Chapter 605 - Did I Fail as Your Husband? (1/2)
Jinde observed Leng Jin Yu's expression and frowned. ”Just what are you thinking about? You're looking so … unhappy.”
Leng Jin Yu sighed. ”I guess I can't hide anything from you.” He got up and walked over to the window, sighing. ”It's just … I feel inadequate. I didn't notice before while we were staying here without any worries, just spending our days leisurely, maybe being interrupted by my Master every now and then and some tasks cropping up in the sect that I needed to attend to. But today …” He sighed again and turned back to look at Jinde. ”If it concerns the gods, I know a little. If it concerns the dragons, then I know almost nothing. If it's about a matter like this, involving so many people and all the different races, then I'm helpless. There is nothing I can do for you while …” He stopped. Bringing up Xin Lan certainly wasn't the way to go. This person meant a lot to Jinde and he didn't want to get between them. Being jealous wasn't what he should do.
Jinde smiled. ”I'm not feeling much different.”
”Mn?”
”Back then …” He took a deep breath and got up, walking over to Leng Jin Yu and cupping his cheeks. ”When Chun Yin and I were young I often imagined how life might be when we finally got together. The things I thought of weren't much different from the way we already lived. Just that … I thought we might be even closer.”
”Your meaning is …?”
”We spent our youth training our magic and our sword arts, running around outside, hunting and doing some miscellaneous tasks. There was never a long stretch of time that we spent quietly at our Master's palace. And then … things happened and the following years were spent being king. Every day was me committing myself to my duty. I had almost no time to myself, not to speak of caring for someone close to me. Not that … It's as if I had a lover back then so it's not that strange.”
Jinde tiptoed and kissed his husband. ”It's different now. And sometimes I wonder if this is what you desire. This kind of life … am I doing it right?”
Leng Jin Yu's lips parted but he didn't know what to say. Jinde's requests each day were often ridiculous but he had never loathed even a single moment. Even if Jinde asked him to braid his hair a hundred times a day, he wouldn't deny him. He didn't mind what he did as long as it was with the person he loved. To think Jinde was unsure about this …
”I'm sorry. Not noticing you felt like this … I'm a bad husband.”
Jinde smiled and wrapped his arms around Leng Jin Yu's neck. ”Maybe I'm just a good liar. You know I'm afraid. Even Chun Yin left me, despite being a dragon and binding his soul to me. Now, you're a human. You can fall in love more than once. Maybe if I do things wrong, you'll grow tired of me one day and then leave me for somebody else.”
”I wouldn't.”
”You can't know that. But that's why I don't want to do anything wrong. I want to be with you. Not just today or tomorrow but forever. The longer I stay with you, the surer I am. So that's why … seeing you deep in thought but not understanding what it is that you think … It makes me uncomfortable. I can't help but worry in such moments.”
Leng Jin Yu smiled and hugged Jinde's waist. ”I'm jealous.”
”Ah?”