561 V2 ch33 (1/2)

We both moved to the back patio area, closing the sliding door behind us.

Kyle distanced himself and my hands subconsciously relaxed. I wasn't afraid of Kyle, but out of habit I was wary whenever I was alone.

Kyle seemed to notice. He took an extra step back, looking guilty. ”Jake...”

”Sorry...” I told him, wiping the sweat from my hands onto my shirt, trying to be discreet. ”I'm not scared of you.”

Embarrasment and guilt were clearly visble on his face. ”I wouldn't be surprised if you were scared of me. I haven't been myself this past month.”

I nodded slowly. ”I know.”

He grimaced. ”It must be terribly obvious if even you noticed.”

I cracked a smile at the joke. Feeling awkward about standing, I pointed to the steps. ”Do you want to sit down?”

”Yea, that'll be better.” He sat down first.

I sat down on the other end, just keeping some space.

He spent some time just staring at their fake backstop that can tell how fast they throw. I waited patiently.

”I want to be the best pitcher out there.” Kyle stated suddenly. ”I want to be better than Dave. Better than Garret. The best in the county and in state.”

Unsure of what that had to do with me, I continued to sit in silence.

”I've been mad this past month. With my performance. With Coach not choosing me in the finals. It hurt, it really hurt.” He grimaced. ”And I lashed out. Not just on you, but on Dave too. I shouldn't be so jealous of my twin, I should support him too. I'm his brother before being his competitor.” He glanced at me. ”Same with us.”

I blinked, confused. ”I'm not a pitcher...”

”But you're great. Amazing. Your talent exceeds everyone on the team. Even Zeke. So even though you aren't a pitcher, I was jealous and angry. Jealous of what I didn't have. And then angry because it seemed like everyone around me had some kind of talent that exceeded mine. That's why I'm so intent on getting to that pitching camp this summer. I need to distanced myself from everyone else. Stand out in the crowd.”

”You know...” I cleared my throat. ”You're not alone. In that feeling that you're behind.”

”It's different for you, Jake. You never played any games before yet we're on the same team. We've had different starting points, yet you're already on my level.” He shook his head. ”No, you're above me. You crushed me during your tryout and made me feel inferior. I feel...since then I've been kind of on edge. But then, I had that perfect game and it helped my self confidence.”

He sighed. ”That just makes me feel worse. Your problems are so much more than mine. You've dealt with abuse and I'm crying over not pitching in the finals.” He covered his eyes. ”I'm such a baby.”

I frowned. ”That doesn't make your problems invalid. You can't compare our struggles.” I thought about it. ”When I said everyone feels behind, I wasn't being vague. Noah...he feels like he needs to catch up to you guys a lot. The way he looks up to you guys and sees you three as his goal, it makes me a little sad. For him. He can't see how close he is. And then there's Dave. When he was injured, he struggled too.”