Chapter 35 - Growing Resentment (1/2)

Changed the synopsis of the story, if anyone cared..

Also delayed chapter because I sucked at writing his resentment, his hatred. Still do.

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In the dusty courtyard I sat back on the bench as I relaxed, feeling happy as I watched with bright and sparkling eyes the others train while accompanied by my bestest friend and closest buddy Peter! He's my most favorite person in the entire wide world, loyally guarding me from all evil and the big bad guys from the kindness in his heart! He makes me feel so safe in his arms, rea.s.suring gaze watching over me and my blindspots!

..

As if.

I'm really starting to loath him, his eyes are fixated on me as my back p.r.i.c.kles under the onslaught. He's unmoving, unblinking and unwavering as his eyes bore into me, his thoughts seemingly dedicated towards the wors.h.i.+p of evil and directed hate. Praising the demons that delivered me to his molester eyes.

All afternoon my resentment has been growing, from a tiny nugget buried beneath the sands to a blazing furnace that melts even steel. Its been growing as he watched me, and if it wasn't for the farce I have to keep up; I would have killed him already.

A thousand times over.

Watching me as I watch them, his focus on my back like twin rods of steel skewered painfully. If I glance towards him, he smirks. Knowing he's getting a reaction. He knows what he's doing, probably beaten up often as a child by the other kids who found themselves molested by his perverted gaze. Would leave him if I could, but he follows me. He follows me everywhere but my room and the toilets.

Even as I sit on the surprisingly sanitary toilet I suspect he has his ear pressed to my door, listening to my bowel motions with utter fascination. Disgusting.

I want to hurt him, to wipe that smirk off his face. Torture him, make him regret antagonising me. But I have a farce to keep up, a role I have to play. He's going to die, but he's not going to win.

After the quest is finished, my rewards gained. Lets see what we can do about your face shall we? We can pound it in and turn it b.l.o.o.d.y, remove every tooth you have! Can you make a sound if you have no tongue? We can see! Why, if I find a chance I'll use it and get rid of you even earlier!

I dare you to follow me out of the palace when we leave.

I tried to distract myself, I really did. I could see the way Kira and the others trained with their instructors, their levels increasing by the hour. Even approached one of the instructors earlier, asked Josh's instructor if he could train me alongside his student Josh in the art of the sword.

He refused, shook his head. His excuses were flimsy, his eyes glancing towards my antagonist. The b.a.s.t.a.r.d smirked when I looked where the instructor kept glancing, meeting his eyes filled with mocking and cruel thin lips curved upwards.

His face may be handsome, thick head of black hair and a well trimmed beard. But the face he showed was disgusting. Like the evil smile of a man denying the starving orphan his food, knowing the orphan would die.

Josh could see the way I was being unfairly treated, and yet when he protested against it directly to the instructor I waved him off before he could finish his sentence.

Hiding my irritated face as I rea.s.sured him, my smile must have been obviously fake as he frowned. ”Don't worry about it Josh. Its not that big a deal”.

”But-” his brow twisted, not accepting my rea.s.surances.

I waved him off, ”I'm not going to make trouble.”

But really, its because I don't want to face two sources of dislike. Forcing the instructor to bend to my will, that could do it. Turn those who didn't care about me to actively hate me for demanding attention when told no.

If I told the guard to stop following me around, I know he won't listen to me. I can't force him to leave me alone either, not using force. They'll take that as a invitation to attack me. And that'll ruin the quest for a mere moment of satisfaction.

I mean sure, I could always check if Arod's offer was still available and it did make sense to look into. But not yet. This can't go on more than a few days. I'm not stupid either, I've seen the way the mages I've seen have tensed up and watched from the corners of their eyes, faces seeming to show anger as they quickly move on out of sight.

The mages as a group seem to hate me, and they obviously have a lot of influence. I still eat with the others as it means they can't spit in my food, not when that same food is being served to others.

At lunch earlier they tried to carry in bowls of soup, settling them before us. I didn't even use identify on the bowls before noticing that they were deliberately putting a single bowl in front of me.

I quickly grabbed Josh's bowl as it was being set however, and ignoring the maid who hovered behind me uncertainly I motioned towards Josh. ”Give it to him”

She tripped, spilling a little bit of soup. Rus.h.i.+ng out that she had to clean up the bowl, she left the room and returned with a new bowl.

Poisoned? Spat in?

At least it won't happen again.

Something has to break eventually, I can't live with the way things are moving. They are definitely provoking me, irritating me in a attempt to force me to lash out.

I tried to ask about replacing my guard, moving about the palace for anyone in charge. But they ignored me and one s.h.i.+tty mage even smirked as he hurried away. They KNOW what they were doing. They KNEW Peter would do this, what he is like.

Something will break, and its not going to be me.

Meditation helped a lot, but the pressure of his eyes is still there. My emotions are muted, but they are still there. It's unsatisfactory, I can feel my emotions fluctuating and growing even as I try to suppress them under his freaking gaze.

Seriously, what's wrong with him? Why does his eyes effect me?

Its invoking these feelings of.. Brutality in me. Like I want to badly hurt him. How weird is that? I'm normally such a gentle person.. Is his smirk special? The way he completely relaxes as he watches me, the mocking gentleness in his eyes as if he was watching a child? Infuriating he is. Something bad will happen to him someday, I can guarantee it.

Sitting quietly watching them train all day, moving indoors as it began to turn dark to move to another room with the others to eat supper. All day I had endured, from morning till night. Not once did he cease to watch me, his eyes never flickering more than a second before settling back onto my back with almost sigh of relief as if its a strain to look away.

I noticed Arod was at the table, he avoided my gaze though and after finis.h.i.+ng eating he immediately left the table, abandoning me. He looked uncomfortable to even be in my presence. I doubted it was related to the same thing as the mages, more likely to be from the small disagreement we had..

Why does he even eat here? Fancy food?

How shallow.

Just me, four heroes, four instructors and one dead man walking at the table. The corpse-to-be had long finished eating, quietly watching my mouth as I chewed slowly and irritatedly. I was tempted to chew loudly and give tantalizing glimpses of the half-eaten contents of the meat in my mouth, but I forcibly restrained myself from childish antics.

Everyone began to leave the table, I finished my plate and sat there irritably as I glared at the table in front of me. Kira tried to speak to me, but I was in no mood for it. They took the hint.

I have no real responsibilities I need to fulfil, why is it that I feel so trapped?

Can't I just leave?

Feeling his disgusting eyes focused on my neck, it made me want to cover my skin like a shy girl. He makes my skin p.r.i.c.kle, makes me feel disgusting. Tainted. And slowly, my anger began to mount as I glared at the table. Knowing he was gloating as he stared across the table like a love-starved girl. My anger began to rise, and I seriously began to consider killing him.

I knew I was going to kill him earlier, but now I'm thinking..

Perhaps I don't need to wait.

I smiled a little at the thought.

I really don't need to wait do I, I can escape can't I. His death, it would be good for me wouldn't it. A form of.. Therapy? As for why he died, he fell down some stairs?

No. That excuse won't work, he'll just be a smear on the ground.

Chuckling at the thought, a mad smile slipped on my face. Perhaps I could say he misp.r.o.nouced a spell? Cast 'Self Destruction' instead of 'Torchlight'? That would be reasonable wouldn't it. My smile stretched wider at the thought, eyes no longer filled with resentment but with the glory of the kill to come.

I could feel it rising in me, rage threatening to turn into bloodl.u.s.t. As it began to overtake me, my inventory popped into existence even as my hand began to move towards the club.

Its going to be sooo easy.

Death less than a second away, even Peter realized something was wrong as the smirk abruptly dropped from his face and his face transformed into utter seriousness. Chair rattling as he backed away, climbing to his feet with his face rapidly paling. Breath growing rapid as he watched me, I finally noticed him.

Seeing that, it was what broke the spell.

Killing him? Staying here?

No.

I don't need to.

Letting out a breath, I slowly leaned back against the chair as I ignored him.

I can do something else instead.

I can just leave.

You have learned how to focus Aura: Bloodl.u.s.t

Aura: Bloodl.u.s.t is no longer in effect

Huh. When did that activate?

It doesn't matter, I'm going.

I'm not going to fight them, but I am going; leaving this a.s.shole behind.

Scooting back my chair, I ignored his shaking sigh and small beads of forehead sweat, his problem. As I moved out of the room, I heard him move behind me to follow on shaky legs. But I ignored it, he means nothing. Is nothing. Worth nothing. I'm leaving. And he's not coming.

Stalking to the ballroom where n.o.bles and heroes intermingled in the few hours before bed, my mood brightened for the first time in the past few days as I yelled to the four ”Guys!” with a increasing smile.