Part 11 (1/2)

Inti courement disappeared with familiarity Beauty queens becaurement disappeared with familiarity Beauty queens became ordinary; leprosy patients did, too

I had spentmyself with beautiful people And I s A childhood accident left two oblong scars in the center of my forehead Just after my first birthday, while my babysitter talked on the phone, I tumbled down five concrete steps at Avent Acres apart while my father attended law school at Ole Miss) The injuries weren't the kind of cuts that stitches could repair; the rough edge of the concrete scraped the skin off my forehead My mother called it concrete burn A physician covered the injuries with gauze and sent us hoauze and with it ca scars now dominated my forehead

Until I was almost ten years old, I was oblivious to the peculiar nize their oddity, I went to extraordinary lengths to hide theh to cover my forehead, and I constantly pressed my hair down to ensure the scars were hidden I lowered li swie from underwater perfectly perpendicular soschool pictures, photographers would come at me with a cos and tell them I liked my hair this way

At home, locked inside htly scars Keeping my forehead constantly covered was inconvenient, but the alternative was unthinkable Others ht find the blemishes abnormal Maybe even repulsive In front of the ed skin

In the surades ed to have the scars repaired by a plastic surgeon During the preliminary exam, the doctor pinched and prodded the scar tissue and assured me that when he was finished the hairline scars left behind would blend in perfectly with the wrinkles that formed in my forehead when I raised my eyebrows The procedure took less than thirtyout the oval scar tissue and pulled the skin together with the final sutures, he gently pressed a piece of gauze over the incisions

”That isn't going to stick to the scab, is it?”

He held up a tube of ointment and instructed me to apply it to the scars twice a day

For the first ti different, and I felt light because I had left liness behind

But this imprisonment and the label ”ex-con” would follow me for life

I had no idea how people would treatwith iven anyone the chance

I didn't tell Ella that her physical defects were disappearing for y I had put intoan impression, how many people I had hurt, and howan illusion

”I wanted everyone to think I was perfect,” I said, as if I'd had sootta worry about that no ht My conviction had been splashed across the front pages of newspapers It had been the top story of the evening news The scandal rocked my hometown The behaviors I had developed to hide business setbacks, cash shortfalls, and any hint of failure were exposed on April 9, 1992 A Thursday

The Coast Magazine Coast Magazine offices were unusually quiet And e sales syton state, had flown in to lead a motivational seminar for my staff offices were unusually quiet And e sales syton state, had flown in to lead a motivational seminar for my staff

I received a phone call from Albert Dane, my loan officer at Hancock Bank Albert had helped our coed for equip He was a friend and supporter of our business

”You need to come down to the bank,” Albert said I looked at the clock The bank had just opened for theI asked if there were some problem ”You just need to come down here,” he repeated

I packed my briefcase and checked the notes I'd made the day before at the bottom of my planner-a 419,000 check written on the Hancock Bank account; 345,000 drawn on Peoples Bank I hoped solitch had come to the bank's attention that could easily be resolved But I knew better Albert wouldn't call if the neeren't awful

I looked out of myat the panoraulf were bright and clear in the ht

On my walk to Hancock Bank, I passed the offices where randfather had practiced lao blocks dohere I had visitedoffice of Mississippi Power Five generations of my family had lived and worked in Gulfport as attorneys, teachers, surveyors, and entrepreneurs This was azine depicted the region without its bleic mirror that reflected away any imperfections

I walked slowly I wanted to remember how Gulfport felt, and how the town felt about ood in, I wondered if I would have tiet investors to cover the loss, like I did in Oxford

I stepped onto an escalator that led to the second-floor mezzanine, the main bank floor As thefor me at the top He directed me to the conference roos about loans, equipment leases, and acquisitions

I sat at one end of the large oval conference table Albert sat at the other, as if he wanted to be as far away from me as possible A woman I had never seen sat to his left He looked down at the table as he toldan audit He stah before the auditors arrived Then he looked up ”It's co checks”

I felt the blood rush into my face I felt hot all over But I acted as if I didn't knohat that meant

”Best we can determine,” he said, ”the checks total somewhere around a ht it better to be perceived as stupid than criminal I looked down at the table I was ashamed

Albert read me the bank's policy They would not accept any deposits that were not in cash They would notify the FBI They would notify the other banks on the coast They would not entertain any loans They would begin foreclosure on any liens on my assets Then, he added that my uncle Knox, the bank's primary attorney, had been made aware of my actions

As we left the conference room, I told Albert I was sure I could cover the overdraft

Looking at the floor and turning away froht”

As I rode the escalator down to street level, I considered what I could do And for the first ti That nothing, ever again, would be the same

CHAPTER 37

On a crisp fall day, bundled in a heavy jacket, I waited in line behind four other inmates for the pay phone Linda and the kids had returned to New Orleans from their trip to Oxford and I was anxious to hear about it Linda accepted the collect call and spoke longingly of the simple life a small town afforded She had so many old friends in Oxford And her fa back,” she said

”What?”

”I' to Oxford”

I understood her impulse She would be near friends, in a safe town, out of the French Quarter, away froie

I worried that a twelve-hour round-trip would keep Linda and our kids fro me A move to Oxford didn't make sense-the kids' school tuition in New Orleans had been paid; Linda was living rent-free Another ie Not toover in a tohere I had left such a mess

”I can't move back there,” I told Linda

She didn't answer