Volume I Part 14 (1/2)

When they have learned in what a state of desolation I found ality and waste which was bringing our fa on these trifles Heads heated by anger and resentment are only too ready to invent false accusations; and I shall soon be a the three years I spent abroad This is why I a the plain truth aboutin Dal the whole world kno reater shame to pretend to possess more than I really own Riches have always seeination If I cast my eyes on a carpenter, then raise the, I obtain convincing demonstration of the fact that he alone is rich who has the mental wealth--to be contented with his lot Alas! that only I and nise this truth

My three years were over The new Provveditore Generale, Jacopo Boldu, arrived in Dalmatia, and received the staff of office with the usual formalities from his Excellency Quirini In my moments of leisure I had composed several poems in honour of the latter, and had procured others fro which I then possessed, sewed theether, added a respectful dedication, and had them bound in a fine velvet cover Then I paid my respects to his Excellency in company with my friend Massiil, nor was I born in the golden age of Augustus Only ine that verses could be anything worth offering as a gift

The Cavaliere accepted my donation with affability He said: ”I thank you At least I have the ithal to show that, while a member of my Court, you have remained at school”

Afterwards I learned that he made a present of this book to the Very Eminent Cardinal, his uncle, Bishop of Brescia His Excellency inquired whether I preferred to return to Venice or to stay in Dal the post of cadet noble of cavalry on ed hiraciously accepted

Some one else than I would have looked around for testiht have keptpay upon the ent Government But I had renounced the e upon the public treasury Our Prince I regarded as a common father, but did not think it just to saddle him with thievish sons, each one of whom by coaxed protections, adulations, hypocrisies, and the vilest offices, eats into the coht to be reserved for urgent needs I was a poor lad, with a debt of 200 ducats; but I knew that the services rendered to the State by me constituted no claim upon the public purse If I was poor, this ca too many in our family and from the maladministration of our property

My wants were moderate I flattered ement of the estate; and I felt sure that my father, paralysed and speechless as he ould never refuse to pay the trifling debt I had contracted Meanwhile it is not i after I left Dalmatia

Somebody may have pocketed my pay and pilfered from the treasury to this extent I was not responsible for this, and had no right to inquire into the matter, since I never asked to be cashi+ered in form Poor I was, poor I am, and poor I expect to die At any rate, I am sure that I should die in desperation if I felt on my deathbed that I had earned a fortune by deceit, injustice, and intrigue

It was in the alley of his Excellency Wind and weather were against us After a painful voyage of twenty-two days, we cathanks to the Cavaliere who had brought me back, I set off for our ancestral nor Massimo, whom I had invited to stay with me upon his way to Padua There I hoped to be able to payhis sojourn in Venice

XV

_Disagreeable discoveries relating to our family affairs, which dissipate all illusions I alley for the ancient ho into freedo able to ht prove ill-founded

We reached the entrance, and azed onder at the stately structure of the mansion, which has really all the appearance of a palace As a connoisseur of architecture, he con I answered, what indeed he was about to discover by experience, that attractive exteriors sometimes mask discomfort and annoyance He had plenty of ti loudly at the house-door I ht as well have knocked at the portal of a sepulchre At last a woel of this wilderness, ran to open To , that the family were in Friuli, but that e had now been brought froan to ascend a handsome marble staircase No one could have expected that this fine flight of steps would lead to squalor and the haunts of indigence Yet on sur the last stair this hat revealed itself The stone floors orn into holes and fissures, which spread in all directions like a cancer The brokenpanes let blasts from every point of the cohty chaed, s in tatters Not a piece rerandfather had bequeathed as heirlooms to the family I only saw some portraits offroazed at h inquiring how the wealth which they had gathered for their offspring had been dissipated

I have hitherto omitted to mention that our family archives contain an old woristered the tenths[128] paid to the public treasury Frorandfather was taxed on upwards of ten thousand ducats of incos; yet the recollection of thosedown upon me in the squalor of our ancient habitation prompts me to tell an idle truth

nobody will be the wiser for it; certainly none of our posterity in this prodigal age My grandfather left an only son and a good estate settled in tail on heirs-male in perpetuity Four excellent residences, all of them well-furnished, one in Venice, another in Padua, another in Pordenone, another in the Friulian country-town of Vicinate, were included in this entail, as appears from his last will and testament

Little did he think that the sole on the living

I had informed my friend Massimo of the exact state of our affairs at home, so far as these were known to rave disasters which had happened in norance as yet The news that my two elder sisters had been married inclinedCruel deception wrapped me round, and a hundred speechless but eloquent , from the walls and chambers ofI broke, as usual, into laughter, and gaily beggedhim to such a wretched hostelry I assured hi, and engaged him in conversation, while we roamed around its chambers, every nook of which increased my mirth by some new aspect of dilapidation

Then I bade him refresh his spirits with a survey of the noble facade; till at last we settled down as well as circumstances permitted Two days afterwards, er I had brought to share our hospitality, frankly expressing ations to him as a friend Upon this we established ourselves in a little society of three, enlivened by the conversation of my brother, who, even with a fever on him, never failed to be witty

Gasparo and I were anxiously awaiting an opportunity to talk alone like brothers afterabsence When the moment came, I inquired after my poor father, our mother, and the circumstances of the family What I had already seen on reeable news I had to hear With his usual philosophy, but not without an occasional sign of painful e details The faic straits Our father lived on, but speechless and paralytic, in the same state as when I left him My two elder sisters, Marina and Giulia, were married respectively to the Conte Michele di Prata and the Conte Giovan-Daniele di Montereale About ten thousand ducats had been promised for their dowries To raise this sum, such and such portions of the estate had been sold, and a debt of more than two thousand ducats had been contracted A lawsuit was pending between the fa part of the dowry still due to him Our other three sisters, Laura, Girolaave reat annoyance, that it would be impossible to liquidatedetails did not nation of the post of cadet noble in the cavalry A few days later, Signor Massimo left for Padua, with the assurance that his two hundred ducats would be paid in course of time by me Upon this matter he only expressed the sentiments of cordial friendshi+p

It was not too late in the season for a visit to the country I felt a strong desire to reach Friuli, and to kiss the hands of ether with iant's fortitude, which was not long in being put to proof

XVI

_Fresh discoveries regarding the condition of our family--Vain hopes and wasted will to be of use--I abandon myself to my old literary studies_

Our country-house had been originally constructed on an old-fashi+oned, roos It was now reduced to one of those dilapidated farms, which I have described in my burlesque poem _La Marfisa Bizzarra_, canto xii, stanza 126[129]