father would argue. He looked almost as angry as I was. But then he nodded decisively. ”I agree.”

”But what if they can't find her?” I demanded, Nash's hand still clasped in mine.

My father shook his head and leaned back in his chair, crossing both arms over the front of his sweater. ”If you two can find her, the reapers can find her.”

”But-”

”They're right, Kaylee,” Nash said only inches from my ear. ”We don't even know who the reaper will go after next. If she does it again at all.”

She would. The moment she'd smiled at me, I'd known she wasn't finished. She would take another girl soon, unless someone stopped her. But no one else seemed willing to try.

My father turned to his brother, his thoughts hidden by a calm facade. ”How are your girls?” he asked, and just like that, the subject was closed.

”They aren't taking this very well.” My uncle heaved a heavy sigh. ”Sophie's out with her friends. The girl who died yesterday was on her dance team, and the rest of the squad is spending every waking moment together, like some sort of perpetual wake. And Val...She got a quarter of the way through a bottle of brandy this afternoon, before I even knew she'd opened it. I put her to bed about an hour ago to let her sleep it off.”

Wow. Maybe Aunt Val needed to go see Dr. Nelson.

”I'm sorry, Bren.”

Uncle Brendon shrugged, as if it didn't matter, but the tense line of his shoulders said otherwise. ”She was always pretty high-strung. Sophie's the same way. They'll be fine once this all blows over.”

But it wasn't going to blow over, and I couldn't be the only one who knew that.

Uncle Brendon stood and picked up his mug. His every movement spoke of exhaustion and dread. ”I'm going to check on my wife. Val got the guest room ready for you this morning. If you need anything else, just ask Kaylee.”

”Thanks.” When Uncle Brendon's bedroom door closed, my father stood and faced Nash, obviously expecting him to stand too. ”Nash, I can't tell you how grateful I am for how you've helped my daughter.”

Still stubbornly seated, Nash shook his head. ”I couldn't have done anything without her there to hold the soul.”

”I mean what you did for Kaylee. Brendon says your dose of truth probably saved her from a serious breakdown.” He held his hand out, and Nash floundered for one awkward moment, then stood and accepted it.

”Dad...” I started, but he shook his head.

”I messed up, and Nash picked up the slack. He deserves to be thanked.” He shook Nash's hand firmly, then let go and stepped back, clearing an obvious path to the front door.

I rolled my eyes at his less-than-subtle hint. ”I agree. But Nash is staying. He knows more about this than I do anyway.” I slipped my hand into his and stood as close to him as I could get.

To my surprise, though he looked irritated, my father didn't argue. His gaze s.h.i.+fted from me to Nash, then back to me, and he simply nodded, evidently resigned. ”Fine. If you trust him, so do I.” He backed slowly toward his chair and sat facing us. Then he inhaled deeply and met my steady gaze. I was ready to hear whatever he had to say.

But the real question was whether or not he was ready to say it.

”I know this all should have come out years ago,” he began. ”But the truth is that every time I decided it was time to tell you about your mother-about yourself-I couldn't do it. You look so much like her....”

His voice cracked, and he glanced down, and when he looked at me again, his eyes were s.h.i.+ny with unshed tears.

”You look so much like her that every time I see you, my heart jumps for joy, then breaks all over again. Maybe it would have been easier if I'd kept you with me. If I'd seen you every day and watched you develop into your own person. But as it is, I look at you and I see her, and it's so d.a.m.n hard...”

Nash squirmed, and I stared at my hands as my father looked around the living room, avoiding our eyes until he had himself under control. Then he sighed and swiped one arm across his eyes, blotting tears on a sweater too thick to be truly necessary in September.

c.r.a.p. He was actually crying. I didn't know how to deal with a crying father. I barely knew how to deal with a normal one.

”Um, anyone else hungry? I didn't get any supper.”

”I could eat,” Nash said, and I was sure he'd picked up on my need to break the tension.

Or maybe he was just hungry.

”Is macaroni and cheese okay?” I asked, already halfway out of the room by the time he nodded. Nash and my dad followed me through the dining room and into the kitchen, where I knelt to dig a bag of elbow pasta from the back of a bottom cabinet.

I'd thought I was ready. That I could deal with whatever he had to say. But the truth was that I couldn't just sit there and watch my father cry. I needed something to keep my hands busy while my heart broke.

”You can cook?” My father eyed me in surprise as I pulled a pot from another cabinet, and a block of Velveeta from my uncle's shelf in the fridge.

”It's just pasta. Uncle Brendon taught me.” He'd also taught me to hide the occasional bag of chocolate behind his stash of pork rinds, which Aunt Val would never touch, even to throw away in a frenzied junk food purge.

My father sat on one of the bar stools, still watching as I turned the burner on and sprinkled salt into the water. Nash settled on a stool two down from him and crossed his arms on the countertop.

”So what do you want to know first?” My dad met my gaze over the cheese I was unwrapping on a cutting board.

I shrugged and pulled a knife from a drawer on my left. ”I think I have a pretty good handle on the whole bean sidhe thing, thanks to Nash.” My father cringed, and I might have felt guilty if he'd ever made any attempt to explain things himself. ”But why did Aunt Val say I was living on borrowed time? What does that mean?”

This time he flinched like I'd slapped him. He'd obviously been expecting something else-probably a technical question from the How to Be a Bean Sidhe handbook, my copy of which had probably gotten lost in the mail.

My father sighed and suddenly looked very tired. ”That's a long story, Kaylee, and one I'd rather tell in private.”

”No.” I shook my head firmly and ripped open the bag of pasta. ”You flew halfway around the world because you owe me an explanation.” Not to mention an apology. ”I want to hear it now.”

My father's brow rose in surprise, and more than a hint of irritation. Then he frowned. ”You sound just like your mother.”