Chapter 661 - The Person That Can Make Me Happy (1/2)

Xin Lan didn't stop to massage Jinde's shoulders but he did take a look at his face, holding his gaze for a moment. ”I'm not sure what to do. Should I pretend I'm surprised and ask you just what kind of motive you think I have?”

”Aren't we too old for that already?”

”I would have thought you were too old to get insecure around me either. Does it really bother you so much? To imagine I was … secretly thinking of you?”

”So you were?” Jinde raised his chin, his golden brows arching above his eyes. He wouldn't let Xin Lan get away with skirting around the subject like this. He had to get the truth.

Xin Lan returned his gaze and sighed. ”You know how I think about you. You're beautiful. And I … You've said it yourself when you talked to your husband. I appreciate beauty. Naturally, I have always thought the same about yours.” His fingers stopped moving and finally, he picked up one of the golden strands hanging down Jinde's back. ”You found me when I was at my lowest. I was prepared to die. I didn't mind the thought of it. In fact, I thought it might be better. I had been alone for far too long, I was always different from them. Even leaving the capital and traveling around hadn't changed any of that. Wherever I went, things were the same.”

”I know that.”

”You know but do you understand? It only changed when you picked me up that day. For a short while … I could feel like a normal man.”

Jinde nodded. ”I know. It's my fault.”

”Your fault?” Xin Lan chuckled. ”It was what saved my life. More so than you patching me up. You …” He reached up and cupped the beautiful face he had dreamed about so often. ”You gave me hope. Hope and a task. I never minded that we couldn't be together. I mean … I would have liked it if we could but you already told me back then, that you were in love already. I do understand that that makes it impossible. Since then I haven't expected anything. I don't expect anything now either. It's just that …” He sighed and let go, leaning back with a wistful smile. ”You're still as beautiful as back then. In fact, you're even more gorgeous now than you were back then. And I … I'm a lonely man. Can't I have my thoughts?”

Jinde sighed. ”Can't you have your thoughts about somebody else? What about that —”

”Don't mention him. I don't appreciate being lumped together with somebody just because it would be convenient.”

”I see. Then I won't. Although I do think that things might work out between the two of you.” His lips curved up and he leaned closer to Xin Lan, his golden eyes twinkling. ”The only one who hasn't been cursed and a fallen god. What a pair you'd make!”