Chapter 63 - I Like You (1/2)

”Do not close the book, huh?”

Yanee felt the familiar cynical reaction within her bubble up but didn't outright reject what Chummy said. She was aware; she knew. It's not good to generalize. Still…

”Chummy?” She softly called out her friend's name.

The other lady still hugged her from behind the chair. ”Yeah?”

”I know that I have only been hurt by one person. It's very illogical for me to be jaded after just one bad experience,” Yanee began.

She knew that for some people, her dislike for romance was an overreaction. It's not like she was the same as other women who had been hurt over and over again. No. Aside from that one relationship, she never had any other. It's why even she couldn't understand her own aversion – why it was so strong.

Sometimes even she, herself, thought that she was being petty. But if she was going to be honest with herself, she had always known the answer. She was scared. She didn't want to feel that numbing pain again.

”But you know what? What that one person did hurt a lot and I can't forget. It took a while for me to be okay again. Is it very unreasonable of me not to want to have anything to do with something that hurt me before?”

”Yanee, do you know I'm scared silly of dentists and doctors?” Chummy suddenly asked as she walked around the chair to sit on the one opposite her.

It was so out of the blue and she was grinning like a fool that Yanee was not sure if she was seriously asking her that question or not. The vulnerability she felt earlier vanished as she cleared her throat to answer.

”Yes.”

Chummy had a master's degree in skipping appointments with dentists and doctors. She was truly terrified of them. If she was really in need of treatment, she had to be sedated else she'd go into panic. But why was she asking something that they both already knew?

”Do you know why?” Chummy prompted and Yanee inclined her head.

”Er… You saw your grandma being intubated at her hospital room,” she answered as she looked at Chummy's face which went a bit pale. When Chummy was young, her grandmother got sick and was hospitalized. In the private rooms, the family could freely stay there with the patient. When the young Chummy visited, it was, unfortunately, the time when her grandmother decided to surrender her battle with her illness.

The old lady's vitals crashed and everyone went into a panic as they called the doctors. Chummy unfortunately saw how they tried to revive the old lady and intubated her even but she still died in the end. The image of her poor grandma's fragile body flailing in the midst of people in white coats was engraved in her mind.

”That's right,” Chummy commented with a nod. ”But you know, I'm aware that it's not the doctor's fault my grandma died. She's very sick and old. Still, I'm crazy scared of them.”

Yanee leaned forward so she could pat Chummy's knee. ”That's fine. You were young and you saw something horrifying. It's normal to be traumatized.”

”What?”

”I throw that back at you, friend.” Chummy pointed at her. ”Don't feel bad for being scared of something. Even if it's just that one time, it's a fact that it left a big impression on you. I'm not telling you to glorify your pain, but I don't want you to debase it either. In short, you don't have to feel guilty about feeling like you do. When you get hurt, it takes great courage to try again. It's normal to be reluctant.”

Silence hung between them for a while before Yanee let out a smile. ”Thanks, BFF,” she murmured.

”Why are you thanking me? I'm not yet done, you know?” The way Chummy said sounded as if she was teasing her, but her eyes told Yanee otherwise.

Eh? She's seriously not yet done?

”What is it then?” Yanee asked curiously.

”Do you know the best way to cure trauma is to face your fear and jump ahead?” Chummy asked, her eyes glinting in mischief.

”What are you talking about?” Yanee had a bad feeling about this.

”I mean why don't you go out and start dating again?” Chummy suddenly suggested that Yanee choked on her saliva and coughed.

”Cynthia Tan, I just talked to you about trauma – what the hell are you suggesting?” Yanee was annoyed. ”If it's like that then why don't you go and meet up with a doctor as well, huh? Huh?” she challenged.

Instead of looking frightened as she usually did, Chummy's eyes danced with further mischief as she grinned. ”I already did,” she announced.

EH?

”Seriously?”

”SE.RIOUS.LY,” Chummy answered as she playfully snapped her finger. ”I saw and still seeing a doctor – though I prefer to see him without clothes and his white coat on these days.”

Huh?