Part 48 (1/2)
”Okay, I did. You win the argument. But it's silly to talk about checking every day for year after year indefinitely. I've never seen the prison I couldn't escape from in less than a year -and I've been in quite a number. Maybe I should cancel the whole caper-no, no, I won't argue it! Now about time markers, if something forces you to recalibrate: Simple enough to ground and find out the exact Gregorian date . . but that's exactly what I don't don't want you to do . . because neither of you has any experience in coping with strange cultures-and you would get in trouble and I wouldn't be around to get you out.” want you to do . . because neither of you has any experience in coping with strange cultures-and you would get in trouble and I wouldn't be around to get you out.”
”Brother, do you think we are that stupid?”
”No, Laz, I do not not think you are stupid. You each have exactly the brain potential I started with-and I'm not stupid or I would not have lived so long. Furthermore, you each have enormously better educations than I had at your age. But, darlings, these are the think you are stupid. You each have exactly the brain potential I started with-and I'm not stupid or I would not have lived so long. Furthermore, you each have enormously better educations than I had at your age. But, darlings, these are the Dark Ages Dark Ages we're talking about. You two have been brought up to expect rational treatment . . which you wouldn't receive. I don't dare let you put foot to ground in that era, even with me at your side, until after I have coached you endlessly in how to be consistently irrational in what you do and say. Truly.” we're talking about. You two have been brought up to expect rational treatment . . which you wouldn't receive. I don't dare let you put foot to ground in that era, even with me at your side, until after I have coached you endlessly in how to be consistently irrational in what you do and say. Truly.”
Lazarus continued, ”Never mind, you have two ways to read the clock from s.p.a.ce. One is the Libby method, tedious but workable, by reading positions of the Solar System's planets. The trouble with that one is that, unless you spend one devilish long time on difficult observations, you can mistake a configuration for one almost like it-but several thousand years earlier or later.
”So we use what time marks we can find on the surface of Terra herself. The radioactive dating of that impact crater is probably close-but in any case, if the crater is missing, you're too early by some centuries. The dates for the building of the Great Wall of China are quite good, same for the Egyptian pyramids. The dates for the Suez Ca.n.a.l and the Panama Ca.n.a.l are exact-so, unfortunately, is the date of the destruction of Europe-but don't try to watch it! Keep your screens up and get out fast; that is a year when a strange s.p.a.ces.h.i.+p would be shot out of the sky if you were careless enough to be vulnerable. In fact, if any time marker on this list shows that you are later than 1940 Gregorian, get out at once!-and shoot for an earlier date.
”That's enough for now; it's getting toward bedtime by my sort of time, irrelevant though it may be to anything outside this s.h.i.+p. I want you to study all this stuff until you can recite it in your sleep, dates and what you look for and how to find it-even if you don't have a Terra globe to look at. Anybody think she can beat me at crib? Don't all speak at once.”
”I can,” said Dora, ”if you promise not to cheat on the shuffle.”
”Later, Dora,” said Captain Lorelei. ”Now we tell him.”
”Oh! All right, I'll be very quiet.”
”Tell me what?” what?” demanded Lazarus. demanded Lazarus.
”That it's time for you to impregnate us . . Lazarus.”
”Both of us,” agreed Lapis Lazuli.
Lazarus counted ten chimpanzees in his mind-then ten more. ”Absolutely out of the question!” ”Absolutely out of the question!”
They glanced at each other. Lorelei said: ”We knew you would say that-”
”-but the only question is whether you do it sweet and friendlylike-”
”-or we tell Ish you said No and she does it for us-your sperm-from the sperm bank-”
”-but we'd be much happier if our beloved brother, who has always been good to us-”
”-but is now going to go get his a.s.s shot off in the Dark Ages-”
”-were to drop his silly prejudices just once- just once-”
”-and treat us as biologically mature females-”
”-instead of the children we used to be-”
”-Ira and Galahad and Justin don't treat us as children-”
”-but you you do and it's not just humiliating; it's downright heartbreaking when we may never see you again-” do and it's not just humiliating; it's downright heartbreaking when we may never see you again-”
”-when you didn't make any real fuss about knocking up Minerva-”
”-not to mention Tammy and Hamadarling and Ish-”
”Stop it!”
They stopped.
”I concede a remote possibility with respect to three of them, although mathematically most unlikely.”
Lorelei said quietly, ”Mathematically extremely likely, Lazarus, because we were all in on it. Justin and Ira and Galahad hung back at the right times just the way they insured that Minerva's first baby was Ira's and Tammy's first was Justin's. But if it did not work out-for any one of four four, not 'three'-then Ishtar will correct it from the sperm bank.”
”I'm not in in the sperm bank!” the sperm bank!”
The girls exchanged glances. Lapis Lazuli said, ”Want to bet?”
The computer said, ”It's a sucker bet, Buddy.”
Lazarus looked thoughtful. ”Unless Ishtar tricked me almost twenty years back. When I was her rejuve client.”
Lorelei said quietly, ”I suppose she could have, Lazarus. But she did not, that I know of-and this is fresh sperm. Frozen not more than a year ago, any of it. After the day you announced a date for this trip.”
”Impossible.”
”Better not say 'Impossible.' What is the perfect container for keeping sperm fresh and alive until a technician can bank it?”
Lazarus looked very thoughtful. ”Well . . I'll . . be . . d.a.m.ned! d.a.m.ned!”
”Correct, Brother. Place a woman around it. You were being oh so careful to pick your bedmates by their cycles so that you wouldn't leave any babies behind . . and they were being oh so careful to see Ish or Galahad as soon as you fell asleep . . as well as fudging calendars, too. The point is, beloved brother of ours, you don't own your genes-n.o.body does. We've heard you say so, in discussing how Minerva was constructed. Genes belong to the race race; they're simply lent to the individual for his-her lifetime. And all all of us-knowing you were going to try this reckless thing-decided that, while you were free to throw away your life, you weren't free to waste a unique gene pattern.” of us-knowing you were going to try this reckless thing-decided that, while you were free to throw away your life, you weren't free to waste a unique gene pattern.”
Lazarus changed the subject. ”Why do you say 'four'?”
Lorelei answered, ”Brother, are you ashamed of Minerva? I do not believe it. Nor does Laz.”
”Uh-No, I'm not ashamed of her, I'm proud of her! d.a.m.n it, you two have always been able to get me mixed up. I simply did not know that she had told anyone. I have not.”
The other twin said, ”Who would she turn to but us?”
”You mean 'To whom would she turn.' ”
”d.a.m.n it, Brother, this is a h.e.l.l of a time to be correcting our grammar! Minerva turned to us for advice-and comfort! -because we're in the same difficult position with respect to you that she is. That she was was, I mean, for she came out of the bushes looking as smug as a cat. You made her happy-”
”-when she had been crying her eyes out-”
”-and she'll stay happy now, even if she missed catching-”
”-because once is enough for a symbol and if she missed-”
”Ish will fix it-”
”-and of course we knew about it when you finally quit dithering and did what you should have done for her years ago-”
”-because we helped rig it so that she could get you alone and twist your arm-”
”-and told her that if tears weren't enough, to chuck in some chin quivering-”