Chapter 55 (2/2)

”… If you insist,” I yielded almost right away, and I allowed her to pull me towards the stairs.

”If you're picking one for her, do it for me too,” my assistant followed it up with those words, and I couldn't help but sigh.

As cute as my girlfriends were, they could certainly be quite a handful from time to time. Though again, I wouldn't have it any other way.

Slowly. Very, very slowly. The trick was to move with deliberate, smooth movements and— Okay, that's one side done. Now, I just had to move this arm to the side a little aaaand...

”Finally...” I whispered under a breath of relief, and then I promptly slipped down the side of the bed. However, the moment my foot touched the floor, my whole body stiffened in alarm.

”Mmm...”

Holding my breath like my life depended on it, I warily glanced over to my left, towards the source of the sleepy mumble that made me halt on my tracks. I stayed perfectly still for what felt like at least two-thirds of an eternity, and only let out a tiny sigh once I was sure the crisis had passed.

It took me a subjectively long time to do it, but I was finally back on my own two feet. I promptly stretched my back, after which I glanced over my shoulder towards my bed, or rather, the two girls on it.

The three of us stayed up until eleven, watching movies and discussing things, at which point it felt like some kind of switch flipped inside the two of them from 'energetic' to 'sleepy'. Normally I would've found their behavior really endearing, with all the yawning and eye-rubbing, but then came an issue I failed to consider ahead of time: they wanted to sleep together. Or rather, Elly wanted to, after Judy told her about how she slept on my bed once.

This was, of course, absolutely impossible due to the fact that I didn't sleep. This wasn't exactly a big secret, so I let my draconic girlfriend in on it, yet it did nothing to deter her, so in the end we reached a compromise; I'd stay with them until they fell asleep, and then I'd slip out once they were neck-deep in dreamland. Or, as my assistant put it, 'once Judy-bot is dreaming of electric sheep'.

Sounded like a nice middle ground, except for one tiny issue: as it turned out, my girlfriends were super-clingy, even in their sleep. No, I should say especially in their sleep. As in, imagine a pair of baby-koalas, on steroids!

Just thinking back on the hour-long slow and meticulous struggle it took to peel them off myself made me want to grumble like an old dwarf fresh out of ale, yet I held the urge back, lest I would accidentally wake the girls. I didn't want to go through the whole process all over again… and, on second look, they were all kinds of adorable sleeping together like that, and I really didn't want to ruin that image.

In fact, I may or may not have spent a somewhat unnecessarily long time staring at the two of them under the blanket. And no, I had absolutely no regrets about setting my own deadline, meaning that trying anything physical tonight would've made me an enormous hypocrite, even though they were sprawled out in front of me and completely defenseless.

…

Well, okay, maybe a tiny little bit, but you didn't hear it from me.

Anyhow, once I had my fill with the sight, I quickly (and very, very quietly) turned around and tiptoed towards my PC. I brought it out of standby mode with a single click of the mouse, and I was once again grateful for my bank account, as it allowed me to buy a pre-built machine with a water-cooler, so I didn't have to worry about the fans waking anyone. That said, the screen was still pretty bright, and so I quickly turned it down a notch.

I glanced back to check on the girls one last time, and since they were still happily snoring away the night, I let my shoulders relax a bit and lowered myself into my custom swivel chair.

Once I was seated, I made sure to mute the speakers before automatically checking the Hub, mostly out of habit. I skimmed over the new forum threads and browsed the titles of the new reports, but there didn't seem to be anything noteworthy at a single glance. As such, I opened a new tab and clicked on the bookmark of my favorite movie database site, and once it loaded in, I immediately typed the title of the schlock movie we just watched.

It didn't take long to find the user reviews section, and after I limbered up my fingers, I quickly typed in my concise review of the film.

'The Heating Coil of Doom is the worst thing I've seen since polio. The main character has too much plot armor, the side plots about the lesbian cheerleaders and their pet moose were slow and confusing, and the explicit sex scene between the sentient toaster and the grandmother living in the attic had no buildup or consequence whatsoever. Also, a little gross. The ending also left a lot to be desired, as we never learned if the toaster managed to kill the moose at the end, and the romance subplot between the cheerleaders and the lion tamer from the Danish traveling circus was inconclusive as well. Overall, it was a bad movie. Two out of ten.'

Once I was satisfied with what I wrote, I posted it and moved the cursor over to close the tab, but by doing so my eyes naturally skimmed over the other tabs, and so I inevitably noticed a notification from the Hub. I had a bad feeling about it, but I figured it could also be important, so I closed the review site as originally intended and steeled my nerves before checking the chat logs.

Surprise, surprise; my hunch was on the money.

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: HI BOSSMAN! ARE YOU ONLINE!? (￣▽￣)ノ”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: IF YOU ARE ONLINE, PLZ ANSWER ASAP!!! I NEED SOME ADVICE!!! (´｡• ω •｡`)”

It was for moments like this that I had stockpiled a lot of exasperated sighs, so I could freely breathe one out whenever I had to. Like just now. Haaaah…

Anyhow, I reached out for the keyboard and began to type my reply.

”Admin: Hello, Ninja. Please tell me you're not looking for relationship advice.”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: HUH!? Σ(￣。￣ﾉ)”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: NONONO! THINGS ARE PROGRESSING SUPER WELL ALREADY! (＾▽＾)”

Oh, look at that. A classic spit-take moment. And here I thought I wouldn't be surprised by anything anymore. Once I got over the first shock, I decided to ask the obvious, just to be on the safe side.

”Admin: With the granddaughter of the Arch-Mage?”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: YEP! WE ARE TEXTING EACH OTHER EVERY EVENING, AND SHE IS SUPER DUPER CUTE!!! EVEN CUTER THAN I ORIGINALLY THOUGHT! LIKE, HYPER-SUPER-UBER-DUPER CUTE!!1! (≧◡≦) ♡”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: ACTUALLY, I WAS JUST PLANNING TO ASK HER TO HANG OUT!!! WISH ME LUCK!!!1!!ONE! (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄

The enthusiasm seeping through the screen was practically palpable, but on my end, questions like 'Since when did you even have her number!?' or 'When the heck did all of this happen, and why didn't I notice it!?' drowned it all out. Anyhow, I stifled a shallow groan and decided to ask the Class Rep about it tomorrow. For now, I went ahead and proceeded with the next obvious question.

”Admin: Break a leg.”

”Admin: That said, if it wasn't about your love life, then what kind of advice do you need?”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: RIGHT, RIGHT!!”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: REMEMBER ALL THE REPORTS I'VE BEEN SENDING YOU? ABOUT ALL THE INFO I GOT OF OFF THE SCARY CHIMERA SLAYER DUDE?! (＞﹏＜)”

I waited for an embarrassingly long time for him to continue, until it dawned on me that it wasn't a rhetorical question he was asking,

”Admin: Yes, I remember. What of it?”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: YOU SEE, I RAN INTO A BIT OF A SNAG! (；￣Д￣)”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT THAT GETTING UNUSUAL ARTIFACTS WOULD BE SUCH A PAIN IN THE *******?!?!! (＃`Д´)”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: I TRIED TO CALL IN ALL KINDS OF FAVORS, AND EVEN DROPPED MY FATHER'S NAME A FEW TIMES, BUT I STILL COULDN'T FIND ANYONE WITH A NOVEL ARTIFACT FOR THE SLAYERIZER DUDE!

(ノ_<>

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: ALSO, MY FATHER LEARNED ABOUT WHAT I WAS DOING, AND SCOLDED ME OVER THE PHONE... 〜(＞＜)〜”

”Admin: I see, but could you please get to the point?”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: SURE BOSS, SORRY BOSS!! (*_ _)人”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: THE POINT IS THAT A FRIEND OF A FRIEND HELPED ME CONTACT THIS REALLY SHADY GUY! HE HAS ALL KINDS OF COOL GADGETS, BUT HE IS SUPER SHADY, AND HE WAS ASKING FOR WEIRD STUFF IN EXCHANGE FOR HELPING ME OUT! SHOULD I MAKE A DEAL WITH HIM?

(￣_￣)・・・ ”

”Admin: That depends. Please elaborate on the 'weird stuff'.”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: HE ONLY WANTS ME TO WRITE SOMETHING IN SCRIPT FOR HIM! I THINK HE MIGHT WANT TO FORGE SOME KIND OF DOCUMENT OR WHATNOT, BUT I'M NOT SURE! (￢_￢)”

”Admin: So he's a forger?”

There was a long pause in the textual conversation, so I wrote in another question.

”Admin: Is he one of ours?”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: I DON'T THINK SO? IF HE WAS, HE WOULDN'T NEED TO ME WRITE FOR HIM!”

”Admin: Fine, then what does he look like?”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: IDDUNO! I HAVEN'T MET HIM YET! WE ONLY SENT MESSAGES OVER PALINDROME!

┐(￣～￣)┌”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: OH, OH! I JUST REMEMBERED! (★ω★)/”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: BOSS-MAN! DO YOU HAVE A PALINDROME ACCOUNT!? CAN YOU ADD ME AS A PAL!? o(>ω<>

For the uninitiated (such as I was until a short while ago), 'PALindrome' was the name of one of the newfangled social media sites that popped into existence with the world's technology doing its damned best to catch up to some arbitrary tech-level during the past month or so. I knew because Judy and Elly both wanted me to add them as 'pals' and then set their relationship level to 'girlfriend', but when it turned out the site only allowed one girlfriend per person (which was a discrimination lawsuit in the waiting, I tell you), they decided to go back to MateLedger, which was the first site Judy used to annoy me.

But putting my irritation with the rapidly increasing popularity and influence of these sites aside (which, I would like to add, had nothing to do with the fact that I could've made ten times the money I did with my rudimentary streaming service idea if only I realized that making the first social media platform was even an option), I focused on the screen again and gave my answer.

”Admin: I don't think it's wise for an asset to share and discuss information on social media.”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: DON'T WORRY, ADMIN! I WAS SUPER DISCREET! SO, ABOUT ADDING ME AS A PAL…?

(＾• ω •＾)”

”Admin: Let's discuss this again at another time. For now, I'd like you to tell me more about this shady person you want to make a deal with.”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: OKAY! (* ^ ω ^)”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: I DON'T KNOW MUCH MORE ABOUT HIM, BUT MY FRIEND SAID HE IS NEW TO THE ISLAND, AND HE IS STILL BUILDING UP HIS CONTACTS, AND THAT'S WHY I COULD GET STUFF FROM HIM FOR CHEAP! (￢‿￢ )”

”Admin: Do you know where he got his artifacts? Is he connected to the School?”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: I DON'T THINK SO? HE PROMISED HE COULD GIVE ME ALL KINDS OF WEIRD STUFF I COULDN'T FIND ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ISLAND! LIKE, HE WROTE HE HAD AN ARTIFACT THAT COULD MAKE TEA TASTE LIKE COFFEE! (★ω★)/”

I blinked a few times as a re-read the last message, and I couldn't help but feel intrigued.

”Admin: Do you mean it turns tea into coffee?”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: NONONO! ONLY THE TASTE! SOUNDS KIND OF USELESS, BUT IT'S PRETTY WEIRD, SO I'M SURE SLAYER DUDE WOULD LIKE IT! HE'S WEIRD LIKE THAT! (─‿‿─)”

His tone annoyed me a little, but I had to admit that he was right. That most certainly intrigued me. Just how would an artifact change the taste of a liquid without affecting its chemical make-up? Maybe it affected the amino acids that gave tea its flavor? Or it could apply some sort of masking effect on the liquid to deceive the taste buds? Kind of like an illusion for the tongue?

Either way, that sounded really interesting. If it was the former, it might even give me an easy gateway into understanding how the magical sub-stratum manipulated things on a molecular level. I found myself itching to take a look, so after a short minute of consideration, I decided to tell Mike to go for it.

”Admin: He sounds useful. If you think it's safe, try to make contact with him. Be sure you have an escape plan.”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: DON'T WORRY BOSS! I'M GOING TO HAVE TWO! ε=ε=ε=ε=┌(;￣▽￣)┘”

”Admin: Good. Do you have anything else to report?”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: NOTHING TO REPORT, BUT… BOSS, DO YOU HAVE EXPERIENCE WITH WOMEN? LIKE, HOW TO MAKE THEM FALL FOR YOU AND STUFF? (＾• ω •＾)”

The moment I read that, I instinctively glanced back at the two girls peacefully sleeping in my bed, then with mixed feelings I typed down:

”Admin: No. Also, I already told you I'm not giving relationship advice.”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: PLEASE BOSS! I DON'T WANT TO MESS THIS UP! PLEASEEEEEEE!!! (シ_ _)シ”

Oh, look at that. It was roll-of-eye o'clock before I even knew it. Anyhow, I silently shook my head and responded with a curt:

”Admin: Go, ask Moose.”

There was a radio silence almost a minute long following my advice…

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: HE'LL MAKE FUN OF ME… (/ω＼)”

…followed by another unnecessarily long pause before Mike finally gave up.

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: FINE, I ASK HIM! MAYBE HE'S GOING TO BE IN A GOOD MOOD?! (￢_￢;)”

”Admin: You do that. I have to go now.”

”W1NG3D N1NJ4: BYE, ADMIN!!! (´• ω •`)ﾉ ”

”Admin: Stay safe.”

Following those two words, I quickly closed the chat interface and set my status to 'offline'. I was about to move on with my night, but in the end I couldn't help but feel bothered by this exchange, so I opened the chat log again and sent a PM.

”Admin: Hey, Moose. Ninja is going to annoy you soon. Don't be too mean to him.”

”Morosemoose: Hello, Admin. He is already annoying me.”

”Morosemoose: I'll try not to tease him too much. Not making any promises.”

”Admin: Good enough for me. That's all I wanted to say. Bye.”

”Morosemoose: Bye.”

With that done, I closed the tab for good and carefully stretched my arms as I thought about what I should do next. It was still the middle of the night, so my options were fairly limited. I couldn't work out, as it would probably wake up the girls. I could go down and make breakfast, but it would get cold by the time they woke up, so it was also off the table. What did that leave me with?

”Well,” I whispered under my breath, mostly out of habit. ”I suppose I better find out what gives tea its taste. For science.”

And with that began yet another long, not particularly eventful, yet strangely relaxing night of research.

”Goodbye. Dad! Have a safe… Trip!”

Said one wooden and completely unconvincing voice on my left, its owner continuing to hold onto me as if her life depended on it even while she was bidding a teary farewell to her father. On an unrelated note, I couldn't feel my left arm anymore. Was it a good or a bad thing that I was getting used to that?

”Thank you! My, dear daughter! Daddy is going, to, be back! In a few weeks!”

Replied a much louder, yet at the same time even less convincing voice from the front. What would you even call that? 'Woodener'? 'Woodier'? 'Foresty'? Let's go with the last one, it sounded about right.

”Oh, father. I will miss you. So much.”

”Don't, cry my! Daughter! I, will only be, gone! For… multiple weeks! Yes! Multiple… weeks!”

While all of this silliness was happening with all the sublime grace of a train-crash on a boat, my eyes slowly swept over the whole Dracis household crowding the driveway in front of the gates of the estate. In retrospect, I think it was probably a form of involuntary coping mechanism. Anyhow, the small crowd in front of me included Emese, Sebastian, Melinda, the nameless twins, all the placeholder maids, and even the cooks and the gardeners. All of them were standing in attention too, and the whole display reminded me of a military parade, except with ladles, feather dusters, and rakes instead of guns.

As I continued to scrutinize the staff, my gaze unexpectedly met with those of the incognito dragon standing by my self-diagnosed father-in-law's side, and the way he immediately rolled his eyes perfectly encapsulated my own sentiment. I gave him a nod of appreciation, and then we both shrugged at once as the father-daughter duo continued their public display of misdirection.

At long last, the excruciatingly arboreal string of goodbyes came to an end, and Abram and Sebastian both got inside the large black limousine waiting nearby, though not before papa Dracis sent me a meaningful wink. What it actually meant though, I didn't have the foggiest idea, and they rode away into the sunrise before I could ask.

Then, as if she was waiting for the opportunity, Emese rolled over to us with the help of the braided (and for some reason really grumpy-looking) chambermaid, completely disregarding the way the mansion's staff left the scene in goose-steps. For a moment I wondered whether that was because they were placeholders, or it was something I should be worried about, but such thoughts were quickly shaken out of my head by the mother of the household directly addressing me.

”Thank you for seeing off my husband, Leonard. Did you three have fun last night?” she asked with the combination of a provocative smirk and a knowing look. It wasn't hard to figure out what she was hinting at, considering Elly was even clingier than usual, while my dear assistant also followed her example for some inexplicable and quite troubling reason.

”You could… certainly say that.”

My evasive answer only made her smile widen even further and she followed it up with a cocky ”Is that so? I'm happy to hear that! When can I expect my grandchildren?”

”Well, let's see…” I muttered as I began to count on my fingers. ”High school is two more years. College is at least three, five if either of us wants to get a master's degree, plus we should also try and get jobs first, so… about eight or so years?”

My detailed answer obviously caught her off-guard, yet by the twinkle in her eyes I could see she already had a snappy comeback on the tip of her tongue, which would've no doubt led to some hilarious skit about baby names and college saving funds, if not for my other girlfriend joining the fray.

”Chief, we should hurry up,” Judy remarked and she showed me the clock on her phone. ”We're going to be late for school. You can play with mother-in-law later.”

”We are not that late…”

My attempted protest fell on deaf ears, as my dear assistant commenced to act like she was dragging me away. Or… was she actually trying to drag me away, but failing? It wouldn't have been the first time she did something like this, so it was hard to tell.

Anyhow, since she was about as adamant about her efforts as a Pomeranian puppy trying to take his human for a walk, I decided to humor her and awkwardly waved at the women still in the driveway.

”Bye, mom-in-law.”

”Oh well,” Emese huffed with a playful bend in her lips, and then she added, ”Stay safe, kids. I'll see you at dinner!”

I didn't remember making any dinner plans, but considering the circumstances, I didn't have either the time or the energy to object, especially since Elly decided to join the 'fun' and began to pull on me as well, and unlike with my assistant, her efforts were significantly harder to resist. As such, I soon found myself walking away from the Dracis mansion, yet I could feel the eyes of the still crotchety maid and the widely grinning matron of the estate right until we rounded a corner and were finally out of sight.

The moment that happened, I let out a pent-up breath and glanced at my girlfriends in turn. The princess seemed to be in an unusually good mood, while Judy was her usual self, except maybe just a smidge clingier than usual. I wondered if they didn't give up yet, and this was their step four or five in their intricate plans to awaken my libido. I hoped not. They gave me enough trouble yesterday with their cosplay already.

… Actually, now that I think about it, they looked pretty cute in those maid outfits. Borderline adorable. Furthermore, those costumes looked like they were fitted specifically for them to emphasize their charms and whatnot. That's not something they could make in an afternoon, so I couldn't help but wonder if the maid cosplay was a premeditated plan instead of something they came up with in a single day. Either way, it certainly brought my girlfriends' sense of priorities into question, but then again, I had my own bugbears to contend with, so I wasn't going to cast the first stone.

In any case, while I was pondering about these important matters, all of a sudden someone called out to me.

”Is this what they call 'having a flower in each arm'?”

I turned towards the source of the cheeky comment, and it wasn't exactly surprising that I found Josh there.

”Just where did you even hear that old-school term?” I shot back with a raised brow, and my friend shrugged his shoulders between his greetings to the girls.

”I think it was in one of those god-awful young adult novels Angie made me read a few years ago. Can't recall the title.”

”It's probably better that way,” I commented, and we shared a sentimental nod between each other. ”Speaking of her, where's the childhood friend in question?”

”She should be here soon,” Josh said as he fell in line beside us. ”She said she forgot her gym clothes and had to go back.”

”Should we slow down to let her catch up?” Elly proposed, but Josh ultimately shook his head.

”Nah, she's quick on her feet; she should catch up with us soon. Not to mention, you guys aren't exactly running either.” He paused for a long moment as he looked us over, then he added, ”Speaking of which, isn't it uncomfortable to walk like that?”

I figured he was referring to the way my girlfriends arrested my arms, so I replied with, ”It's not so bad.”

”It also keeps us warm,” Judy added somewhat absent-mindedly, immediately catching my attention in the process.

”Wait, is that why you are being so close?”

”Among other things,” she told me while conspicuously averting her gaze. In fact, I was pretty sure she was doing so on purpose to tease me, so I did the only reasonable thing and ignored her in favor of my other girlfriend.

”Are you also holding onto me for that?”

”I just saw Judy do it, and it looked nice,” my Draconic girlfriend answered with a dopey smile, after which she honest to goodness rubbed her cheeks on my shoulder and added, ”She's right though. You're really warm.”

”I’m glad to hear that?”

I would be lying if I said I wasn't taken a little aback by that, but then I was taken even abacker when Judy followed her lead and did the same, so I decided not to dwell on it and focus on the conversation with our resident protagonist.

”So, I gather you two have buried the hatchet.”

”Yeah. Angie even apologized for overacting.” Josh fell silent for a moment, his brows slowly scrunching up, and then he added, ”It was weird.”

”But it worked out, and that's what's important,” I noted, followed by the closest approximation of a sagely nod I could manage under the continued assault of my girlfriends.

”I suppose.” After saying that, Josh's gaze wandered off as if he was lost in thought, but at last he turned back to me and explained, ”After she apologized, we played a few rounds of Street Kombat.”

”Sounds wholesome,” I said half-heartedly, just to keep the conversation rolling.

”Whatever you say,” Joshua dismissed my stray comment with a sneaky roll of his eyes, but then he unexpectedly added, ”And when it was time for her to go home, she gave me a kiss on my cheek. She said it was an apology kiss. Is that normal? I mean, between friends?”

Wow, look at that. Angie went on the offensive. That was fairly surprising… or maybe not? I mean, she did seem unusually interested in my relationship with the girls and how to make it work; maybe she was actually laying the groundwork? Or maybe it really was just a chaste, friendly peck on the cheek. Who knew?

However, before I could give my tactful and unbiased advice, I was beaten to the punch by Elly of all people saying, ”I don't think Leo is a good judge of these things.”

Wait, what? This time I was taken the abackest. I never expected Elly to say that, but I couldn't object in time, as my other girlfriend immediately echoed her sentiment.

”True. The Chief is really bad at picking up on these things.”

”Hey! I wholeheartedly disagree with that assessment!” I exclaimed as I finally managed to get a word in, and to my most abacktakeningest surprise not only Judy, but the princess also gave me a flat look. Luckily the angle from which they were doing so made them look somewhat cute, so it didn't hurt my feelings as hard as it could've, but it was still an unexpected sucker-punch.

”Sorry Chief, but considering how much trouble you caused us by failing to get a clue, I don't think there's any jury in the world that would find you innocent.”

”Innocent of what? Also, I once again vehemently disagree. I wasn't unaware, I just decided not to do this whole romance thing yet because of reasons. There's a huge difference there.”

”Doesn't that just make it worse?” Elly's innocent-sounding question made us glance at her in unison, so she hastily clarified her point. ”I mean, wouldn't willfully ignoring someone when they try to show they like you be worse than just being oblivious?”

”You're right,” Judy followed her up with a mighty nod. ”What do you say to that, Chief?”

”I have nothing to explain, as I've already told you my reasons when we started dating. Not to mention, things worked out in the end, so all's well that ends well.” The two girls clinging to me were still giving me unsatisfied looks, so I decided it was time for a tactical change in topic. ”Anyhow, Josh asked a question. Shouldn't we help him out first before we start reminiscing about how our relationship started?”

”I thought we were already doing that,” Judy commented while taking a sneaky glance at my friend, who was only looking at us in a mixture of incomprehension and industrial-strength caginess, as if he was afraid our boiling cauldron of a discussion would spill over him too.

For a short while all three of us were looking at him without a word, and the atmosphere was actually getting a little chilly. Or was it the weather? It was hard to tell sometimes.

”… I don't get it,” Josh finally blurted out, which prompted both my girlfriends to let out a sigh in unison.

”Maybe Leo is right.” The princess's low-key whisper made me raise a brow in surprise, and so she added, ”Maybe the boy being oblivious is more of a hassle in the long run after all.”

”Maybe,” Judy echoed the word the third time in a row, yet even though it was supposed to be a form of tacit agreement, she still sounded about as skeptical as an atheist at the midnight mass.

In the meantime, I noticed a ponytail rapidly approaching us from behind, and unsurprisingly enough, it was attached to a heaving Celestial girl. She came to a screeching halt by our side, caught her breath, and then she sent a sharp glance our way.

”You guys are mean! Why didn't you wait for me!?”

”You said you'd catch up soon,” Joshua answered his childhood friend's question while he simultaneously stepped up to her and rubbed her back. ”Here, here. Any better now?”

”I'm not that out of breath,” Angie grumbled, but curiously enough she didn't move away or try to stop him. Must've been another one of those 'childhood friend things'.

”I see you two really made up,” I noted. ”Good.”

”I already told you we did,” Joshua objected for some bizarre reason.

”Yes, but hearing about it is one thing, and seeing it with my own two eyes is another.”

”Yep, we're peas in a pod again. Thanks for the assist.” Angie flashed me a toothy grin for a moment, but then she looked us over and took a step back. ”Speaking of peas in a pod, is it just me, or do you guys look even cuter than usual? Oh, oh! Can I take a picture?”

”I'd prefer if you didn't.” My flat response earned me a stuck-out tongue from the upbeat girl, but I ignored her and instead gestured for the childhood friend duo to get moving, because at this rate we would really end up late, even though I could already see the school gates from where we were standing.

Once we started moving again, and there was a distinct lull in the conversation, I decided it was as good a time as any to breach the topic of today's big event.

”So, are you guys prepared for the afternoon kerfuffle?”

Both Josh and Angie shared an apprehensive look between the two of them, but then they both nodded in such perfect unison I couldn't help but wonder if they practiced for occasions like this.

”I think we should be fine.” Josh's words probably didn't sound too convincing even to his own ears, so he hastily added, ”I mean, we reviewed the plan a couple of times, but as Leo would say, those rarely survive contact with the enemy.”

”Oh, I've heard that one too,” Angie followed him up right away. ”Is it a quote from Rommel? Or Sun Tzu?”

”It's from Helmuth von Moltke the Elder,” my dear assistant corrected her, and it took all my willpower not to ask just where the hell she learned that.

”That guy's name doesn't exactly roll off the tongue like the others.”

We naturally ignored the Celestial girl's musings, and instead I told them, ”The important thing is to be able to adapt to the situation. Your basic plan should be solid, and if there's any trouble, you should be able to improvise with the pieces on the board.”

”We'll try, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't feel more confident if you were also there,” Josh admitted a little sheepishly, which made his childhood friend giggle for some reason.

”Sorry, but I'll have to head over to the park to set the stage for the Chimera hunt so that Mountain Girl would finally be out of my hair.” He still looked more than a little conflicted, so I also told him, ”Don't worry. As they say, plans are useless, but planning is indispensable, and you have done a lot of it. It will be fine.”

”Dwight D. Eisenhower.”

”Pardon?” I asked back in reflex as I glanced at the source of the unexpected comment.

”The thing you said about planning is a quote from him,” Judy clarified.

I sent a deadpan look at her way, and once I felt it reached its destination, I also added, ”Dormouse, please stop being so smart for just five minutes. You're distracting me.”

”Is it because you like smart girls?” she immediately asked back with a cheeky little pseudo-smirk.

”So what if I do? Since when's that a crime?”

”Hey, that would make sense! I'm pretty smart too!” the princess suddenly injected herself into our skit with her usual tact of a drunken bull in a china shop. ”I was always at the top of my grade in my old schools. Aced all my exams too.”

”Now that you mention it, midterm exams are coming up, aren't they?” I mused aloud, yet my absent-mindedly spoken words made the childhood friend duo shudder like leaves in a monsoon.

”Aw crap, you are right!” Angie's exclamation coincided with us reaching the school gates, and it earned her a stern look from the disciplinary committee member minding the perimeter.

”We totally forgot to study with everything else going on, didn't we?” Josh commented, and it felt like the words were draining his soul away.

”Mum is going to flay me if my average falls under three-point-five!” the at the moment not at all energetic Celestial raised her mournful voice, and her childhood-friend-slash-comrade repeatedly nodded in understanding.

”We're screwed, aren't we?” Josh lamented, his eyes unfocused and looking into an infinite distance only he could see.

Frankly, I felt that they were making a mountain out of a molehill, as I considered supernatural battles of life and death more important than quarterly grades. At the end of the day though I just couldn't watch them beating themselves up over their grades, so I proposed, ”Do you want to form a study group after things calm down a little?”

”Weren't your grades also pretty bad?” Josh responded with a critically raised brow, but before I could get a word in, Angie cut me off.

”Wait, that's actually not a bad idea! Even if Leo is book-dumb, he has Judy and Elly! If we ask Ammy to join too, we're going to be set!”

”Oh, I like the sound of that!” my friend agreed with a worrying amount of enthusiasm.

And with that, somehow the discussion about dealing with Labcoat Guy got derailed into forming an impromptu study group for the mid-terms exams that were still about a month away. I knew I should be happy Josh wasn't too tense about the operation after school, but at least he could stay on topic. Priorities and whatnot.

But I digress. We were already in school, so I supposed we should only discuss the battle-plans once we were in a more secluded location, such as on the roof. As such, I decided to drop the whole thing altogether. Except…

”'Book dumb', huh?” I spoke softly under my breath, then with a not at all sinister smile I added, ”Well, that also goes into my book of grudges…”

”Did you say something?” Elly inquired out of the blue, so I faced her and flashed my latest and greatest version of my roguish smirk at her.

”Don't worry, I'm just being nefarious.”

”Oh, it's okay then,” she concluded with a dazed smile on her own, and with that, we headed towards the shoe lockers and began what promised to be quite an eventful day.