Chapter 101: Home Sweet Home, And Breasts (1/2)

Ah, how pleasant! Fresh air, clear sky, false prophets, and panicking people. Seriously what were they still doing here? Ah, there was even an addition to it.

There was a group nearby with signs. It was a great cause too: <Nuke the Greenwood Lord>. Somehow they had great cohesiveness, how peculiar. In every manifestation there needed to be at least one troll. Were they breaking such a universal rule?!

”Brother, can you sign our petition to drop a big fat nuke on that villain's head?” A protesting guy hollered at him.

”Sure, but before I sign tell me: Who's here ironically?” Half raised their hand. Some looked at their colleagues as if they had just been horribly betrayed while the others were clueless and had thought the whole thing a joke.

Ah, how pleasant! Fresh air, clear sky, protesters busy infighting, U-bots scurrying over to intervene and Josh low-key just entering the sewers minding his own business. Then he made his way to his room and there was... a door?! It even had a note telling him to use his UW to unlock it.

He could feel something rise from the very depth of his being. It was a feeling that even getting 100k Credits couldn't compare to. You know you have attained the pinnacle in life when you finally get a door! That's what she had said back then…

He felt a wave of melancholy hit him as he couldn't help but see something vividly. He was remembering all the times he had opened his door home back on Earth. How happy he felt every time. How the weariness, the tiredness, and tediousness of living would go away. He would feel as if the weight of his own existence would disappear, the lightness so addictive.

Every time, he would only feel alive when he came back home. Otherwise, he would be nothing but a lovesick ghost haunting this shitty world. No matter how unfair or dark this Earth got, he had always been able to endure it, all thanks to them.

As he opened the pitch-black door with shaky hands, he was confronted by a full room that felt empty. He couldn't help but murmur a soft and sorrowful ”I'm home.” Then the light opened automatically. He could distinguish his blurry surroundings through the tears.

It was all so weird!

The little one would have loved it for sure. She would have been happily hopping all over, before finally jumping on the bed. He could even picture her smugly remark that the big and comfy-looking bed would increase bedtime story-telling efficiency by some made-up percentage. Her big sister would have loved it too, but for a very different reason.

The bed cover was blood-red with a soft rug at its feet. It came with blood-red pillows too and leather straps. The frame was a sturdy metallic black. On the side, there were literal chains and what seemed like a medieval net made out of heavy metal. Was that the heavy blanket he had asked for?!

Not far away, there was a chair. It looked rather comfortable, but peculiar. On the side, there was a wheel to adjust the desired setting. But why were the options: Light, Medium, Heavy, Deadly, Deadly+, Deadly++ ?! What kind of electric mass— oh!

There was a built-in fridge in the wall somehow. Except, it really didn't look like the usual everyday one. No, it was some kind of laboratory fridge. The kind that could clearly be used by a mad scientist to research a deadly virus. Wasn't this overkill?!

There was a note about the light settings. Apparently, he could activate it all vocally. There were: Off, Dim, Normal, Bright, Very Bright, and Supernova. Josh carefully mumbled ”Supernova.” The flash of light that ensued made a flash grenade seem like a small LED. This would really blind anyone's dog eyes!

Josh had to wait for a few minutes for his vision to come back. Honestly, he was convinced that he would have turned blind had he not been a Climber. He could distinguish a metallic sphere tucked in a corner.

Approaching it, there was a small manual attached to it. Josh pressed the power button before it addressed him. <Master registered as Josh Malum> Wow, how neat! It was literally just a rolling sphere that could talk.

<Master, please designate a target to kill.> Josh looked at it puzzled before lightly answering.

”I just need you to clean anything that tries to soil this place. Can you do that?”

<Orders received!> It looked pretty harmless. Did it have some kind of edgy AI to make it cooler?

There was just one thing missing. He had asked for freezers. How else was he supposed to store ice cream? Oh well, it wasn't that bad. But that is when Josh looked at the blood-red walls and noticed something that seemed to be sticking out. Coming closer, he found a handle.

As he pulled it, Josh realized that there were in fact freezers. It was just that the design was very peculiar. Well, there was an easy way to describe it. Ever seen a morgue? Yes, it looked exactly like the compartments to hold cadavers! When he had asked for a fridge big enough for a few humans to fit inside he didn't mean it like that!

They would have loved this place. They would have made fun of him for not giving proper directives. She would have worked her magic somehow and turned this multi-purpose sleeping/torture room into a cozy home.