Chapter 5 (1/2)

Part 1

”... I still can't believe they had lobsters on the menu... Just what kind of school is this?!”

Of course, my question was purely rhetorical, partially because I already knew that the place was completely artificial and thus unbound by common sense, but mostly because there was no one else around to answer. After he stuffed his face full of lobster meat (which he declared tasted like chicken, go figure), Josh left ahead of me while I finished up my own meal, a small serving of lasagna. He told me he wanted to check on Angie and the new girl, and since I didn't have any good reason to hold him back (not to mention, my mouth was too full to answer properly), I let him go without further ado.

There was still a good fifteen minutes left of the one-hour lunch break, which at first sounded excessive, but after seeing the scope of the cafeteria and its dishes I could completely understand the need. Of course, a longer lunch break meant that afternoon classes ended later as well, so the school day would end just after 3:00 PM, but it was only to be expected. Anyways, I finished up my plate and left the cafeteria just a few minutes earlier, and decided on a small detour prior to returning to the classroom.

I rounded another corner and breathed deep in relief as I found myself at the door of the nurse's office. For a second or two I was afraid I got lost again, but it seems I have at least grasped the basic layout of the school. As for why I was here, the class rep told me that the nurse was looking for me, so I decided to get ahead of any possible complications and see him as soon as possible, meaning right then and there.

I lightly knocked on the door and it opened to a crack. Evidently, it wasn't closed properly, so I opened it further as I looked inside.

”Mr...?” Wait, what was his name again? Something about legumes, I think. Ah, right. ”Mr. Peabody?”

”O-ho-ho! Come in, come in!”

It was impossible to mistake the combination of that jovial voice and annoying laughter. I stepped inside and found the old man... well, to be fair, he was probably only middle-aged, but either way, he was sitting by his desk and welcomed me with a smile half-hidden under his mustache.

”You were looking for me.”

”O-ho-ho. Indeed I was.” I sat down on the chair by his side without any prompting. He didn't seem to mind. ”It is about your question from yesterday.”

It took me a moment to realize what he was talking about, but then saying that my interest got piqued would have been an understatement.

”You mean about the amnesia.”

”O-ho-ho. Indeed.”

”Stop that.”

”O-ho-ho. What do you mean?”

”Your laughing. It's... wait, didn't we already have this conversation?”

”O-ho-ho. So you can remember that much. Good, very good.”

By this point, my first rush of curiosity subsided and I started to feel quite uncomfortable, which turned into outright worry the moment I noticed the large rubber mallet on his desk.

”What's that for?”

”O-ho-ho. I sadly couldn't give you an answer yesterday, so I consulted my medical journals and picked the most effective treatment option.”

”A hammer.”

”Indeed! Apparently, all you need is a single good whack on the—”

I stood up and casually left the room before he got even halfway through his spiel, and for a moment I thought he would continue talking without even noticing, but then he called out to me just as I was about to close the door behind myself.

”Wait, where are you going?”

”Classes.”

”But we haven't applied your treatment yet!”

I paused and tried to imitate one of Josh's deadpan glares. I presumably did an inadequate job, as the nurse kept doing practice swings with his hammer.

”Sorry doc, but I already tried that.”

His last swing wilted mid-motion and he gave me a disappointed ‘Oh.' I decided not to stick around, lest he would try to hit me just to be sure, so I gave him a wave and scurried off post-haste. Once I was out of sight I leaned against a wall and sighed. Hard. What a colossal waste of time...

Well, it wasn't like I had high expectations in the first place, but the guy was supposed to be a trained medical professional. I was expecting some questions, or maybe a boring info-dumping session about amnesia littered with Latin terms I would've had to look up later, but I certainly wasn't expecting a friggin' hammer! What is this, Looney Tunes?

I was just about to be on my way back to the classroom when I was caught off guard by a sharp ‘Ha!' coming from behind me. I glanced over my shoulder and found the new girl standing straddle-legged in the middle of the hallway, one hand curled into a fist and placed on her hip while the other extended towards me and ending in an accusatory finger. Needless to say, she was also glaring at me. People around me did that a lot lately. I wonder if that's normal?

Anyways, I suppressed my urge to say something along the lines of ‘Ha what?' and instead I just shook my head and walked up to her.

”Hello.”

She blinked at me, her fierceness slowly faltering, but then she forcefully set her mouth in a thin line and pointed at me again.

”Did you think you could hide from me?!”

I looked left, right, then behind myself and turned back at her with a wry smile.

”Oh no, I have been found out! I was certain no one would find me at my trusty hiding place, a well-populated and open corridor!” I exaggeratedly hit my forehead with the heel of my hand. ”Oh, wait. No, that's the exact opposite of a hiding place. What was I thinking? Oh, the humanity.”

I actually managed to say all that with one breath and without breaking my poker face. I'm not going to lie, I was actually a little proud of that. My accuser out of the blue, on the other hand, seemed more and more flustered by the second.

”Don't try to make a fool out of me!”

‘Why would I? You are making an admirable job yourself!' Well, that was what I wanted to say, but after my pointless meeting with the nurse, I really wasn't in the mood anymore.

”I don't. By the way, could you step to the side? You are holding up everyone.”

She glanced around and it apparently just dawned on her that she was standing in the middle of a crowded corridor. Her face abruptly flushed red and she even let out an admittedly cute yelp as she scampered to the side to let the traffic flow again. I shook my head with a grimace and followed after her.

”So, what is this whole thing about?”

”Don't act innocent!” She hissed at me. While she regained some of her composure, she still seemed pretty flustered to me.

”About what?”

”Your actions!”

”Which one in particular? I do a lot of those.”

She glared at me even more fiercely and I think I even saw her clenched fists trembling.

”Why did you go out of your way to refuse my invitation? What is your agenda?”

”Agenda?”

”Your motive, your plan, your scheme, your—”

”I know what the word means; I just don't know what the hell you are talking about!”

She stomped her feet and leaned in to glower at me from even closer, though since she was almost a head shorter than me, it only worked if I looked down on her. Maybe that annoyed her too?

”You went out of your way to ruin my chance to invite him! Did you really think I wouldn't find it suspicious?!”

”Him?” I parroted after her a touch uncomprehendingly before I realized what she was talking about. ”Oh, you mean Josh?”

”Yes!” She yelled so loud even some of the placeholders turned our way. Maybe they were more susceptible to her because she was a transfer student and was supposed to be interesting? Food for thought. Anyways, she looked around and asked, ”Where is he anyway?”

”Oh, he actually wanted to check on you so he left a few minutes ago.”

All of a sudden all the anger in her face fell away to reveal a dopey expression.

”... What?”

”Josh. He said he wanted to see how you and Angie were doing, so he left the cafeteria ahead of me. Didn't you meet him on the way?” She shook her head. ”Oh well, I guess you missed each other.”

She suddenly began stomping her feet with a growl reminiscent of a revving chainsaw and gave me her most fiery glare yet.

”Why didn't you stop him?!”

For a moment all I could do is to stop myself from burying my face in my hands.

”First you are angry because I went away with him, now you are angry because he is not around anymore? Would you please make up your mind, princess?”

To my sincerest bafflement, she seemed to panic for a moment and jumped back a step. I cocked my head to the side and she nearly poked out my eye as her hand lashed out to point her accusatory finger at me again.

”I knew I heard it right the first time around!”

”You heard the what the when?”

If I sounded completely confused and worn down by the erratic pace of the conversation, it was only because I kept my cool. I was actually screaming in frustration on the inside.

”Why did you call me that? How did you know? Who sent you? Are you here to interfere with my...?”

She kept on asking questions, but I didn't really listen as I was still trying to figure out the answer to the first one. What did I call her again? I replayed our conversation in my head and finally realized.

”Princess?”

She once again let out a weird sound (something along the lines of ‘Yafuu!') and jumped back, looking left and right like a frightened wild animal caught in a corner by a pack of wolves.

”Stop saying that!”

”Why?”

”Because I said so!”

”And that should matter to me because...?”

”Arggh!” She began shaking and her head slowly started to go from beet red to a shade of purple.

That couldn't have been healthy, so I gently patted her on the shoulder and told her, ”Hey, calm down, calm down. Everybody's looking.”

In the span of three seconds, her face went from purple to red to normal to deathly pale as she glanced around and noticed the placeholders staring at us. She then looked at my hand on her shoulder and squeaked again; jumping back so far she was once more standing in the middle of the corridor.

”Y-Y-Youuuuuu!!!”

”Me?”

”I hate you!” She declared while stomping her feet. She did that a lot. ”I hated you from the first time I saw you! You keep getting in my way, you are annoying, and you smell bad!”

”Well, excuuuuse me, princess!” I answered with a frown of my own as I folded my arms.

She let out another yelp and before I knew it she was already sprinting down the corridor, pushing the placeholders aside like an angry bull on the streets of Pamplona. She rounded a corner... then a few seconds later she poked her torso around the same corner, pointed at me angrily, and then yelled, ”This is not over yet! I will get you for this!”

In response to her declaration of war, I simply rolled my eyes, raised my hands to my mouth to form a funnel, and answered, ”Whatever you say, princess!”

She nearly fell out of the corner with another squeal but caught herself at the last moment, glared at me one last time, and then promptly ran away. Again. Once I was sure she wasn't coming back for another bout I dropped my shoulders in exasperation and groaned hard enough to make my throat hurt. Yep, definitely a tsundere.

My return to the classroom suffered no further setbacks and I arrived a good five minutes before the next lesson started. Josh and Angie were already (or still?) talking by my desk while the princess was nowhere to be found. That was odd, but I didn't really mind at the moment.

I waved to the guys, who were arguing about whether a lobster or some kind of rare beef tasted better, and plopped down onto my chair, ready to record my previous discoveries in my notebook. Then I remembered something and turned to Josh instead.

”Hey guys, got a sec?”

”Hm?” He and Angie both looked at me curiously. ”Yes?”

”Guys, give it to me straight. Do I smell weird?”

The two of them gave me sardonic looks that were mirror images of each other. If synchronized deadpan was an actual sport, these two would have had a head start towards the Olympic gold. At last, Angie leaned closer and took a whiff.

”Hmmm... No, not particularly.” She took another whiff and suddenly she perked up. ”Oh, wait... is that citrus? I actually kinda like that.”

”Probably my shampoo,” I answered a tad absent-mindedly.

”Why do you ask?”

”Nah, just checking.”

It was about this time that the princess entered the classroom with a huff and a puff. She sent me a glare when our eyes met, but then she averted her gaze, strutted over to her desk, and sat down without even acknowledging my existence.

I didn't really mind, but I couldn't help but wonder where she had been. She left before me but arrived later, and judging by her heaving, she must've been running for a while... Oh well, maybe she just got lost. She was as new to the place as I was, so it wouldn't have been unusual if she took a wrong turn somewhere and couldn't find her way back. I mean, it's not like everything had to have some deeper narrative meaning. Sometimes simple explanations can work too... Right?

Part 2

The afternoon classes were exactly the same as the morning classes in practically every regard. Once again all the lessons were taught by Mrs. Applebottom, I once again had to struggle to catch up to the curriculum, I once again spent all the breaks with the gang, and I generally had a fair amount of fun.

Well, okay, on second thought there was a slight difference. In the morning the girl sitting right in front of me didn't seem to be aware of me, while at this point she was actively trying to deny my entire existence. At least when she wasn't sending death-glares my way, anyway. There was little functional difference though, so it didn't really change my school life experience.

It was exactly at three in the afternoon when the final lesson ended with the ring of the familiar Big Ben chime and the entire class erupted with noise, completely disregarding that the teacher was still in the room. Not that she minded, as she only bothered to finish her last sentence about the geopolitical tensions that led to the First World War before she just snapped her book shut and marched out the door. It wasn't even a complete paragraph, for crying out loud! That's a placeholder for you, I guess.

I stretched on my chair and also began to pack my bag when Angie sneaked up to my desk.

”Hey, Leo? Wanna go home together?”

I blinked at the directness of the question and sent a sneaky glance at Josh. My friend gave me an amicable smile, but then he finally realized the reason behind my hesitation and cut in with a cough.

”Just until the crossing, of course.”

”Yeah, of course,” Angie nodded twice.

”Then sure. Let me grab my stuff and I meet you at the lockers.”

”Oh~kay!” Angie giggled and all but dragged Josh out through the door. She seemed to be in high spirits. It suited her.

It was only then that I realized that the two exiting the stage left me alone with the princess, but when I cautiously looked around, she was nowhere to be found. Where did she go? And when? She must've left while I was paying attention to Josh, but that was like, what? Three seconds? Did she jump out the window during that time or what?

I shook my head and stood up. Don't look the gift horse in the mouth, they say. If this way I could avoid another round of awkward and annoying comedy play, I was not complaining. I walked down the rows while dodging the other students when my eyes were caught by the class rep still sitting at her desk. It looked like her bag was already packed and she was just calmly staring ahead of herself without a word. I hesitated for a moment, but then I had an idea and decided to call out to her.

”Hey there, class rep.”

She shuddered and looked up at me like I startled her even though I walked up to her right in her line of sight.

”Oh... Hello Leo. Can I help you?”

”I really hope so.”

Once she confirmed I had business with her, the tension visibly escaped from her shoulders. I had a niggling suspicion since this morning, and this moment only reinforced it: while it didn't really show when she was performing her duties, she was a bit socially awkward when it came to small talk. It wasn't to the degree where she would be considered shy, but she definitely looked uncomfortable while she had to talk with people when it wasn't about schoolwork.

Anyways, she looked at me with expectant eyes, so I cleared my throat.

”Say, class rep?”

She suddenly puckered her brows and interrupted me.

”Why are you calling me that?”

”Because you are the class rep. Anyways,” I continued before she could interject again, ”I wanted to ask you if you could lend me your notes.”

She blinked at me in surprise.

”Don't you have yours?”

”Sorry, I wasn't clear enough. I meant last year's notes.”

She blinked twice this time and even frowned a little.

”I... I am not sure I still have them,” she faltered. ”Why do you need them?”

”Well...” I deliberately scratched the back of my head before I plied with, ”You see, last year I transferred fairly late, so I didn't have to worry about it too much, but I am not sure we had the exact same curriculum in my old school. I want to make sure I don't miss anything that might be on future tests, so I wanted to borrow your notes so I can cross-reference things.”

”That's... actually very diligent of you,” she told me with an approving smile.

”Thanks,” I answered with a chuckle. ”Could I also ask you to give me some pointers? Only if it wouldn't be too much trouble, of course.”

”Naturally. I will see if I can find my notebooks and I'll gladly help if you have any questions.”

”Thank you very much.” After this exchange, we stayed perfectly still in the empty classroom for several seconds. It was getting really awkward, so I lightly cleared my throat. ”Say, aren't you going home yet?”

”In a minute,” she told me with a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. Then it was silence again.

”Do you... want to go home together?”

Her eyes fluttered wide open for just a moment.

”You and me?”

”Um... who else? Plus Josh and Angie too, of course.”

”Oh...” The class rep averted her gaze with an awkward smile. ”I see. It's been a while, so I was caught off-guard.”

”So, are you coming?”

”Sure,” she immediately declared with a nod and stood up.

I patiently waited for her to pack her bag and we finally left the classroom side by side. We quickly reached the stairs leading to the main hall and I couldn't help but smile all the way. I was bothered by my lagging behind the others academically all day, and while it was something of a whim, having the class rep's notes would surely help me catch up to the others. Originally I wanted to ask Josh, but this was obviously the smarter idea. No offense to the guy, he wasn't dumb by a long shot, but there was just no competition.

We reached the shoe lockers in no time. Josh and Angie were already by the entrance and waving, though the girl had a question mark written over her face when she noticed the class rep at my side.

”I'll be with you in a moment!” I yelled over to them, but they probably couldn't hear it properly over the noise the other departing placeholders made, and so they walked over to me instead. Oh well, it didn't make much of a difference in the long run.

”Is Ammy with you?” Josh asked once he was within earshot.

”Yeah. She looked a little lonely, so I decided to invite her along. Is there a problem?”

Josh grinned at the class rep, who was currently busy studying her own shoelaces like her life depended on it, and he shook his head.

”Nah, the more the merrier, right, Angie?”

”Yeah.”

She didn't seem as enthusiastic about going home together as before, but she still managed to sound cheerful enough. In the meantime, the class rep broke off from the group to find her own shoe locker and so did I. I opened the cabinet and as I did so a small piece of white paper flew out with the draft.

I was too surprised to react fast enough, and by the time I recovered it, Angie already took note.

”What do you have there?” she asked on her tiptoes, trying to get a better look.

”Nothing in particular. Just a piece of paper.”

The girl's eyes suddenly glinted mischievously and she waved to the others.

”Guys, come quick! Leo just got a love letter!”

I aimed a barbed look at her but she only gave me a toothy smile in return.

”A love letter?” Josh arrived first and he started to rise onto his toe-tips to get a better look as well. It didn't really occur to me before, but I was actually the tallest person in the group by far. Using my newly discovered physical superiority I raised the paper high over my head and silently glared at the others to express my disapproval. After a few seconds, they finally got the message and stood down.

”Is there a problem?” The class rep looked around one of the large lockers with a quizzical expression.

”Leo just got a love letter,” Angie repeated, and to my sincerest surprise, the class rep immediately walked over and grabbed hold of the two gawkers.

”Let's give him some privacy then.”

She began dragging away the two and I just had to wonder how great the difference was between her normal mode and her authority mode. Still, she didn't have to go that far.

”Wait, you really don't have to do that.” She looked back at me questioningly and I waved the letter in my hand. ”It obviously isn't for me.”

”How can you be sure?” Josh asked.

”I can't but...”

”Then read it already!” Angie demanded with hungry eyes and finally gave in.

I took a deep breath, raised the piece of paper to eye level and began scanning the lines. I nodded once or twice for good measure and as soon as I finished I let out the breath I was holding in as a shallow sigh.

”What?”

”Just as I said,” I told them as I pocketed the piece of paper. ”It is actually for a girl. The poor guy must've been really nervous and put the letter into the wrong shoebox.”

”Oh...” Angie was deflated for a second, but then she perked up again. ”What are you going to do?”

”What else? The letter said the girl should meet him behind the school, so I should go there and give back the letter. Otherwise, he might think he got rejected.”

”Aing anymore...” Her voice trailed off into mumbles, and after a second of hesitation, Josh smiled warmly at her and grabbed her arm.

”Don't worry about it.”

”Yeah!” Angie agreed with a huge nod and grabbed hold of her other arm. ”It's been ages since we last hung out together anyway!”

”Back in middle school?” Josh turned to her and Angie nodded again. ”Now that you mention it... Wow, it has really been a while.”

”Let's make it count then!” Angie declared and began pulling the nervous class rep, who in turn had Josh trailing behind her. They waved to me one last time before they left the building, which I obviously returned with a smile, and off they went. I made a mental note about how the childhood friends and the class rep apparently went way back, but I shelved the thought in favor of the more immediate issue.

I took out the letter and read it one more time. It was probably obvious already, but it wasn't written by a guy. In fact, I pretty much lied through my teeth from beginning to end, though I had a good reason for that; this wasn't a letter of love, but one of challenge.

‘I hereby challenge you to honorable duel with the purpose of settling our feud. I request your presence at the rooftop after school hours. Fail to show yourself, and you shall be forever known as a despicable knave and a coward. Signed, Eleanor Dracis.'

I tried, I really did, but there was just no way I could do this without actually facepalming, and thus I soon found my head buried in my hand. It was strangely relaxing. But alas, having my head buried in the proverbial sand wouldn't have solved much of my problems, so after I was sure that the trio was out of the gates I took to the stairs and began marching towards what promised to be a giant pain in the ass.

Part 3

A loud, metallic bang.

”Come on!”

A long, violent rattle.

”Open up!”

The sound of several kicks landing on a door.

”Argh! I can't believe this is happening!”

While all of this was going on I stood quietly behind the bend of the stairs leading up to the roof access door and was massaging my temples in exasperation. I mean, I wasn't expecting much in the first place, but the sight before me was just sad.

I was well out of view, but I held my breath for a moment as the princess looked over in my direction. After she decided I wasn't coming yet she began angrily stomping up and down in front of the door again like an enraged bull.

I suppose I better explain how the current situation came about, right? But then again, there actually wasn't much to elaborate on; the situation kind of spoke for itself. But then again...

”Open, open, open!”

The princess began kicking the door again and for a moment I couldn't decide what to groan about; her display of uncalled violence upon inanimate objects or her strange need to speak out all her thoughts aloud. I decided to go with the former, as I realized I have already been baffled by her monologing when I first came to the stairs. At first I even thought she might've noticed me and was putting up a show, but the longer I observed her, the less likely that sounded.

Still, at this rate something would get broken, either the door or her feet, and I was too tired to deal with either of those on top of all my problems, so I took a deep breath, steeled my nerves, stuck my hands into my pockets and began walking up the stairs as casually as I could manage.

Unexpectedly, I got no reaction. She just kept kicking the door like I wasn't even there. How rude. Anyhow, I loudly cleared my throat to get her attention, and she finally stopped her first-degree battery and assault upon the poor entrance. She didn't say anything though, just froze mid-motion.

The silence stretched for a while until I got tired of waiting and cleared my throat again before directly addressing her.

”I'm sorry to bring bad news, but you cannot go up there.”

”And why is that?” she hissed back at me over her shoulder.

”Because... it's locked?” I stated the obvious.

”It's your doing, isn't it?”

”What's my doing?”

”The door!” she pointed at it, then me, then at the door again as if she couldn't decide who to accuse.

”... So let me see if I got this straight: You think that I somehow not only found out that you wanted to ask me to come here, even though I never had any chances to find your letter, but I had somehow got here before you, even though you left the classroom before me, rushed up here, somehow locked the door, and then ran away and hid for no reason whatsoever?”

”If you put it like that...” She wavered for a moment, but then she whipped her hand to the back and pointed at the door. ”But then how do you explain that!?”

”That's always closed.”

”Don't take me for a fool! The girl already took me up here today!”

”The girl...? Ah, you mean Angie?” I was actually a little surprised by this. I thought she asked to meet me on the roof because that was the stereotypical thing to do, but apparently she did so because it was a place she already knew. ”Yeah, they only open the door during lunch break.”

”Oh.” Color me damned, she actually looked crestfallen for a second.

”Don't worry about it. You just transferred, you couldn't have known.”

”H-H-How dare you!? I don't need your comforting!”

It was at this point that the princess, nostrils flaring and shaking her fist, began teetering on the edge of the steps. If I had time to do so, I would have facepalmed. I wasn't surprised though. I mean, what else was I supposed to expect in this situation? The whole 'pretty girl falls onto the hapless guy on the stairs and he accidentally cups a feel for comedic effect' thing was old as dirt and was so obviously telegraphed it was almost painful.

However, since I was expecting it, I already made my preparations. By the time she began to lose her balance I was already moving, dashing up the steps two at a time. Her eyes widened in shock and she flailed her hands defensively which, surprise-surprise, only made her tip over completely.

She didn't fall though. With one last leap, I reached her, ducked under her arms, grabbed her by the waist, and raised her off her feet before she could gather momentum. She let out a surprisingly cute squeak and froze in what I presumed was shock, her feet ineffectually dangling in the air under her.

She was... Well, I wouldn't say she was heavy per se, but she was heavier than I expected. Even more surprisingly, I had no problem holding her up. I saw myself in the mirror, I knew I had some muscle, but seeing it in action was something else.

Speaking of muscle, she was also harder than I expected. Girls were supposed to be soft, right? Not her, apparently. Maybe I just wasn't grabbing the right place (nor did I have any inclination to do so at the moment), but her side and stomach felt as hard as a pumped tire. Maybe she was working out?

Anyways, while I was pondering these kinds of things she just kept staring at me without moving a muscle. It felt pretty awkward, so I decided to put her down. First I needed better footing though, so I stepped up to the top of the staircase and gently placed her onto her feet, making sure she wasn't about to tumble down again.

”You...” Still looking like a mannequin set in an awkward pose, the princess gave me a look halfway between fury and wonder, so... Furnder?

”Me?” I prodded her after she refused to continue for a minute.

”... caught me.”

I nodded with a smile.

”I'm in awe of your astute skills of observation.”

”Why?”

I made sure to give her a sour look long enough for her to realize how displeased I was with the absurdity of her question, but she just kept gazing at me furnderingly. Or was it furnderously? Coming up with new words is hard work.

The point is, I raised my hand and swiftly flicked her right in the middle of the forehead. She let out another cutesy sound and clasped her hands over the point of impact, finally breaking her out of the mannequin routine.

”Would you please start using proper sentences?”

”You hit me!” She yelled at me from only a couple dozen centimeters away.

”That's a start, though I expected something more elaborate. B minus.”

”You. Hit. Me!” She yelled each word separately for emphasis.