Chapter 52 - Amethyst Eyes 7: Frozen (2/2)

”What are you saying? Am I not getting married to you?” she countered and Alex turned his face away.

”I just want to know. You never respond when I tell you I love you. Lately, you don't seem to welcome my touch anymore either.”

Standing up, Alex smiled sadly. His eyes filled with moisture themselves and he swallowed hard.

”I'm sorry,” he whispered. ”I'm asking you this because I just want to make sure. I know I was the one who forced you to be in this relationship at first and it's kind of too late to be feeling this way now. I know initially, you hated what I used to be. But Ash, I have you now. Ever since we've been together, I only have you. How much longer should I wait before you deem me qualified to have all of you?”

”What are you saying?” Ash asked back, her own insecurities coming out.

She couldn't understand why he was saying these things. Her fears surfaced that she wanted to lash out.

”You're the one who couldn't give all yourself to me,” she continued accusingly remembering the phone call. She wasn't the only one in his heart and it enraged her as much as it hurt her.

”I don't understand,” Alex answered as he searched his lover's face.

Ashley was crying now and she looked like she really had something against him which he couldn't comprehend.

”What's on your mind?” he asked and when it looked like she wouldn't tell him, he got angry.

Very angry.

”Don't stop now. I don't understand. Tell me what you're thinking,” Alex told his lover who turned away from him. ”What do you mean by me not giving my all?” he demanded again, his voice low, obviously trying to control his rage boiling just beneath the surface. ”Tell me now!”

”You're having an affair!” Ash screamed back at him and Alex blinked several times in shock.

”I'm…what?” he asked weakly as he searched her tearstained face.

”You're having an affair. You've been going out a lot. You've been going home late. You're even having secret phone calls – I heard you flirting on the phone just a while ago,” Ash added which dumbfounded her fiancé.

”You…” Alex was at a loss for words.

He raked his hair with his fingers in frustration as he tried to absorb her words.

”What the hell are you talking about? If you remember, I didn't want to go out with my friends. You were the one who made me go out,” he pointed out and Ash flinched as if struck. ”I go home late every day lately because mom wanted us to discuss the wedding details over and over. I just didn't bring you with me because we had tons of work at the office and you've been very tired lately.”

When Ashley's eyes widened, Alex's jaws clenched.

”That's right. I was at my parents' house choosing china, and food, and wine and other gazillion things we need for Tuesday.”

”But the phone call…” Ashley's voice trailed off as Alex fished his cellphone from his pocket and threw it on the sofa next to her.

”Check it,” he ordered and when Ash seemed reluctant to do so, he repeated his order. ”Check it and see for yourself!”

With trembling hands, Ash took the phone and click on the call history. ”MOM,” was the latest call and she frowned as she scrolled down and all she ever saw were familiar numbers – mostly hers, Ashley's.

”You called your mom,” she said in wonder noting the time of the call which matched the time she overheard her lover's conversation.

Ash misunderstood. The person Alex said I love you to was his mother. Feeling ashamed of herself, she bowed her head. Alex, on the other hand, wasn't finished.

”You…you're never going to forgive me for what I used to be,” he stated in resignation with a smile filled with heartbreak, and Ash lifted her head, her lips opening to protest but Alex waved her off. ”It's okay. I guess it's really my fault. If I didn't have any proof, I guess you won't believe me.”

”That's not true!” Ash protested now.

She didn't want Alex to think that but bit her lips since it was a lie. A part of her still feared Alex didn't change, and she couldn't change either because of it.