Chapter 50 (1/2)

Translator: Cryus

I don’t really know myself lately.

I called off my plans with Charles the other day, mainly because I was simply feeling unwell, but aside from that, I have also been upset from trivial matters.

The servants, for instance. They have been performing their duties as usual for the most part, but perhaps due to having lost any opportunity to see Oxe, the maid in question has been a little cold lately. When I try to converse with her, she speaks in a rather stern manner. If I continue the conversation, I get frustrated and think, hurry up and get married! I get tempted to vent and I dislike that, so I end up telling her to leave me alone.

And Father, for instance. I become extremely annoyed with him for no reason whatsoever. I don’t even want to see his face. That’s right. Even during meals, I tend to avoid dining with him.

I can’t have my own way with anything, and bad things just keep getting in my way. The only things that are certain in my life are Michelie’s cuteness and Mariwa’s strictness. I can only look at everything else with uncertainty.

Perhaps the reason for all this is connected to the workings of the mind of my past adolescent self.

“In fact, I have been thinking about this for a long while now.”

I voice my complaints to my best friend, who looks very annoyed.

“Have you been degenerating with every year?”

“I am not.”

I flatly deny her baseless criticism as she looks at me with cold, dark brown eyes that resemble gliding chestnuts. As a genius, I am constantly evolving and will never degenerate, for I am always filled with curiosity and a desire for improvement.

“Is that so. Then it was probably my imagination that you were slightly more intelligent than I during our first encounter. I hope this helps you understand my position when I voiced my own poetic complaints, but are you really sure you haven’t been degenerating? Or perhaps you have been nourishing seeds planted in your brain, and have come to see them grow into a garden?”

“Shut up. I don’t want to hear it coming from a shut-in like you.”

I retort, offended by my best friend’s tendency of hurling abuse without restraint. I could take her abuse lightly in the past, but being aware of my reaction now shocks me.

“Ugh, damn…… What’s this? Is a certain someone somewhere being jealous of my excellence and putting a curse on me……?!”

“No way.”

Surfania looks down on me with cold eyes as I droop my head.

My best friend hasn’t really changed in the past two years. She looks more mature and cool, but she still displays the same lack of interest in society as a shut-in. Of late, she has been saying such things as “I want to stay single and write novels for a living.” That’s a terminal way of thinking. According to my knowledge of my past existence, it’s not exactly impossible for a princess to live an unmarried life writing novels, but I honestly don’t recommend it. I want to tell Surfania to learn from her elder sisters and become a proper lady.

“Leaving aside what kind of flowers are blooming in your head right now…… You’re saying that you want to do something about not being honest with yourself.”

That’s a very simplified explanation, but it’s correct overall.

I nod in confirmation, and Surfania smiles in amusement.

“Well, I understand your feelings on the matter. After all, you ran away from your meeting with His Highness Charles.”

“I- I didn’t run away!”

I stand up with enough force to topple the chair I’m sitting on, and press Surfania.

“I didn’t run away or anything. In fact, I’m perfectly calm about seeing Charles, so there is no need for me to run away. I simply had a slight fever yesterday, that’s all!”

I’m saying I didn’t run away at all. I’m just trying to avoi- ……no. I’ve simply been unable to see Charles due to unavoidable circumstances. Not a single time have I run away willingly.

“You can’t convince me with that red face and lack of honesty with yourself…… hehehe. Well, you’ve entertained me somewhat. I will not press on any further.”

I can see a glimpse of satisfaction in Surfania’s eyes. That’s the only thing that has newly surfaced in her at times in these past two years. She puts her chin on her fingers in thought without taking much notice of me.

“But, curses, huh…… yes, that’s right. I have a manual for you, Chris.”

“Oh.”

I return to my seat thinking she has a plan, but I get a feeling of deja vu when I see her pull out a book from the shelf. I remember clearly that she has done this before. There is no flaw in my memory as a genius.

“You are sorely mistaken if you think I will be fooled again, Surfania.”

It’s a humiliating and unforgettable memory of a similar situation two years ago. I, Christina Noir, daughter of the Duke, gave in to temptation once and ended up kneeling before a noble of a lower ranking. It’s a part of my past I want to erase.

In fact, there was another occurrence after that incident that was more damaging to my reputation. Surfania deceived me into thinking that entertainment novels could actually become a romance guidebook. I read one in earnest, and mimicked the protagonist’s actions in that book. I practiced being the character in front of Surfania, and as I got better at it, I did it right in front of Charles.

Yes.

I actually did it.

I will avoid going into the details because I simply do not wish to remember it, but it was probably known as my “dark history” in my past life. I probably thought that things would go well. Just remembering it makes me want to pass out in agony. If anything, seeing Michelie’s cheerful face was my saving grace. Since then, it has become increasingly embarrassing to see Charles that I have been avoiding………… I mean, I haven’t had the good fortune to see him.