Chapter 113: Interlude 8: from past to present (2/2)

But all of it boiled down to one truth.

They were dead...And she, who swore to protect them all, was their killer.

When this reality finally dawned on her, she simply collapsed.

----

A month later, Milia was standing under the shower of her personal room, her expression gaunt as if she hadn't eaten for a long time.

Currently, she was washing her body, again and again. She was washing herself with such a tenacity, that her white skin was slowly becoming redder until it looked like it would tear.

She hated how filthy she still felt.

Even after all this time, she could still feel their hot blood on her face. Hear their screams and curses. What made her feel worse was how even though she hated what she did, she had absolutely no regret.

'I wonder if I am really a monster.'

Thinking so, she stopped the shower. It was time for her to begin her second work.

'As a head maid and nanny.'

---

As she watched the young prince who was only three years old receive a lecture about how to count and read, she couldn't help but chuckle.

She was the sole successful experiment out of two hundred and most likely more.

She was someone who broke through the limits and reached the zone, thereby making her one of the top-class warriors in this country.

She was the leader of the greatest, albeit crippled, dark organization.

Despite this, she was working as the maid and wet nurse of the prince.

This situation was so absurd that it slightly dispersed her brooding mood, even if a little.

She had to admit that she was really attached to the prince. After all, in a sense, she had been the one to raise him until now.

'Even though the way he sucked my milk back then was quite naughty.'

She didn't know if all babies were like this and at first, she had been a little creeped out with how smart he seemed for his age, but she chalked it up to his dragon heritage.

Now though, she always liked how cute his bored expression was when he received lessons he obviously already mastered but had to act like a dumb child.

Those days were quite happy. Despite this, the hole in her heart still seemed unable to be filled.

-----

But one day, as she crouched down to wash the prince while in her maid clothes, she heard him ask.

”Why do you always seem so sad?”

This question sent a tremor in her mind. She was sure that she always perfectly controlled her expressions.

”What makes you think that, your highness?”

”Hum, I don't really know. I guess sometimes you look like you are about to cry. Is something the matter?”

She could have lied here and now and end the discussion. After all, what could such a young child understand? Even though he was far smarter than his age, this didn't matter much in this situation.

Still, she couldn't help but answer

”A lot of people I used to care about aren't here anymore.”

She was quite careful about using the words death. She didn't know if he was already aware of the concept of life and death, and she didn't want to have to explain it if he wasn't.

Still, seeing how his expression went from curious to shocked than sad, it seemed that he did understand what she really meant.

”I see. It must have been hard, right?”

The prince, so small she could take him in her arms, tiptoed and patted her head with his wet and warm hand as if calming a young child.

”You know, I don't have anyone here either. They say that only people who share the same pain can understand each other. So I guess you are family now?”

His words made no sense to her. What about the queen, the saint, or even the princess? How could a child even utter such words?

Still, even though pitifully childish and naive, even though completely senseless, those words struck a chord deep in her heart, breaking a tightly strung one.

Closing her eyes, Milia for the first time bawled like a little girl while laughing as she watched the little prince's shocked expression at her sudden outburst.

Sometimes, people didn't need deep words full of meaning and sagesse.

What mattered more than anything was using the right words at the right times.

----

[12 YEARS LATER]

Since that day, she more or less retired from her functions as the leader of the crown's shadow and spent most of her time taking care of him and observing him.

All his actions.

All his little gestures.

All his expressions.

All his words.

She laughed when she saw the princess follow him around like a little duck.

She helped him when he received the little pup as his first slave.

She felt sad when she saw his frustrated expression after failing to use his sword.

Sadness, happiness, tears, expectations, stress, worries. A myriad of expressions filled her.

Slowly, she watched the little cute baby turn into a handsome and admirable young man.

Slowly, her bedroom became more and more filled with different objects belonging to him.

Slowly, her feelings of affection toward him became more and more distorted. Changing from the feeling a mother had towards her child to the feeling a woman had for a man.

Then one day, she received an order from the queen,

”Milia, do you think you could find someone to help Sol become an adult, if you understand what I mean?”

That day, her distortions finally found the perfect outlet.

Smiling, she gracefully bowed down and answered,

”I have the perfect candidate in mind.”

The rest is history.

*****

(AN: With this. Milia story is finished. Just two special chapter to close this volume. Hope you liked it.)