Part 23 (1/2)
Whether Master and I were surrounded by his students or by strangers, or were alone together, he always spoke plainly and upbraided sharply No trifling lapse into shallowness or inconsistency escaped his rebuke This flattening treatment was hard to endure, but my resolve was to allow Sri Yukteswar to iron out each of ical kinks As he labored at this titanic transforht of his disciplinary hammer
”If you don't like my words, you are at liberty to leave at any ti from you but your own improvement Stay only if you feel benefited”
For every hu blow he dealt my vanity, for every tooth in rateful beyond any facility of expression The hard core of hued except rudely With its departure, the Divine finds at last an unobstructed channel In vain It seeks to percolate through flinty hearts of selfishness
Sri Yukteswar's wisdo that, heedless of remarks, he often replied to one's unspoken observation ”What a person iines he hears, and what the speaker has really ihts behind the confusion of ht is painful to worldly ears; Master was not popular with superficial students The wise, always few in number, deeply revered hihtafter guru in India had his words not been so candid and so censorious
”I a,” he admitted to me
”That is my way; take it or leave it I will never compromise But you will be much kinder to your disciples; that is your way I try to purify only in the fires of severity, searing beyond the average toleration The gentle approach of love is also transfiguring The inflexible and the yielding methods are equally effective if applied isdon lands, where blunt assaults on the ego are not appreciated A teacher could not spread India's e in the West without an ample fund of accommodative patience and forbearance” I refuse to state the amount of truth I later cah Sri Yukteswar's undisse his years on earth, nevertheless his living spirit h sincere students of his KRIYA YOGA and other teachings He has further dominion in men's souls than ever Alexander dreamed of in the soil
Father arrived one day to pay his respects to Sri Yukteswar My parent expected, very likely, to hear so account of my iligible shortcoravity Father rushed to see ht to find you a cohter
The only cause of Sri Yukteswar's displeasure at the tientle hint, to convert a certain ht out h conscious of guilt It was the only time I ever saw the divine lion meek before me The unique e me so mercilessly before my astounded father? Was that just?”
”I will not do it again” Master's tone was apologetic
Instantly I was disarh he never again upset Father's peace of mind, Master relentlessly continued to dissect me whenever and wherever he chose
New disciples often joined Sri Yukteswar in exhaustive criticisuru! Models of flawless discrimination!
But he who takes the offensivestudents fled precipitantly as soon as Master publicly unloosed in their direction a few shafts from his analytical quiver
”Tender inner weaknesses, revolting at mild touches of censure, are like diseased parts of the body, recoiling before even delicate handling” This was Sri Yukteswar's ahty ones
There are disciples who seek a guru e Such students often complained that they did not understand Sri Yukteswar
”Neither do you comprehend God!” I retorted on one occasion ”When a saint is clear to you, you will be one” A every second the inexplicable air, who may venture to ask that the fathorasped?
Students caenerally went Those who craved a path of oily synitions did not find it at the her for the aeons, but o-bal life's countless hu rays, the open penetrating sunshi+ne of his wisdoht so thenorance
During my early months with Master, I had experienced a sensitive fear of his reprimands These were reserved, I soon saw, for disciples who had asked for his verbal vivisection If any writhing student made a protest, Sri Yuktesould become unoffendedly silent
His words were never wrathful, but iht was not for the unprepared ears of casual visitors; he seldom remarked on their defects, even if conspicuous But toward students who sought his counsel, Sri Yukteswar felt a serious responsibility Brave indeed is the guru who undertakes to transfore roots in his co eyeless of this world
When I had abandoned underlying resentment, I found a marked decrease in my chastisement In a very subtle way, Master melted into comparative clemency In time I demolished every wall of rationalization and subconscious reservation behind which the huenerally shi+elds itself {FN12-17} The reas an effortless har, considerate, and silently loving Undemonstrative, however, he bestowed no word of affection
My own te at first to find that ly dry of BHAKTI, {FN12-18} expressed himself only in terms of cold spiritual mathematics But as I tuned myself to his nature, I discovered no diminution but rather increase in my devotional approach to God A self-realizednatural lines of their essential bias
My relationshi+p with Sri Yukteswar, somewhat inarticulate, nonetheless possessed all eloquence Often I found his silent signature onbeside hi