Volume II Part 31 (1/2)
”Will you not tell me why you wish it? I _can_ ive it to any one, and above all to you”
”Why to _ to hear all that azed at her for one moment; a suspicion (which, had it been a certainty, would have failed to turn azed, and it was enough; I felt there was nothing I needed fear to know,--that child had never sinned against her soul I therefore said, more carelessly than just then I felt:
”Miss Leood, because you are innocent It is not everybody who is either of these, and very few indeed are all the three I will not have you talk just now, unless, indeed, you can tell ht my resources are, but you need not fear to trust me”
”If you did let me talk, what should I say? But you have told a lie,--or rather, I ifts are such as nobody really cares for I am innocent? I am _not_ innocent; and for the other word you used, I do not think I ought to speak it,--it no s to me than beauty or than happiness”
”All that is beautiful belongs to all who love it, thank God, Miss Lemark, or I should be very poor indeed in that respect But why are you so angry with yourself because, having gone through too er happy? It h I have felt it”
”_You_ regret it,--you to regret anything!” said Laura, haughtily, her hauteur striking through her paleness reproachfully ”You--a man! I would sell my soul, if I have a soul, to be a man, to be able to live towhat nobody cares for”
”If we live to ourselves, we men,--if I may call myself a man,--we are not less tormented, and not less because ive themselves relief in softer sorrow My dear Miss Lemark, it appears to rief or joy, it matters not which, we are very much to blame, and more to be pitied There is ever a hope, even for the hopeless, as they think themselves; how much more for those who need not and must not despair! And those who are born with the most hopeful temper find that they cannot exist without faith”
”That is the way the people always talk who have everything the world can give the they wish for; who have all their love cared for; whotrampled on You are the most enviable person in the whole world except one, and I do not envy her, but I do envy you”
”Very a, yet smiled it down ”You see all this is a conjecture on your part; you cannot knohat I feel, nor is it for you to say that because I am a man I can have exactly what I please Very possibly, precisely because I am a man, I cannot But anyhow, I shall not betray myself, nor is it ever safe to betray ourselves, unless we cannot help it”
”I do not care about betraying myself; I am miserable, and I _will_ have comfort,--comfort is for theyou, however soft it may chance to be”
”I should hate a soft heart's comfort; I would not take it It is because you are not soft-hearted I want yours”
”I would willingly bestow it upon you if I kne; but you know that Keble says: ”Whom oil and balsams kill, what salve can cure?'”
”I do not know Keble”
”Then you ought to cultivate his acquaintance, Miss Leentleman”
I wished at once to twist the subject aside and to h dispels more mental trouble than any tears at times But, contrary to expectation on my part, , without warning, nor did she hide her face, as those for the most part do who must shed their tears She sobbed openly, aloud; and yet her sorrow did not inspire me with contempt, for it was as unsophisticated as any child's It was evident she had not been accusto, and knew not how to restrain its expression, neither that it ought to be restrained I ht,--in the rain the storm exhaled She wiped away her tears, but they yet pearled the long, pale lashes as she resuht not to say these things; but it would be better if you could preventthem”
”No one can prevent that, Miss Lenify what you feel, if you can prevent its interfering with your duty to others and to yourself”
”You to talk of duty,--you, who possess every delight that the earth contains, and hoels!”
”I have hts would fail An artist, I consider, Miss Lemark, has the especial duty imposed upon hi in the universe to God, after nature; and his life must be tolerably pure for that”
”That is just it But it is easy enough to do right when you have all that your heart wants and your ”
”Miss Lemark, you are an artist”
”You know very well how you despise such art as mine, even if I did my duty by that; but I do not, and that is what I want co else!”
”I would have you tell erous,--at least, I should find it so”