Part 38 (2/2)
”Uh . . all I can say, Miss Minerva, is that I am delighted to meet you in the flesh. Your servant, Miss.”
”Oh, don't call me 'Miss,' call me 'Minerva.' I shouldn't be called 'Miss' anyhow; isn't that honorific reserved for virgins among flesh-and-bloods? Ishtar-one of my mothers and my chief designer-deflowered me surgically before she woke me.”
”And that ain't all!” came the voice from the ceiling.
”Athene,” Minerva said reprovingly. ”Sister, you're embarra.s.sing our guest.”
”I'm not, but maybe you are, sister mine.”
”Am I, Mr. Foote? I hope not. But I'm still learning to be a human being. Will you kiss me? I'd like to kiss you; we've known each other almost a century and I've always liked you. Will you?”
”Now who's embarra.s.sing him, sister?”
”Minerva,” said Ira.
She suddenly sobered. ”I shouldn't have said that?”
Lazarus cut in. ”Pay no attention to Ira, Justin; he's an old stick-in-the-mud. Minerva is a 'kissin cousin' to most of the colony; she's making up for lost time. Furthermore, she is some sort of cousin to practically all of us through her twenty-three parents. And she's learned how how-kissing her is a treat. Athene, let your sis be while she adds on another kissing cousin.”
”Yes, Lazarus. Ol' Buddy Boy!”
”Teena, if I could reach through that string of wires, I'd spank you.” Lazarus added, ”Go ahead, Justin.”
”Uh . . Minerva, I haven't kissed a girl in many years. Out of practice.”
”Mr. Foote, I do not mean to embarra.s.s you. I am simply delighted to see you again. You need not kiss me. Or if you are willing to kiss me in private, you are most welcome.”
”Don't risk it, Justin,” advised the computer. ”I'm your friend.”
”Athene!”
”I was about to add,” said the Chief Archivist, ”that I probably need practice in 'learning to be a human being' more than you do. If you'll put up with my rustiness, Cousin, I accept your sweet offer. Brace yourself.”
Minerva smiled quickly, went into his arms, flowed up against him like a cat, closed her eyes, and opened her mouth. Ira studied a paper on his desk. Lazarus did not even pretend not to watch. He noted that Justin Foote put his heart into the matter-the old buzzard might be out of practice, but he hadn't forgotten the basics.
When they broke, the computer gave a respectful whistle. ”Wheeee . . ooooo! Justin, welcome to the Club.”
”Yes,” Ira said dryly, ”a person can't be said to be officially on Tertius until he or she has been welcomed with a kiss from Minerva. Now that protocol is satisfied, sit down. Minerva, my dear, you came for some purpose?”
”Yes, sir.” She settled down by Justin Foote on a couch facing Ira and Lazarus-took Justin's hand. ”I was in the 'Dora' with the twins, and Dora was drilling them in astrogation, when the packet showed up in our sky and-”
”Hold it,” Lazarus interrupted. ”Did the brats track it?”
”Certainly, Lazarus. A live exercise?-Dora would never miss such a chance. She split herself instantly and made each of them track it independently. But once the autopacket grounded I asked Dora to ask Athene who was in it-and as soon as the pod opened, my sisters told me, Justin”-she squeezed his hand-”and I hurried to greet you. And to offer some arrangments. Ira, has Justin been provided for? A place to sleep, things like that?”
”Not yet, my dear. We were just starting to talk-he's barely had time to shake off the anesthetic.”
Foote remarked, ”I think the antidote has taken hold.”
The computer added, ”Cousin Justin just had a second dose, Ira. Pulse fast but steady.”
”That's enough, Athene. Were you going to suggest something, my dear?”
”Yes. I swung past the house and spoke with Ishtar. We are in agreement. Subject to approval of you and Lazarus.”
”You mean we get a vote?” Lazarus put in. ”Justin, this planet is run by its women.”
”Isn't that true everywhere?”
”No, just most of them. I remember a place where a wedding ceremony always concluded by killing the bride's mother if she hadn't been used up earlier. I thought that was overdoing it, but it did tend to-”
”Stow it, Grandpappy,” Ira said mildly. ”Justin would have to edit it out. Justin, what Minerva has been saying is that our house is yours. Lazarus?”
”Certainly. It's a madhouse, Justin, but the cooking is okay, and the price is right. Free, that is. It's just your nerves that pay.”
”Really, I have no intention of imposing. Isn't there someone who can rent me a room? Not for money-I a.s.sume that Secundus money is not negotiable here-but for artifacts I've fetched, things you don't make as yet.”
Lazarus answered, ”You can negotiate Secundus money through me if you need to. As for artifacts, you may be surprised at what we are making.”
”I might not be; I know that a universal pantograph was moved here. So I fetched new creative items, mostly entertainments-solly cubes and such. Musicalarkies, p.o.r.nies, dreams, other sorts-all published since you folks left Secundus.”
”Well planned.” Lazarus added, ”I think colonizing was more fun back when pioneers had no choice but to step in and slug it out and you weren't sure who was going to win, you or the planet. The way we do it now is like swatting an insect with a sledgehammer. Justin, your creepies will fetch a high price-but sell them in dribbles . . because each one will be copied as soon as you turn it loose. No copyright, there's no way to enforce it. But it still won't rent you a room; we're at the staying-with-kinfolk stage. You'd best accept our offer; it rains 'most every night this time o' year.”
Justin Foote looked baffled. ”I have misgivings about invading your privacy. Ira, could I borrow this couch I'm sitting on? For a short time? Then-”
”Stow it, Justin.” Lazarus stood up. ”Son, you're suffering from big-city att.i.tudes. You're welcome for a week or a century. You're not only my lineal descendant-through Harriet Foote, I think-but you're a kissin' cousin of Minerva's. Let's take him home, Minerva. What did you do with my h.e.l.lions?”
”They're outside.”
”Trust you staked 'em down.”
”No, but they were somewhat miffed.”
”Good for their metabolism. Ira, declare a holiday.”
”I will-as soon as I've gone over the ore converter plans with Athene.”
”Meaning you're going to find out from her what's she's decided.”
”You can say that again!” said the computer.
”Teena,” Lazarus said mildly, ”you've been a.s.sociating with Dora too much. When Minerva had your job, she was sweet, gentle, respectful, and humble.”
”Any complaints about my work, Grandpappy?”
”Just your manners, dear. In the presence of a guest.”
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