Part 2 (1/2)

”All right. But don't dally; I won't be put off with a Scheherazade gag. Have them send me a recorder-tomorrow morning, say.”

Weatheral seemed about to speak, did not. Lazarus looked at him sharply. This This conversation is being recorded?” conversation is being recorded?”

”Yes, Lazarus. Sound and holography, everything that happens in this suite. But-your pardon, sir!-it goes only to my desk and does not become a permanent record until I have checked and okayed it. Nothing so far, that is.”

Lazarus shrugged. ”Forget it. Ira, I learned centuries back that there is no no privacy in any society crowded enough to need ID's. A law guaranteeing privacy simply insures that bugs-microphones and lenses and so forth-are that much harder to spot. I hadn't thought about it up till now because I take it for granted that my privacy will be invaded any time I visit such places-then I ignore it unless I'm up to something the local law won't like. In which case I use evasive tactics.” privacy in any society crowded enough to need ID's. A law guaranteeing privacy simply insures that bugs-microphones and lenses and so forth-are that much harder to spot. I hadn't thought about it up till now because I take it for granted that my privacy will be invaded any time I visit such places-then I ignore it unless I'm up to something the local law won't like. In which case I use evasive tactics.”

”Lazarus, that record can be wiped. Its only purpose is to make me certain that the Senior is being properly taken care of-a responsibility I will not delegate.”

”I said, 'Forget it.' But I'm surprised at your naivete, a man in your position, in thinking that the record is piped only to your desk. I'll lay long odds, any amount you like, that it goes one, two, even three or more other places.”

”If so, Lazarus, and I can find it out, Felicity will have some new colonists-after they've spent some unpleasant hours in the Colosseum.”

”Ira, it doesn't matter. If any fool wants to watch an old, old man grunting on the pot or taking a bath, he's welcome. You yourself insured that it would happen by making a point of the record being secret, your eyes only. Security people always spy on their bosses; they can't help it, it's a syndrome that goes with the job. Have you had dinner? I'd be pleased to have you stay if you have time.”

”I would be honored indeed to have dinner with the Senior.”

”Oh, knock it off, Bud; there's no virtue in being old, it just takes a long time. I'd like you to stay because I'm enjoying human companions.h.i.+p. Those two over there are no company; I'm not even sure they're human. Robots, maybe. Why do they wear those diving suits and s.h.i.+ny helmets? I like to see a man's face.”

”Lazarus, those are total isolation garments. For your protection, not theirs. Against infection.”

What? Ira, when a bug bites me, the bug dies. Even so, since they have to wear that, how is it that Ira, when a bug bites me, the bug dies. Even so, since they have to wear that, how is it that you you come in wearing street clothes?” come in wearing street clothes?”

”Not quite, Lazarus. For my purpose I needed a social talk, face to face. So the last two hours before I came in I spent undergoing a most careful physical examination, followed by scalp-to-toe sterilization of skin, hair, ears, nails, teeth, nose, throat-even a gas inhalation which I can't name but did not like-while my clothes were sterilized even more thoroughly. Even that envelope I fetched to you. This suite is sterile and kept so.”

”Ira, such precautions are silly. Unless my immunity has been intentionally lowered?”

”No. Or let me say, 'I think not.' No reason for it as any transplant will of course be done from your own clone.”

”So it's unnecessary. If I didn't catch anything in that flophouse, why would I catch anything now? But I don't don't catch things. I worked as a physician during a plague-don't look surprised; medicine is just one of fifty-odd trades I've followed. Unknown plague on Ormuzd; everybody caught it, twenty-eight percent died. Save yours truly, who didn't even have a sniffle. So tell those-No, you'll want to do it through the Director of the Clinic; bypa.s.sing your chain-of-command ruins morale-though why I should care about this organization's morale I don't know, seeing that I am an involuntary guest. Tell the Director that, if I must have nurses, I want them to dress like nurses. Or, better yet, like people. Ira, if you want cooperation out of me of catch things. I worked as a physician during a plague-don't look surprised; medicine is just one of fifty-odd trades I've followed. Unknown plague on Ormuzd; everybody caught it, twenty-eight percent died. Save yours truly, who didn't even have a sniffle. So tell those-No, you'll want to do it through the Director of the Clinic; bypa.s.sing your chain-of-command ruins morale-though why I should care about this organization's morale I don't know, seeing that I am an involuntary guest. Tell the Director that, if I must have nurses, I want them to dress like nurses. Or, better yet, like people. Ira, if you want cooperation out of me of any any sort, you'll start by cooperating with sort, you'll start by cooperating with me me. Otherwise I'm going to take the joint apart with my bare hands.”

”I'll speak to the Director, Lazarus.”

”Good. Now let's have dinner. But a drink first-and if the Director doesn't think I should have one, tell him bluntly that he will have to go back to force-feeding and there is some question as to whose throat the tube will go down; I'm in no mood to be pushed around. Is there any real whisky on this planet? Wasn't the last time I was here.”

”Not that I would drink. But the local brandy I think well of.”

”Good. Brandy and bubbles for me if that is the best we can do, a brandy Manhattan if anyone knows what I mean by that.”

”I do, and like them-I learned something about ancient drinks when I studied your life.”

”Fine. Then please order for us, drinks and dinner-and I'll listen and see how many words I can pick up. I think my memory is coming back a bit.”

Weatheral spoke to one of the technicians; Lazarus interrupted. ”That should be one-third sweet vermouth, not one-half.” sweet vermouth, not one-half.”

”So? You understood it?”

”Mostly. Indo-European roots, with a simplified syntax and grammar; I'm beginning to recall it. d.a.m.n it, when a man has had to learn as many languages as I have, it's easy for one to slip away. But it's coming back.”

Service was so fast as to cause one to suspect that a crew was standing by ready to produce anything that the Senior or the Chairman Pro Tem asked for.

Weatheral raised his gla.s.s. ”Long life.”

”In a pig's eye,” Lazarus growled and took a sip. He made a face. ”Whew! Panther sweat. But it does have alcohol in it.” He took another. ”Improves as your tongue gets numb. Okay, Ira, you've stalled long enough. What was your real real reason for s.n.a.t.c.hing me back from my well-earned rest?” reason for s.n.a.t.c.hing me back from my well-earned rest?”

”Lazarus, we need your wisdom.”

II.

Lazarus stared in horror. ”What did you say?” did you say?”

”I said,” Ira Weatheral repeated, ”that we need your wisdom, sir. We do.”

”I thought that I was off again in one of those before-dying dreams. Son, you've come to the wrong window. Try across the hall.”

Weatheral shook his head. ”No, sir. Oh, it isn't necessary to use the word 'wisdom' if it offends you. But we do need to learn what you know. You are more than twice as old as the next oldest member of the Families. You mentioned that you have practiced more than fifty professions. You've been everywhere, you've seen far more than anyone else. You've certainly learned more than any of the rest of us. We aren't doing things much better now than we were two thousand years ago, when you were young. You must know why we are still making mistakes our ancestors made. It would be a great loss if you hurried your death without taking time to tell us what you have learned.”

Lazarus scowled and bit his lip. ”Son, one of the few things I've learned is that humans hardly ever learn from the experience of others. They learn-when they do, which isn't often -on their own, the hard way.”

”That one statement is worth recording for all time.”

”Hmm! No one would learn anything from it; that's what it says. Ira, age does not bring wisdom. Often it merely changes simple stupidity into arrogant conceit. Its only advantage, so far as I have been able to see, is that it spans No one would learn anything from it; that's what it says. Ira, age does not bring wisdom. Often it merely changes simple stupidity into arrogant conceit. Its only advantage, so far as I have been able to see, is that it spans change. change. A young person sees the world as a still picture, immutable. An old person has had his nose rubbed in changes and more changes and still more changes so many times that he A young person sees the world as a still picture, immutable. An old person has had his nose rubbed in changes and more changes and still more changes so many times that he knows knows it is a moving picture, forever changing. He may not like it-probably doesn't; it is a moving picture, forever changing. He may not like it-probably doesn't; I I don't-but he knows it's so, and knowing it is the first step in coping with it.” don't-but he knows it's so, and knowing it is the first step in coping with it.”

”May I place in open record what you have just said?”

”Huh? That's not wisdom, that's a cliche. An obvious truth. Any fool will admit that, even if he doesn't live by it.”

”It would carry greater weight with your name on it, Senior.”

”Do as you like; it's just horse sense. But if you think I have gazed upon the naked Face of G.o.d, think again. I haven't even begun to find out how the Universe works, much less what it is for. To figure out the basic questions about this World it would be necessary to stand outside outside and look at it. Not inside. No, not in two thousand years, not in twenty thousand. When a man dies, he may shake loose his local perspective and see the thing as a whole.” and look at it. Not inside. No, not in two thousand years, not in twenty thousand. When a man dies, he may shake loose his local perspective and see the thing as a whole.”

”Then you believe in an afterlife?”

”Slow up! I don't 'believe' 'believe' in anything. I in anything. I know know certain things -little things, not the Nine Billion Names of G.o.d-from experience. But I have no beliefs. Belief gets in the way of learning.” certain things -little things, not the Nine Billion Names of G.o.d-from experience. But I have no beliefs. Belief gets in the way of learning.”

”That's what we want, Lazarus: what you have learned. Even though you say it's nothing but 'little things.' May I suggest that anyone who has managed to stay alive as long as you have must necessarily have learned many things, or you could not have lived so long? Most humans die violent deaths. The very fact that we live so much longer than our ancestors did makes this inevitable. Traffic accident, murder, wild animals, sports, pilot error, a slippery bit of mud-eventually something catches up with us. You haven't lived a safe, placid life-quite the contrary!-yet you have managed to outwit all hazards for twenty-three centuries. How? How? It can't be luck.” It can't be luck.”

”Why can't it be? The most unlikely things do happen, Ira -there is nothing so unlikely as a baby. But it's true that I've always watched where I put my feet . . and never fought when I could duck out . . and when I did have to fight, I always fought dirty. If I had to fight, I wanted him him to be dead instead of to be dead instead of me me. So I tried to arrange it that way. Not luck. Or not much, anyway.” Lazarus blinked thoughtfully. ”I've never argued with the weather. Once a mob wanted to lynch me. I didn't try to reason with them; I just put a lot of miles between me and them as fast as I could and never went back there.”

”That's not in any of your memoirs.”

”Lots of things not in my memoirs. Here comes chow.”

The door dilated, a dining table for two glided in, positioned itself as the chairs separated for it, and started unfolding to serve. The technicians approached quietly and offered unnecessary personal service. Weatheral said, ”Smells good. Do you have any eating rituals?”

”Eh? Praying or such? No.”

”Not that sort. Such as-Say one of my executives eats with me: I won't let him discuss business at the table. But if you will permit, I would like to continue this conversation.”