Chapter 21 - Butterflys Return 8:Again (1/2)

Yunjae sat on the hospital bed staring far ahead at the wall. She had regained consciousness when the nurses were fussing over her some twenty minutes ago, and she had been informed of her condition.

Pregnant!

No wonder she'd been so emotional lately. She was pregnant….with Jinho's baby…again.

The nurses said she was three weeks in the family way, and that she bled due to exhaustion. They said her pregnancy was delicate - that she had to stay here at the hospital on bed rest if she wanted to keep her child. Again.

But did she want to keep this child?

Yes, of course. There was no question about that. Even if there were so many things, so many problems physically, emotionally as well as financially that this pregnancy would cost her, she wanted this baby. Desperately, she wanted to keep this baby – hers and Jinho's second child.

Thinking about the father of her children, Jae's eyes felt hot as it filled with the familiar moisture and she smiled wistfully as her tears fell on her cheeks. Her mind raced as she tried to think about how she would juggle her time and savings, now that she had Yuan and her new baby to take care of, but her mind came up empty.

When she had Yuan, it had been easy since she had her brother to support her. But now, she had two children to care for, Jae knew she shouldn't depend on Yihan anymore. Her brother had his own family to think of after all. Jae had intruded long enough, and even if her sister-in-law, Hana's a good person, Jae didn't want to abuse her kindness. She knew her brother and his wife were planning to have their own children soon.

Jae knew it was Jinho who had brought her here at the hospital. She wondered if her lover stuck around long enough to know her condition. But she knew, even if Jinho did find out, he would only think that the baby was her ”husband's”. Knowing her lover, she wouldn't be surprised if he got so angry at her again, and left her completely because of this.

The thought that this time, she was the one being abandoned made her cry harder. Placing a shaking hand over her still flat stomach, she whispered her apology to her unborn child for the hardship that her baby might face.

”But it's okay baby, mom will find a way,” she whispered her promise, the same promise she told Yuan years ago when she first found out she was carrying him.

=======

2 years ago

”You're pregnant. Five weeks.”

Jae's already huge doe eyes widened in shock as she stared at the doctor as if the other had gone insane.

”No, this can't be,” she whispered in disbelief afterwards, her mind still processing this information, and the doctor uncrossed his legs as he sighed.

”But it's already certain. Your lab results say so,” the doctor informed her as he turned to the sheet on his table and scribbled on it. ”Yours is a little delicate. Your baby's bȧrėly hanging on so you have to stop all unnecessary activity. If you're into sports, I advise you to drop it until you've given birth,” he continued which horrified Jae.

”But I can't! The Nationals is the day after tomorrow. I can't just drop out. There's no time to get someone to replace me,” she said in alarm, though the latter part's not totally true. Even if she'd been very sickly these past few weeks, she pushed hard to maintain her speed which somewhat appeased her incensed coach and placed her into the roster of athletes to compete. But it didn't mean she's irreplaceable.

”Do you want this baby or not?” the doctor countered and Jae shut her mouth, the situation already sinking in.

Did she want this baby? Did she want Jinho's child?