Chapter 663 - Taking a Break (1/2)

Xin Lan stared after him his hand still hovering in the air. That was supposed to be a turn-off? Then why did he feel like … he hadn't gotten nearly enough? Just brushing against his lips like this … Couldn't he have given him a real kiss if he decided to do this? One he could savor until he was satisfied?

Xin Lan sighed and shook his head. This was as much as he could ever hope for. And, well, now, he wouldn't have to continue asking himself what would have happened if Chun Yin hadn't barged in back then or at least had taken a bit longer.

This was probably the kind of kiss they would have shared. Something … fleeting without much substance. A kiss given out of sheer hopelessness because there was no other alternative anymore.

He sighed again, finally lowering his hand. His Master truly knew him too well. This kind of kiss was probably the only thing that could make him give up. It really … was a kind of turn-off.

Maybe being with Jinde could make him happy but on the other hand … If Jinde had gotten together with him, he would have been hurt. Because other than the madness Jian Heng drove him to that finally ended in one big disaster that almost cost his life, a relationship with him would have made him die a little bit each day until he would have closed his eyes forever out of depression. That wasn't the kind of end he wanted for the person he loved.

Xin Lan's lips curved in a rare smile and he followed Jinde out of the room, finding him in the doorway to the courtyard. He went over, stopping two steps behind him like he had always done but this time, he didn't feel bitter about it. At least not as much as he had before. No, it was time to accept this. Just because he thought Jinde was good for him, it didn't mean that he was good for Jinde. And if he truly loved him … he wouldn't think about this any longer. He would let go and do what his Master had said: Live his life and be open just in case something new happened. Maybe there really was somebody out there he could fall in love with.

Jinde turned back and raised his brows.

”It's alright. I understand now.”

”That's not even what I wanted to say.”

Xin Lan also raised his brows. He didn't understand. If that wasn't what he wanted, then …

”We have a problem.” Jinde motioned outside and stepped to the side to make way for Xin Lan.

”Did that guy make a mess out of the courtyard?” Xin Lan frowned and passed by his Master. When he looked into the courtyard … ”Where is he?”