Part 5 (1/2)
Tuesday, November 16th, 1875
I left Nice to-day with my aunt, I was ready to cry every instant
”Do you want a pillow?” she asked
”No”
”Are you ill?”
”No”
”But you look so pale”
”I am tired”
”You must be ill; where do you feel pain?”
”Everywhere!--Co”
”Ah!”
”Oh! there is nothing like the rolling of a carriage to give ideas”
”Aha! That's different; well, well, I didn't know”
And she left me to compose at my ease Then, after a silence:
”Why did A---- turn so pale when P---- began to sing: 'Knowst thou the land?'”
”How could you have seen? For my part, I can never notice whether a person turns pale or blushes”
”Yes, you, because you can't see at a distance, but I can He turned as white as a sheet when she sang: 'There would I fain live!'”
”I saw nothing”
Wednesday, Noveed since Monday I don't wish to die, no matter where and no matter how, and I have since been ashamed of myself I meant to trifle with thewith me This insult, joined to the wrath I feel for my weakness Monday, makessecured any accommodations at the Grand Hotel, so we took rooms at the Hotel Splendide
”Is it worth while to choose for a hero a miserable Nice scamp like that A----?” said my aunt, ”and to write a lot of stuff about hi of the matter, and that is very fortunate I do think of him, and yet if he loved me, I would not consent to be his wife No one in the household considered him a suitable match They noticed him because I was interested in hiave me pleasure, yet if I said I wanted to marry him they would thinkof a throne for me So I don't want toto Rome If I stayed in Nice I could not work; I should only tor hireatly, especially since it has seemed to me, and I am almost sure of it, that he is not madly in love with me, I have not been able to read a book or practise an hour on the piano