Chapter 24 (1/2)

Part 1

How did the saying go? Out of the frying pan, into the fire? Times like this made me think we needed a more severe version of that. Like, ‘Out of the burning airplane without a parachute and into the blast of a nuclear bomb'. The only problem with it was that, with my luck, I would end up in an even bigger mess afterward and I'd have to come up with an even more severe expression, and then another one, and another one ad infinitum.

I took a sharp breath through my nostrils and tried to forget about my problems with linguistic serial escalation and focused on the more tangible problem at hand. So, I was standing in the slowly dissolving remains of a shape-shifting monster in front of the portal leading to this universe's equivalent of the underworld. Those were the neutral news.

As for the bad ones... First off, I was alone. I was also face to face with Crowey, an Abyssal noble of considerable power whom I already antagonized in the past without knowing a thing about him. What was new?

I quickly scanned the area around the gate, and to my sincere surprise, I only found three people there. I already mentioned Crowey. The other two were Snowy in her disturbingly skimpy succubus fetish attire and Josh. Oddly enough, Snowy was the one showing less skin out of the two of them, as my friend was only dressed in his underpants. Was that how he slept or was he taken after showering? Also, was it just me, or was the guy surprisingly ripped?

Not that it mattered. Also, I have to insert another correction here: the briefs weren't the only thing on him, as both his arms and legs were tied up with thin, semi-transparent glowing chains. Some kind of spell, I surmised.

When he finally noticed me, he tried to yell something, but his mouth was also tied shut by a series of similar chains around his head and jaws, so I could only hear a series of muffled noises coming from him.

”I have to say, I'm surprised.”

I blinked at the words and almost uttered a baffled ‘What?' before I regained my wits and swallowed it down before it left my mouth. Right, I was talking to Crowey, wasn't I? Time once again escaped me while I was analyzing my desperate situation, and while it subjectively felt like ages passed since I landed on a cushion of gooified Chimera remains, it happened at most a couple of seconds ago.

What was my plan again? Oh, right. I didn't actually come up with anything yet, did I? I supposed that meant it was time to return to my fallback plan and continue playing charades. I forced a terribly amicable grin onto my face and looked Crowey right in the eye.

I found him standing in a very relaxed manner, his hands hidden in the pockets of his expensive grey suit and his eyes looking down on me with the distant haughtiness of nobility. Actually, that was the right word. All he needed was a lacquered walking staff and a top hat and he would have passed for a turn-of-the-century noble in a period piece talking to a stable boy. I could've sworn he looked way more startled and openly hostile when I arrived, so I probably wasn't the only one playing mind-games.

Speaking of which, I wondered which angle would buy me the most time? Mock politeness? I was past that. Groveling? Fat chance. A display of confidence? ... Let's go with that?

”You are surprised?” I asked with a mincing smile as I tried to pull the spear out. It was stuck, and I didn't want him to see me struggle with it, so instead I leaned on it to maintain my laidback image and told him, ”Imagine how surprised I was when I learned that you sent your underling to deal with me instead of doing it yourself. I was quite disappointed.”

”I see...” Crowey mused with an inscrutable expression. ”So sending the scout general was insufficient.” Suddenly his face twisted in a facsimile of a haughty smile. ”I suppose I shouldn't be surprised.”

”Well, duh,” I told him with a shrug as I stepped off the steadily melting remains I was standing in. As I did so, there was a sudden stabbing pain in my left leg. I didn't dare to look, or even twitch, but I was pretty sure I at least sprained that ankle, if not outright dislocated it. I hid my pained gasp in a tired-sounding groan. Well, there went my plan for walking up and down while giving a filibuster to buy time. I shook my head and continued with, ”He put up a good fight, but as the saying goes; you do not send a Faun to do an Abyssal's job.”

The smile slowly evaporated from the sharply dressed man's face and got replaced with a scowl.

”It is the way of the Abyss to have our minions act in our stead. Don't presume to lecture me, cur.”

”Really now? From where I am standing, all I can see is a bad boss sending his subordinate on a mission they had no chance at succeeding and now trying to cover his own ass. In your case, I suppose that would also mean your face.”

Crowey visibly twitched at my remark.

”Are these crass insults all you have?”

”Depends. Do I really need anything else when faced with such incompetence?”

”Incompetence? You call this incompetence?” At this point, Crowey finally removed his gloved hands from his pockets and theatrically opened his arms. ”I found the Herald of the Emperor. I drafted the plans for the impenetrable barrier surrounding this field, and I have opened a gate to the Abyss in the heart of the power of the Magi! You call this incompetent?!”

”Yes, yes. Very impressive,” I spoke with a mocking smile in the corner of my mouth. ”Except for the part where it was your sister who found him, she made the barrier, and you only managed to open your gate because none of the Magi are home at the moment. If I were you, I wouldn't brag about it like that.”

”What do you know? I timed my departure on the day of the Wingless One's Gathering on purpose! My plan was foolproof!”

”Was,” I pointed out with a single finger raised. ”It was foolproof until you sent your scout general after me. Think about it; if you were content with just leaving me alone, then I would've never heard about your kidnapping plot and would have no reason to come here to ruin your plans.” He didn't need to know I got wind of this situation from his sister, so I kept it out of my story. I still sent a knowing glance at the girl, then added, ”In short, you ruined your own plans because your wounded pride just couldn't let you leave me alone. But don't worry about it. Please, keep monologuing to your heart's content about how great your plans are. You still have about... say... fifteen minutes before your portal closes.”

I wasn't just taunting him, I was really hoping that he would continue talking. I also hoped that the girls were already on their way to my side, and while I could always check with Fair Sight, doing so was distracting, and I could never know when Crowey would try and attack me. I also couldn't run, so I had my teleportation ability primed in case of an emergency, but considering how battered I was both physically and mentally, I wasn't entirely sure I could escape on my own even by using it. If only it had some long-range applications...

A long beat of silence stretched between us for a couple of seconds. I had a sneaking suspicion that Crowey already realized that I was trying to buy time by taunting him, which was made more evident by the way he was scanning the perimeter of the portal. A few more nerve-wracking seconds later, Crowey's lips stretched into a thin, wolfish smile, followed by a soft chuckle.

”I see... I see... You are right. I really shouldn't have sent a Faun to do an Abyssal's job.”

The words sent a cold shiver down my spine. ‘I probably went too far with the taunting', I noted with the familiar detachment that at this point felt like a prelude of imminent danger, and I mentally screamed at my companions to drag their shapely behinds over to my side already. I focused all my attention on Crowey for now, preparing for an attack that could come at any moment.

Contrary to my expectations, the guy slowly, deliberately slid his hands into his pockets again, his dark eyes still glaring at me with an intensity that would've made water boil faster. Then he tilted his head to the side and ordered, ”Sister. Kill him.”

I silently gulped as my eyes darted over to Snowy. Up until this moment, she was guarding the incapacitated Josh, but upon being called, she visibly shuddered and straightened her back. There was a flash of light coming off her neck and she took a tentative step forward. The second one was a bit steadier, and by the time she took the third, her gait became an exaggerated, hip-swinging strut. I wanted to roll my eyes at the display, but I didn't dare to take my eyes off her even for a split second. As she drew closer a pair of long claws made of crystalline ice condensed out of thin air and attached themselves to her thin right forearm. They were about forty centimeters long and reminded me of a raptor's talons. In some way, they were almost beautiful, yet extremely scary.

”I'm sorry darling,” she whispered with a voice that was phasing in and out of her vamp persona. ”I told you not to get involved. I told you to stay home.” Suddenly her voice cracked and she repeated ”I'm sorry,” in a near sob.

I had a feeling this was the moment when I was supposed to say something meaningful. Something about it not being her fault, or that she didn't have to do this, or something even sappier. I don't know if it was fortunate or not, but I never had the chance to utter a single word.

”Uwooooooh!”

First, there was a strange battle-cry, then a dark shape dashed in from the left and tackled Snowy off her feet. She let out a surprised cry followed by a similarly surprised grunt coming from the direction of Crowey as a series of glowing arrows impacted on a honeycomb-patterned purple barrier around him. He still stumbled back, more from the suddenness of the attack than from the impacts, and he hastily threw out his hands. The barrier suddenly flared even brighter, its surface covered in a series of incredibly complicated magic circles illuminating the area even further. It was weird looking at it. I've seen magic before as tendrils or an indistinct glow, but this was the first time I saw something this complex.

Then the light faded once again as a large silhouette I vaguely recognized as the class rep's golem rushed in and tackled him, pushing him away even as the barrier held the stone familiar from actually touching him. In the meantime, Snowy kicked off her assailant and the princess landed on her back right me. A moment later she was on her feet again, tail whipping and eyes glinting dangerously in the twilight.

It was at this point that my brain caught up with the situation and I let out a small gasp before I pointed my finger forwards and yelled, ”Angie! Get Josh while they are incapacitated!”

”On it!” came a strained voice from above. I glanced up and saw a pair of glowing wings in the darkness descending upon Josh, who was still standing rigid and upright like he was tied to a pole. Angie swooped down like a giant bird of prey. The wings covered him for a second and then with a loud ‘whoosh' they both rose into the air. Their not-so-majestic flight only lasted for a couple of seconds, as they rapidly lost altitude and the two of them more-or-less crashed into the ground a few meters behind me.

”Joshua! Angie!” The panicked voice of the class rep reassured me that she was nearby as well, though I still couldn't see her. Bonfire-blindness, I surmised. We were all standing around the portal long enough so that our eyes adjusted to it, and thus we were blinded to the area outside its glow. The girls used it to their advantage to position themselves around us for an ambush. It was clever. I made a mental note to give a pat on the back to whichever one of them came up with the tactic.

But back to the rapidly unfolding events: I tried to take a step towards the sprawled-out Celestial girl and my still tied-up friend, but I stumbled and might've even fallen down if my assistant didn't rush to my side and support me with her shoulder. A moment later we both shook as the princess grabbed hold of my other arm and pulled me up.

”Are you all right?” Judy asked with the kind of frantic worry I would have never expected to hear in her voice.

”I'm fine, it's just my—” I glanced down at my unruly leg and the sight had the words trapped in my throat. It wasn't just sprained as I thought; my jeans from the knee down were covered in a thick black liquid that I recognized as coagulating blood. ‘Oh right,' I realized with a slight alarm. ‘I was bitten by the Chimera's tail.'

Maybe I didn't feel it because of some kind of venom? Its tail was supposed to be a snake, wasn't it? There were a lot of questions and observations whirling in my head for a moment, but I pushed them all aside for the time being and only uttered a flat ”Huh.”

”What?” Elly asked with a hint of anxiety in her voice as she followed my gaze and promptly paled.

”Nothing,” I stressed with a smile I hoped was at least a little reassuring as I put some weight on my feet again, ignoring the pain. ”We should check on Josh before—”

Right at this moment, my insides were shaken by a deafening rumble, disorienting me for a moment. When I got my bearings in order again, I figured that the new layer of gravel covering the ground in front of the portal meant that the golem couldn't hold back Crowey for too long.

Speaking of the man, everyone's favorite Abyssal asshole let out a frustrated groan and bellowed, ”That's enough! Where are the minions!?” He looked around, but there was no one else coming. At last, his eyes found me and, with a continued flair for the dramatic, the guy raised a hand and pointed at me with all fingers spread. ”Enough with the games! Sister, kill them all!”

From the corner of my eyes, I saw another flare of magical light, but as I wanted to glance over, the hairs on the back of my neck abruptly stood on ends. It was the familiar feeling of incoming danger, and my body was instinctively trying to get out of the way... except I couldn't, as both the princess and Judy were holding onto me.

With the sense of mortal danger growing even greater by the moment, a corner of my mind screamed at me to drop onto the ground lest I would die... but an even louder part reminded me that I wasn't alone, and while I could let go of the two girls, it would put them into harm's way instead. So I did something stupid. Truly shocking, I know.

Instead of getting out of the way, I went right against whatever instinct told my body to move and did the exact opposite, moving towards danger instead of away from it. Mind you, I still couldn't see the danger we were talking about, but that didn't stop me from acting.

Then there was a soft thud that shook my entire body, followed by a searing pain that raced through my nerves so hard it felt like my whole world was ablaze for a moment. Then there was only white, and nothing else.

Part 2

Two seconds. That's how long I was unconscious after receiving an ice-spike in my abdomen. It punctured my skin, the muscles underneath, passed through my abdominal wall, and was wedged between the curves of my small intestines, its sharp end poking out through my back. I grunted with amusement as I noted that it passed through me without hitting any vital organs or veins. I don't know why I found that amusing. It wasn't. It hurt like hell.

I put my irrational thoughts aside and looked around. Time was once again running in slow motion. How peculiar, I thought. I could see the princess roaring at my side as she faced off against Snowy. I could see the young Abyssal girl stare at me with wide-open eyes, the corners of her mouth slowly trembling. I saw my dear assistant's wild eyes as she looked at the spear of ice sticking out of my side with abject horror. I saw all of them. They felt so close yet so far away. I feared that if I reached out and touched them, they would dissolve like mirages in the summer air.

I distantly noted how my thought patterns felt weird. Weirder than usual, at any rate. Was that because I was dying? Was I dying? I didn't know. It didn't feel like I was about to die, but then again, I had a large piece of glassy ice stuck in my stomach, as thick as my index and middle fingers put together. People tended to die from things like that.

I could feel my mouth twist in a sardonic smile. I figured this was the moment when I had to reflect on my past. Was I supposed to do that? It felt natural, so I thought I might as well give it a shot.

So, where to begin? Mistakes were made. I do not mean this whole ‘being skewered' business. That was a good thing. Well, for a certain measure of ‘good'. If I didn't get in its way, it would have hit Judy in the chest instead, and if I dragged her out of the way, it would have hit Josh on the ground behind us. I didn't know how I actually knew this, but I sounded convincing, so I decided to believe my words.

So yeah, getting impaled was the good choice I made. Everything else though? Just one giant, unmitigated chain of disasters barely avoided by the skin of my teeth. Why is it that hindsight always made me feel so dumb?

I glanced around again to take my mind off the steadily intensifying self-loathing when I noticed something peculiar. Snowy's choker, the one I made note of a couple of times in the past, was shining. That light was strangely familiar, like I have seen it just recently. I sifted through my memories and made the connection: it was the same kind of light I saw just before the attack that had me in my currently punctured state. It was easy to recognize. It wasn't the color per se, it was more like a... texture, for the lack of better words. I had actually seen it once before, when Snowy first tried to attack me. What was the common thing about those two situations?

She was ordered to do so by her brother; I concluded. I squinted to take a better look, and my vision blurred for a second, then it came back into focus. It was only for a moment, but I felt like I glimpsed the true form of the light surrounding Snowy's neck. It was... a spell? Magic? I didn't know the right word for it. I decided to call it ‘enchantment' for the time being. The glimpse that I saw told me a lot of things about the enchantment. It felt like I was looking at programming code, but at the same time not. It was more... organic. It wasn't binary or based on mathematics, more like... I don't know. I had nothing else to compare it to but itself.

What was it then? I followed its trigger, which was represented by a thin, almost invisible string attached to the angrily shouting black-haired young man on the side. I stared at him, and the longer I did so, the more I could feel anger building up inside my chest. It was a black, sticky kind of anger, pure unadulterated loathing so strong it made me feel physically ill. Right, I thought. I cannot die yet. Someone has to take care of this mess and get rid of this guy.

Thinking so, I took a deep breath, my chest no longer restrained by the lazy ebb of time, gritted my teeth, and focused all my will into a single exhalation.

Part 3

There was a moment of nausea when I came to my senses as time resumed its normal flow. I found myself supported by Judy, her still horrified face dressed in a crimson light. The source of said light was coming from the princess, or rather the growing ball of eldritch power swirling in front of her mouth.

I only had a split-second to act. I ignored the searing pain and my assistant's distant protests as I lurched forwards to stand tall on my feet. I drew in a heavy breath between clenched teeth and let it all out in a bellow that shook my insides.

”Elly!” The princess stumbled when she heard my voice and for a moment the ball of power was about to blink out of existence, so I hastily continued, ”Don't stop! Aim for the asshole! He is the one in control!”

Credit where credit's due, the princess didn't as much as bat an eye at my order. There were no whats or whys, she just grunted in acknowledgment, faced the Abyssal lord, and let out a roar that had no business coming out of a teenage girl's throat. Even though it happened in an instant I could swear I caught a glimpse of Crowey's face slackening in shock before he raised both his hands and the magical barrier from before sprung to life once again.

The beam of crimson light streaming forth from the princess's attack hit Crowey's barriers like a jet of water would hit a rock, spraying ground-melting droplets of dragonfire around the area with dangerous abandon. It was pretty to look at, but it didn't penetrate, and that was a problem.

”Don't hold back!” I shouted as loud as I could to overcome the sound of the princess's wave motion dragon breath. ”I know you can do it! Roar!”

I had no idea whether she could even hear me, but the lionesque rumble accompanying the attack dropped an octave and the stream of power abruptly changed color, from an angry crimson to a brilliant golden light so bright and intense it hurt my eyes. I looked anyways, without blinking. I wanted to see it, and my expectations were met with flying colors.

The moment the golden stream hit Crowey's barrier, it shattered like an egg under a hammer. There was a second layer, but it didn't fare any better. The princess's dragon fire peeled layer after layer like a sledgehammer would peel an onion, and even though I couldn't hear it over the deafening noise, I was sure the man was howling in anguish. The whole process only lasted a second at best until the last vestige of the purple light around Crowey exploded with a pitiful pop and the torrent of raw magical force washed over him, sending his prone body flying through the air like a ragdoll engulfed in golden flames. Just like that, he disappeared from sight as he got outside of the glow of the portal.

All in all, while it only lasted for a few seconds, I was sure I just witnessed something I would remember for the rest of my life. I was about to praise the draconic girl at my side, but the alarm bells in my head started ringing the moment I laid my eyes on her.

”Judy, grab Elly.”

”But you—”

”Don't argue,” I stated forcefully. ”Prop her up, quick.”

My assistant might've been rattled by the events, but she was still as efficient as ever. Without any further ado, she circled around me and grabbed hold of the heaving girl's shoulders. It was just in time, as a moment later the princess' trembling legs gave out and she nearly dragged both of them to the ground. Thanks to Judy's support, they remained standing, albeit barely.

”Are you all right?” I asked.

The princess looked up. I could see her brows tense in pain and there was a trickle of blood in the corner of her mouth, but she forced a smile onto her face.

”Heh... I must look really bad if the guy with the icicle in his stomach is worried about me.”

Her voice was hoarse, but considering that she had the energy to be snappy with me I figured she was fine. Her words however reminded me of another problem. I glanced down and found that the ice spear was still snugly lodged inside my abdomen. Curiously enough, it didn't really hurt anymore. Or rather there was an unpleasant, throbbing sensation in my stomach where I could see it sticking out of me, and when I looked down I could see that I was standing in a pool of dark liquid that I figured had to be blood, but it didn't really hurt. I wasn't sure I was supposed to be relieved or worried about it, or the fact that my head felt surprisingly clear in spite of the apparent blood loss. Or maybe it was because of the blood loss? Either way, I had to do something about it before Crowey got back up.

I looked over my shoulder and quickly found the rest of the group. Josh was still lying on the ground with his limbs bound by glowing chains, his eyes frantically darting between the two girls leaning over him. They both seemed to be in the process of casting a spell or five, and while I recognized that getting Josh out of his bondage was high-priority, delaying it a little for my own continued survival seemed like a fair trade.

”Angie, come over here for a second!”

The celestial girl looked up from Josh and her eyes opened wide in shock. A moment later she pretty much scampered over to my side and fell onto her knees before me.

”Oh no... Nonononono...” She reached out towards the ice spike with trembling fingers but pulled her hand away before they got anywhere close to it like she was touching a hot stove. ”I... I thought she missed! I didn't see!”

”Angie, look at me,” I waited for her to raise her face and looked her in the eye before I continued. ”I need you to calm down. Panicking won't help.”

For a second she was obviously struggling with her nerves. She forcefully calmed her breathing and gave me a slight nod.

”All right. You can use healing magic. Do you have anything potent enough to fix this?”

”I... I don't know. I never healed a wound like that, only scratches and sprains.”

”Could you try? Just patch me up enough so that I could move around. I don't care about scarring, just stop the bleeding.”

”I can try but... if I mess up you could die.”

”Same goes if you don't try. I'll take my chances.”

Angie's face twisted in anguish like she was the one with perforated guts.

”A-All right... First, we have to remove the object. Slowly. Then...”

”NOOOOOOOO!!!”

All of us shuddered at the sudden wail of anguish and all eyes were glued on the Abyssal girl on the ground. I mentally kicked myself in the head for forgetting about her even for a second, and the sight made it even worse. She sat on the ground like a marionette with its strings cut and wailed with a vacant look in her eyes. And that's when it started. First, it was just a light breeze, then a squall, then all of a sudden we were in the middle of a snowstorm. It all happened so fast my body didn't even register the sudden drop in temperature until a few seconds later, but then I shuddered as the cold wind cut to my bones.

I didn't pay it much heed though, as my attention was firmly held by the veritable geyser of light emanating from the girl. Even with my non-existent magical knowledge, I could tell that wasn't normal.

”What the hell is happening?” I yelled over my shoulder to the person I hoped actually knew the answer.

”She's...” Ammy rep began to answer, but then she stopped to shield Josh from the worst of the sudden blizzard before she continued. ”She is burning her soul!”

”I am not an expert, but that sounds bad!” I yelled over the howling wind.

”If she continues, she is going to die!” she answered, and though I couldn't hear it properly, I was fairly certain she muttered ”... and so do we.” at the end.

”Okay, Angie, change of plans. Just make sure I don't bleed out for the time being.”

The Celestial girl gave me a huge node, and she began frantically humming something that sounded like a jazz-tune with her blood-stained hands covering my wound. I raised a single brow at the sight. So that's how one's tissues knitting back together at a visible rate felt like? In retrospect, that was an experience I could've lived without, but beggars can't be choosers.

I let the Celestial girl do her job and focused my attention on the rest. The princess was out of commission for the moment, too exhausted to even move, and Judy had her hands full with keeping her upright. The class rep was still frantically trying to shield Josh, who was still motionlessly lying on the ground. As for Snowy, she was in the process of getting surrounded by pillars of jagged ice. I figured that in a minute she would get completely engulfed. In other words, another ticking clock. Just what I needed.

I momentarily considered trying to teleport over to her side, but considering how battered I was at the moment, getting closer to the epicenter of this arctic blizzard was probably a bad idea. I had to get Snowy out of there, but everyone was exhausted, injured, or otherwise down for the count. Well, everyone save for one person...

It didn't take long to make up my mind. Not that I had time for doubts to begin with. Angie just finished humming a long, jazzy tune, and she was just about to start one another spell when I grabbed her bloodied hand.

”Wait, I'm not done!” Angie cried in a voice close to sobbing, but I held onto her hand firmly and raised her to her feet. ”We need to get the ice out!”

”Am I going to die in the next five minutes if you leave it in?” I asked, and after a long moment of hesitation, she shook her head. ”Then we need to do something about this damn blizzard first, because if we don't, we are all going to die in five minutes. I need you to get out your bow now.”

”But...”

”Angie, we don't have time. I want you to shoot the ice around Snowy. You should be able to break it. Stop it from closing in on her or we will never get her out of there.”

”But she stabbed you...”

”She was forced to stab me. I will explain later.” She still looked hesitant, and I had no time to waste on this conversation, so I dusted off my most severe glare and looked her in the eye. ”We came here to rescue both Josh and her, and we are not leaving until we have both of them back. That is the whole reason we are in this mess, and I can't have you have second guesses now. If I tell you to shoot something, I expect you to shoot it. No questions asked. Are we clear?”

I don't know which part of my words was the trigger, but all of a sudden there was a defiant light in Angie's eyes and she nodded with surprising firmness.

”Yes... You are right. Understood!” Without further ado, her bow sprung out of her bracelet and she fired an arrow more brilliant than anything she'd ever released before. It hit one of the ice-pillars and it not only broke it, but the top half of it outright evaporated. ”I can do this!”

”Yes you can,” I encouraged her with a pat on the back that left a bloody handprint on her white dress. I hoped she wouldn't mind it later.

With that said, I turned to Judy and the princess and beckoned for them to follow me over to the rest of the group. Time was of the essence, so I tried to shuffle as hard as I could, and we all arrived to Josh's side at the same time. I didn't wait for anyone to say anything; I pointed at the class rep and said, ”The Faun should get down at any moment now. I want you to summon your golem again and have it sit on the exit. Be quick about it; Snowy's bastard brother is still on the loose.”

”Understood.”

I thought she might protest, but the class rep immediately nodded and dashed away in the direction of the school building. I figured she was either used to obeying orders if they were given forcefully enough, or she understood just how dire the situation was and she hoped I knew what I was doing. So did I, but she didn't need to know that.

Next, I turned my attention to the guy lying on the ground making simultaneously outraged and horrified noises through a jaw clenched shut by a set of ethereal chains. I started by getting rid of those. Under the close scrutiny of the princess I struck two bloody fingers under the chain running down his cheek, curled them, and then made a sharp tugging motion. Like with Angie's tendrils of misty light in the past, my fingers cut through the ethereal restraint and they snapped like an old rubber band. It must've been one single spell that kept my friend restrained, as the moment the chain on his face broke, the rest slacked as well, and a moment later all of it burst into heatless blue flames that burned away the magical bonds in a second.

Josh gasped aloud as the pressure on his body abruptly abated, his eyes darting back and forth between the three of us on the edge of panic before he sat up and hugged his knees in a fetal position.

”What's going on!? Lili is a demon! Angie has wings! Elly has horns! What... What the actual fuck is going on!?!?”

While his confusion was completely understandable, I had no time for theatrics, so I promptly slapped him over the face, trailing another bloodstain on his cheek.

”Ow! Wha-What the fuck, man?!”

”Have you calmed down?” He probably thought that I would slap him again if he answered otherwise, so my friend gave me a curt nod. ”Good. Stay calm, do exactly as I say, and with some luck, we might all live long enough to reminisce about just how crazy this night was. Got it?” He nodded again. ”Good.”

This time I turned to the girls at my side. I opened my mouth but hesitated. I was about to ask something that would be outrageous under other circumstances. Then I was reminded of the ticking clock by another despairing wail followed by the sound of breaking ice, so I shook off any uncertainty and said; ”Princess, I need you to kiss Josh.” Normally at this point there would have been a beat of silence, but I had none of it. ”Yes, I am serious.”

”B-B-But... W-W-What? Why?!” The draconic girl protested with a face that was redder than her scales. ”This is not the time to—!”

”Listen, guys. In case you haven't noticed, I have a chunk of ice sticking out of my stomach, so I'm not going to explain this more than once: I need you to exchange fluids so that Josh can power up and save Snowy before she dies,” I explained as calmly yet forcefully as I could under the circumstances.

”Die?” The word shook Joshua harder than my previous slap and he looked at me slack-jawed. ”But... she was the one who—”

”She was forced to do that by her asshole brother. She is under some kind of mind-control or slave contract or what have you. She was the one who called me for help.”

”She was...?” Josh muttered between two confused blinks.

”Yes. Listen, we need to get her choker off her neck. I don't know the details, but we need to get it off her and calm her down before she kills herself, and you guys fussing over a silly little kiss is not helping!”

That made them shut up. They glanced at each other awkwardly for a moment, yet neither of them made a move.

”Do we... really have to kiss right now?”

It was at this point that my assistant rolled her eyes, and gently tapped my shoulder like she thought I would fall over if she poked me too hard.

”Chief, you said they need to 'exchange' bodily fluids, right?”

”Yeah,” I answered in exasperation. ”If I'm right, doing so would trigger some kind of transformation, and then Josh should be—”

Without waiting for me to finish, Judy extended a finger, wiped off some of the previously mentioned trickle of blood on the corner of the princess's mouth and then promptly stuck the same finger into Josh's still open hanging mouth.

She looked at me with an inscrutable expression, and all I could do was shrug my shoulder and say, ”Yeah, maybe that could work too...”

As soon as the last word left my mouth, I was nearly blinded by a sharp red light coming from right in front of me. I shielded my eyes with my forearm, and even though I could not see what was happening, Josh's alarmed grunts and the weird popping and cracking sounds confirmed that it indeed worked.

When the light subsided and I could lower my hand, I could barely recognize my already standing friend. Considering the panic in his eyes as he was looking at his own hands, he had a hard time as well. His body was now covered in rough, pearly-white scales with plate-like protrusions on his forearms and shins. His fingers and toes ended in sharp, slightly curved claws and he had the characteristically curved horns and long lizard tail of a draconian.

”H-How?! What did you do to me?!” he yelled in a weirdly echoing voice while the princess mouthed a silent ‘How?'

I ignored both of them as I stood up as well and pointed at the source of the still raging blizzard behind me.

”Listen, Josh, I need you to—”

”NO!” he roared while clawing at his own forearms. ”I don't want to do this! I want out! I can't do this!”

I glared at the still panicking guy for a long second, then stood up, I reached out, grabbed hold of his horn, and roughly yanked on it with all my remaining might. Josh nearly fell over with a surprised yelp, but I held onto his shiny new horn and kept him upright. I pointed behind me again and forced him to follow my finger. As if just to accentuate my point, Snowy let out another wail.

”Do you hear that? That is Snowy! She is suffering because you cannot stop feeling sorry for yourself for one goddamn minute and help her!”

”But... But I can't! I can't!”

”Yes, you can!” I let out a groan and let go of him. ”Listen, Josh, I know this is crazy and you don't understand what's going on. I get. It is perfectly fine to be scared and confused. However, there is someone in there who needs your help! I can't help her. The girls can't help her. Only you can help her. You are the hero of this story, start acting like one!”

”I...” I let go of his horn and Josh staggered back. His eyes were unsure and his movements sluggish, but he was no longer panicking. There was another wail and he shuddered, closed his eyes, and when he opened them again, there was no hint of hesitation in them. ”I get it. What do you want me to do?”

That gave me a pause I hoped he didn't notice. Right, just what exactly did I want him to do? Until a couple of seconds ago I was sure I had a plan, a logical one, but after being sidetracked, I could no longer recall it. I grasped for the bits and pieces swirling in my mind and decided to wing it.

”You... We are all down the count. You are the only one who can get close to Snowy without freezing to death. Try to calm her down and then get the choker off her. It's what her brother uses to control her.” I almost added an uncertain ‘I think' at the end of the sentence, but I swallowed it down. I had to maintain the illusion that I was still in control. Wait, was I ever in control? I couldn't decide. It was hard to focus and my head felt heavy like it was made of lead. Maybe it had something to do with the blood loss.

”I'll try,” Josh nodded.

”Do or do not, insert famous Yoda line here, whatever... Just get going already.” I muttered while exerting extra effort to keep my head upright.