Vol 4 Chapter 5 (1/2)

Chapter 5: This Sorry Mess

(translated by NanoDesu Also please see note [2] at the bottom!)

What tiht, but he had no grasp on what time it was exactly

But, they had already been here for quite a long while

They were in Northern Altana, on Flower Park Road [1] Why was it called Flower Park Road? Haruhiro had no idea Maybe far in the past, at so like that?

Flower Park Road extended all the way from the city marketplace, and there were inns lined up on both sides of the road as well as its side road Near the road’s entrance point, there were many tasteful inns meant for te the road, you could seeinns that is But once you passed those, you would seeinns, until you got to the district outskirts and were treated to the sight of worn-down crus

Haruhiro’s group had just turned off Flower Park onto its side road, and were standing in front of a so-so looking inn

At first, he had been standing, but at this point he was sluainst the inn’s outer wall Haruhiro was, that is

But she was still standing

They were both co had it been since so? Haruhiro felt like it was quite a while back He couldn’t even remember what had been said back then Neither she nor Haruhiro were really the type to start blabbing on and on in the midst of silence Both of them were just too reserved for that, he supposed, or maybe too introverted

Haruhiro was huddled over and holding one knee in his aran to think Were the two of them really so incoave each other any push nor pull Nothing happened Conversation was a moot point

This ay too aard Haruhiro wished the other person would just say so, really Whatever she said, he would try hard to follow up andBut ? Why was she just so silent this entire ti?

Okay Got it I’ll do it I’ll do this for you Yeah, what’s the haro?

“Umm… hey, shi+horu?”

“… Y-Yes…?”

“How you holding up?”

“… I’ht”

“Oh, okay”

“Yeah”

And that was that

That was the end of the spark of conversation Haruhiro had exhausted so much effort to strike up

What the hell was that? Give me a break Come on, let’s try a bit harder please Coht?

Why was he here alone with shi+horu in the first place? Well, it wasn’t technically a reason, but Haruhiro could recount the course of events that led to this First, they needed to get in touch with Mary to settle all accounts and divvy up the spoils from the last operation Ranta had sostoday), while Yume was too funya-funya to be of much use (whatever that meant) Meanwhile, shi+horu seemed to be in decent health and also knehere Mary was staying, so they had left the inn together Also, ifin a woman-only establishment, so it would be weird if Haruhiro just went to visit hirateful that shi+horu had offered to tag along But that was the only thing he was grateful for

It wasn’t that he didn’t like shi+horu But he would be lying to say she was his first choice to be alone with

They just didn’t reat combo They didn’t mesh with each other That was all In other words, they weren’t compatible

shi+horu was probably feeling this just as much as Haruhiro was And it wasn’t like Haruhiro wanted this state of affairs to continue just because their personalities weren’t very co to do hten the atmosphere either They had coone to check at Sherry’s Tavern, realized she wasn’t there either, and then come back here to wait… this entire time, shi+horu had barely talked Even when Haruhiro asked her so, she would respond with only a word or two That was all What kind of ga exactly?

Sigh… Haruhiro heard a rush of breath

Was she also feeling frustrated with all this? But later, Haruhiro would think that perhaps the frustration hat let her break the silence

“I…” shi+horu began to speak in a quiet voice

Haruhiro looked up at her She was gripping her shoulders, trehtly

“I… you know… I thought if I said this… you all would think I’ just fine”

“Just fine…?” repeated Haruhiro

“I’ like all the others I’uess…”

“Is that… so…?”

“It’s awful, right? I’uess for zo died… but more in shock that I’ Makes me think I’m a bad person…”

“That’s not…”

That’s not true, he wanted to counter, but could he really? Mogzo had died, but she wasn’t shocked? That was impossible They were all coh thick and thin Mogzo was a precious, precious companion, the axis around which their party spun Why wasn’t she in shock…?

But, it seemed that shi+horu herself didn’t knohat to make of this It would be natural for her to feel such intense sadness and feeling of loss here that her chest would be bursting at the seams, but she was confused that this was not the case And she couldn’t forgive herself for feeling this way… she was in pain over it… ahh, he understood

It was Manato

This was only Haruhiro’s educated guess, but shi+horu was probably feeling this way because of what had happened to Manato

shi+horu had likely been in love with Manato And the person she had fallen head over heels for had died shi+horu had most likely taken his death harder than anybody else Of course, shi+horu also felt pain at Mogzo’s passing, but it wasn’t as bad in comparison

She had become used to pain Even if she hadn’t wanted to become used to it, it happened naturally

That hat she’d had to do to continueon

As long as you lived, these are the experiences you would continue to go through Again and again and again

If you got knocked down every ti like that happened and found it hard to stand back up again, then going on with life would become very difficult

To be honest… to be honest, even Haruhiro wasn’t as utterly duzo had died That didn’tswell, but he could at least try toto do the sazo’s mee it into a reneill to live, then…

Haruhiro was trying to live Call hi

shi+horu was probably the sa her strength to try to live onwards

“I don’t think you’re horrible Or a bad person I’lad you came with me actually, that you’re here with me That’s what I really think”

shi+horu looked like she wanted to say soaze Her shoulders started tre to hold back tears After a bit of time, shi+horu sniffled once

“… I’lad you’re here, Haruhiro That’s… what I really think”

“Oh, that’s… thanks And I zo… I …”

Haruhiro held his head in his hands He felt incredibly euilt at how embarrassed he felt To be honest, at this point, whenever he had a nice ht of sleep, Haruhiro felt an urge to apologize to Mogzo Even though apologizing wouldn’t acco

Eventually, this prickling pain in his chest would probably go away, too

He would get used to the pain