Vol 2 Chapter 6 (1/2)
[BOKUshi+NU V2] CUT 6 – TOMORROW I WILL DIE, YOU WILL SAY, “I’M HOME”
“I’ to Mama”
“You’re still scared huh…”
It was already halfway through Septe of fall
On this day, I was biting my lips as I sat in front of the open notebook
Two days before, I discovered that Hikari Yumesaki’s time li, but all I could do was feel anxious, and I couldn’t co my brain for a while, I decided that I would just write about the current situation as it is into the notebook At the same time, I also included this:
“We should probably tell everything to Ms Hinako We should tell her everything; that you’re still alive, the reason behind your death, and that your ti, at least she can still help by supporting us In fact, she still thinks that you co”
Ms Hinako, Hikari Yumesaki’s mother
The truth is, I’ve written many similar journal entries over the summer But for some reason, Hikari Yumesaki was afraid, and as time passed by, she never visited Ms Hinako I h it’ll take a lot of work to get Ms Hinako to believe us, Kazeshi+ro already believes us, so if we just talk it out, Ms Hinako will most likely understand too
“Please I’ll definitely go see Maive me some more time In fact, I’m fine! It’s just thirty ift to Saka, and if I think about it like this, then there’s nothing to worry about!”
“Still acting brave huh”
Seeing the journal entry, it looks like she’s still pretty energetic, but no matter how I think about it, this is probably all an act
Even I was agitated, when I learned of this two days ago If I could, I would definitely try to find someone who I could vent out all ofrestless days together, so why this too?
I couldn’t help but throw a tantru
I quickly called up Kazeshi+ro, and once again, ent around trying to solve the problehtest clue of where to look Hikari Yumesaki must have felt our sense of unease, and that’s why she’s purposely pretending to be energetic in her journal entry
“The thing is, the time problem…”
From five minutes to thirtyreduced Although I don’t want to think about it, if her time continues to be reduced, Hikari Yumesaki could completely disappear after some time Can that idiot really endure this kind of situation? Not only her, can I endure it too?
We didn’t find any clues, or any solutions Although I don’t want to think too much about it, I think it’s tio too far in thinking about what ht happen
Because of this, I wanted to let her apologize to Ms Hinako directly To apologize for her death, and for not seeing Ms Hinako, hoping that she would spend her re time with Ms Hinako This wasn’t just for Hikari Yumesaki, but it was also the best course of action for Ms Hinako The probleht now As such, I once asked her if I could go see Ms Hinako in her place, and then…
“Well good night, Sakamoto…I know that I’ve already said this so many times, but please keep this a secret froo see her one day I’m fine”
“Are you sure…?”
The journal entry ended with this line Since she said so, there was no choice left
“But still, I need to think of so”
I raised the notebook towards thesun, and could faintly make out erased traces of pencil marks And when I traced out the marks——
“So lonely”
Written there were these words
Lonely Lonely huh? Losing five , but now thirty minutes was reduced
“In fact——”
It was during the incident with Misaki when I was reminded that Hikari Yumesaki was dead She was treated as dead by everyone nobody, absolutely nobody, will call her nauy nanized Hikari Yumesaki’s, and she basically didn’t exist in this world Even if an hour, or even two hours, was taken away fro time, and in the end she disappeared…The world would remain the same So for her, she probably felt lonely in this kind of world However, there are a few people who could cure her loneliness——like Ms Hinako, but…”
“I got to do so…”
I couldn’t understand why Hikari Yumesaki was so hesitant to see her own mother
But if there was an opportunity…
If there was an opportunity for Hikari Yumesaki to overcoo see Ms Hinako personally I’d better come up with a plan, no matter what I have to do
After deciding on ed my clothes, and headed out under the cloudy sky
Ah, it’s hot even though it was cloudy How depressing
I roah I was lost at the crosswalks of life, and took a long route towards the watermelon field near the path from school I was lost, but what I had to do in the end of i around is one of life’s pleasures; As for what I want to say? I wasn’t too sure either The uneasiness inwith my head
Before long, I was standing in front of the intercom at the Yumesakis’ home, my heart filled with dread
What so I say to Ms Hinako anyway? I was looking for Ms Hinako so that I could change Hikari Yus, but will the aard me be able to find that excuse?
I hesitated outside the door for a long time
I’ll probably screw things up The people passing by, who seein front of the house with a conflicted look onme a surprised look In fact, the nuood! The onlookers are whispering Hey, stop! Who are you going to call!?
“I have no choice, I’ll just have to bite the bullet”
I took a deep breath, and rang the doorbell
——Ding dong……
“Coht there~~~”
“Wait, what?”
Before the doorbell finished ringing, a voice had already answered back What the crap? That’s ay too fast
I had such a thought as the sliding door entrance slid open with a rattling sound Standing behind the door was Ms Hinako, her young and pretty looks that would never lead one to think that she had a daughter in high school
“Teehee, I ondering who it was, and it turns out to be Sakamoto! Wel~come!”
“H-hello, aunty”
“Please come in~ There there, hurry up and co an afternoon drama is to not let anyone else find out!”
“W-What are you saying, aunty!?”
Ms Hinako giggled at etic Although I don’t quite understand how she was so cheerful
But neverroo with a ripened watermelon
A watermelon that was cut in half, and even some spoons
Woah, are we going to eat all of that?
“Ah, not good, I have to make some tea”
As she said that, she quickly stepped out of the living rooain Why do I feel like this hectic appearance was sih I’ve never met her before?
While I zoned out, a s door, inspected my face, and then walked to my side If I remember correctly, this cat was named Adam Some name that is
“……Huh?”
Now that I finally met Adam, I couldn’t help but rub his neck and tease hih s
What’s with this feeling It feels unusual
The living room looked s, as if they had been put away——
“Sorry for the long wait Here”
“Oh, thank you”
——While I was looking around, Ms Hinako cahts She sat across froreat
“Playing with Adaht?”
“Yeah, but I don’t really get his name”
“Teehee, that’s the naer The band’s naht?”
Ms Hinako said with a smile So that’s how this weird na how Ms Hinako was so trendy
“Leaving that aside, how’s the watermelon?”
“Yeah, it’s delicious”
“Can you finish all of it?”
“Uh, sure I’ll try my best”
I should be able to finish it all if I try Besides, it’ll be e if there are leftovers
“Teehee, I couldn’t help but remember when Hikari-chan was still alive Every time I asked her, ‘How etically reply, ‘One half!’”
“Oh… R-Really?”
Ms Hinako suddenly brought up a topic I had difficulty talking about
“There’s plenty left Keep eating”
“Oh, ok”
Ms Hinako continued to eagerly talk withup the topic later on? What kind of opportunity will make Hikari Yumesaki start to talk to Ms Hinako…um…
I tried to cohtest idea caain
“You’re such a reliable person, Akitsuki It’s fine for you to coain”
“There’s no need, I’m not a kid anymore”
“What are you saying, aren’t high school students still kids? Huhu, still trying to keep your pride”
“Uh…”
Seeing my response, Ms Hinako could only smile So it looks like I’m still just a kid to you huh
Even though I’m the eldest child in my family, and I have to take care of my little sister and be partners with that idiot——
“Don’t be afraid to ask me for help, okay?”
“Huh?”
Suddenly, her young and bubbly voice enveloped the table, filled armth and sympathy
“You’re still just a child, so you don’t have to go on a wild goose chase by yourself It’s alright to ask others for help In fact, it’s not just children, even adults can’t live without help from others”
W-What is she suddenly saying? What’s the point of this?
“That’s why”
She paused for a moment, and then proceeded to say——
“If there’s so you, then talk about it I could see it from here you know You came to the watermelon field several tiht?”
“Hmm——?”
Walked back and forth…in the watermelon field?
What happened? Hold on, I don’t re any of this
“You’re always flipping through your notebook and staring at it, right? I could see it through theYou were holding it tightly, ical spells are in there?”
——————!
That idiot… I pictured the scene that Ms Hinako described in ulped So that’s hoas
It looks like I ht that idiot——Hikari Yu I had felt like she was pathetic and spineless, like she was just afraid
But in reality, that wasn’t true It looks like she was trying her best when I wasn’t aware of it, trying to co that one final step of courage
“That’s why I was really happy when I saw you coe There’s soht?”
“Ah, no Not anymore Today was already——”
“Oh is that so, what a shame…”
Although her voice carried a sense of sadness, she didn’t ask any further, and instead smiled towards me
So that’s why, I ondering how she could answer the door so quickly, and it turns out that she aiting for me That’s why she was so cheerful, so overjoyed
“What the crap… so you were trying your best huh”
So Hikari Yuth to co this, I couldn’t help but let out a snicker
Although I didn’t acco that Hikari Yuain The reason why she repeatedly toldturned out to be that she wanted to tell Ms Hinako herself Really now, I’ve co Ms Hinako will do Still though, this was very s
This knowledge alloweda deep breath, the tension in my shoulders also loosened, and I raised ——
“…That’s right”
“Hmm? What is it, Akitsuki?”
Suddenly, a thought ran through my mind
“A picture…”
“Hmm?”
“Can I see a picture of Hikari for a second?”
I asked Ms Hinako
Last time I was here, she once letup I remembered that there was picture in there of Hikari Yuether I can’t say for sure that the picture will be enough of a reason, but if there was a moment of love and amity taken in that picture, then perhaps it will touch Hikari Yuo see Ms Hinako
“Excuse ive me a moment”
This may help us fix the current situation, even if just by a little bit I held ontomanner
“Ah…about that…”
“Ms Hinako?”
——However
Ms Hinako’s response was shaky and hesitant
“Ms Hinako?”
She weakly put on a smile, and a shadow fell upon her face And from those heavy lips, what she said was——
“I’er here”
“——————Huh?”
Her unexpected reply made me draw back my breath
“That albuer here…”
Not here…
No no no, what are you talking about? That can’t be true
You clearly cherished that albuht? You’re teasing ht?
“……Did so happen?”
“………”
Ms Hinako didn’t respond, but I couldn’t just leave it at that
It was probably because she felt that we couldn’t go on with such aht smile, and raised her head
“…That child’s father”
Father? I re that her parents were divorced——
“Ever since the funeral, he’s always been causing quite a ruckus During the time that he was ho that Hikari-chan’s death was all my fault”
——Oh
“At that ti that contained memories of Hikari-chan was taken away by him”
“——————!”
I gasped Nofro Ms Hinako in such a state, s If what she said was true…
When I looked around, I had felt like this room was unusually empty
The certificate that was adorned on a plaque, and the drawing that was taped to the wall
Perhaps, everything that was left from when Hikari Yumesaki was still alive…was all…
I thought of the journal entry from before, where Hikari Yumesaki talked about how hard it was to live with divorced parents
That father is now——
“Are you kidding me——!?”
“Akitsuki, don’t get angry What he said wasn’t wrong”
I couldn’t help but let et the better of me, and Ms Hinako quickly spoke out to stop me
“It’s my fault That was…my responsibility”
“Responsibility?”
“I’ve already talked to you before about that child’s past right?”
I re about how she was always soft and quick to cry
“He always hated Hikari-chan’s softness… He’s not a very patient person, so his deh he wouldn’t physically harm Hikari-chan, he would always chide Hikari-chan loudly, especially when it caht Everything he said was also undoubtedly right But…I couldn’t bare seeing that child cry so hard every day”
“………”
“Then one day, after I had an arguan to cry just like a child That became the reason for our divorce After the divorce, I painstakingly took custody of Hikari-chan But the days after that happened were truly difficult Everytime Hikari-chan looked like she wanted to cry, I could only just hold onto her I had originally planned on steeling myself and be strict on her, but now that I look back on it, I was always pa that child was a very enjoyable experience I could see a different expression on her face every day Like——”
Ms Hinako suddenly s
“Akitsuki, it’s almost time for the Mid-Autumn Festival, isn’t it?”
“Huh? Oh, really…?”
“That’s right It’ll be on September 25th this year”
The topic of our conversation was abruptly changed
So that’s how it is huh, the Mid Autues each year
“In the past, every year during the time of the Mid Autumn, I would take Hikari-chan to the mountain behind Hyoudou Eleiri before we head out, and ould talk about her day as we gazed at the moon It was on those special days that I would tell her stories froer Romance stories and such”
Ms Hinako closed her eyes in nostalgia, and softly spoke
“Although, it often rains during the middle of autumn There was one tio because of the rain, and all of her hopeful expectations turned into tears Truly heartbreaking Ever since then, whenever the Mid Autu, she would make a lot of teru teru bozu The whole house would be filled with teru teru bozu of various expressions Teehee, I don’t know if that child realized her mistake or not, but she probably confused the mid-autumn festival with Tanabata She even wrote the paper slips and hang the like, ‘If rite our wish now, then the rant theht?”
Oh So that’s why my room was completely filled with teru teru bozu
I could faintly iine what happened Even if she realized her ly respond to herlike, “This is Hikari-chan’s version of thea set of teru teru bozu
“As a result, I wrote, ‘I wish Hikari-chan will always be happy,’ and she i besides my happiness!’ so for the next one I wrote, ‘I wish for a beautiful flower,’ and then that child bought a beautiful flower for me I don’t even knohere she learned that froht this for Moht it for then She immediately showed a look of embarrassment on her face It was so cute Ever since then, each year before the arrival of the Mid Autumn ould alrite our wishes on the teru teru bozu This has already become a Yumesaki family tradition…”
Having spoke to there, Ms Hinako dropped her head Huh?
“I’ about how I’ll have to spend this year by myself makes me feel so lonely”
“Oh No, this——”
Even though I quickly tried to come up with some topic to folloith, I couldn’t think of what to say Ms Hinako s expression
“I hadn’t seen that child’s father for a while after the divorce…but he came back on the day of the funeral He berated me quite loudly At that ti held, and I could barely cal the ti with him I didn’t want hi either I’ that I acted this way because she ret it a lot If I had known that things would turn out this way, I would’ve given everything to you, Akitsuki”
Ms Hinako stuck out her tongue, laughing through her lame excuse
…Don’t laugh
“Don’t getIt wasHikari-chan, that his actions are justifiable It was entirely my fault I…”
………
“I’ about such a depressing subject You’re a very easy person to talk to, Akitsuki”
“…please, don’t worry about it”
“Teehee At times like this, it’s quite hard for me to act calm Hikari-chan is just like me in this way”
Ms Hinako continued to speak with regret
“That girl was quite popular with the boys, and especially since she treated others nicely, she caused a lot of s with boys After she receives a confession, she would always hide in the corner of a roo face would blush red, and she would aardly reveal how another boy had confessed to her Although, she turned down all of the confessions she received”
Ms Hinako fiddled with her hair, and then——
“………”
“………”
Huh?
“…How lonely”
……!
Ms Hinako drooped her head, and her voice trembled
“I’ve thought about overco this pain I’ve sortedeveryone’s encourage is, sometimes—— As I wash the clothes, I couldn’t help but think, ‘There’s no rains stuck on the skirt,’ and as I cook I can’t stop , ‘I won’t have to force her to eat her vegetables anys, h I spent sowhen I wake up, I think back to that child…”
………
“I obviously still can’t forget about Hikari-chan I can never forget I truly love Hikari-chan Even now, even in the future…there will never be anyone who loves her more than me”
Tears gently welled up in her eyes
I couldn’t tell if she was crying or not I also didn’t have the courage to see if she was crying
“In the past, I always looked forward to gazing at the moon…but I’ve already lost my excitement for this year… All of these past years, there would always be so many, just so le one”
What should I say? I already knew, but I just couldn’t say anything
All I could do was tightly graspvoice
“——……!”
In that , but in the end, I gave up That wasn’t what Hikari Yumesaki wanted And with that constraint, I couldn’t do anything
Ms Hinako was clearly right in front of me, and I could clearly reach out and wipe away her tears
Yet, I didn’t do anything, anything at——
The gray-eye cat ignored the current mood, and meowed
It was as if he was reproaching the useless me
After a while, I decided to head home after I saw that Ms Hinako had caler, she would continue to talk about Hikari Yumesaki The person she needed was clearly notrealized this ry at how dumb I was
Ms Hinako repeatedly apologized as she took me to the door She tried her best to hide her sadness with a smile, and it felt painful to look at her
“Akitsuki, is it alright if I let my cat stay at your place?”
“Huh? Why?”
“Oh, I ht be out of the house for a while…”
Her vague answer h it was a shaies
After I told her that, her clear voice replied, “Oh, then it’s fine”
“Teehee, you and Hikari-chan are very much alike after all”
“Huh?”
Just as I was about to turn around and leave, she suddenly said that
“When you were racking your brain outsidewith your hair, and kept walking back and forth, just like Hikari-chan would do Although there’s one thing that makes you two different——”
Ms Hinako’s eyes stared at aze that didn’t fit the summer
“And that is——in the end, you can rely on your own strength to walk forward, just like today Whenever that child comes across an uncomfortable situation, she would become coy and shy That side of her is similar to mine”
A sad smile illustrated the pain in her heart
“If only Hikari-chan was as strong as you are… who knoould have happened”
………
“Just leave it to me”
“Hmm?”
“I-It’s nothing Can I coain?”
“Of course you can You ain Next time I’ll be better for sure I’m fine, I’ve already decided to live hat I have left of Hikari-chan…no matter how painful it is…”
“Alright then”
I strengthened ht break but also not caring, I exerted ht break due to my restlessness
It’s a good thing that I cas
I almost missed the most important piece of information That the situation actually turned out this way
That the strong and yet kind Ms Hinako was actually reduced to such a depressing state
I really wanted to punchput Hikari Yumesaki’s and Ms Hinako’s problems aside I have to tell Hikari Yuht away I have to save Ms Hinako as soon as possible, even if I’m earlier by one day——
As soon as I got home, I quickly opened up the notebook
Then, while I thought back to my conversation with Ms Hinako, I turned them into words on the notebook paper So that I could convey Ms Hinako’s grief to Hikari Yu that I could rees to write ht I have to tell Hikari Yu
At the end, I left these words for Hikari Yumesaki:
“Ms Hinako has been hurting for all this time That’s why, for Ms Hinako’s sake, you should tell her everything, and use your own voice to cheer her up If you’re still scared, then it’s fine if I tell her myself Anyway, you should tell her how you’re still alive Be brave, ok?”
Hikari Yumesaki will surely understand
Hikari Yumesaki will definitely feel Ms Hinako’s pain
I carried this belief with me as I went to sleep early And then two days later, the reply for me in the notebook…
“I can’t, I’ Didn’t I tell you to wait?”
“…Wait?”
In that h my face
My hearing di becah me
A burning anger
Hikari Yuh I don’t want to think about it, but she’ll probably have to face the worst possible ending
If you’re going to see her, then go see her now If you don’t visit her while you’re still alive, then you’ll only regret it in the end You’ve already went through it once, so you should understand right? Or do you want to ascend to heaven without being able to say anything to Ms Hinako when it’s too late? Do you want to cut off your hter relationshi+p like that? I definitely won’t allow you to do that
“…I have to write her soain”
I want to let her go see Ms Hinako This was my responsibility It washer Even if it’ll make her cry, I must do this
I know, it’s hard for you to face Ms Hinako after entering my body I can also understand your fear If it were er’s body to meetis, you should have ht?
If we suddenly tell her, it ain Ms Hinako’s trust It would be scary if she gets ?” However, if you were to talk about the things that only you two know about, then it’ll be like what Kazeshi+ro said, and we’ll gain Ms Hinako’s trust This is already no longer only your problem We can’t let Ms Hinako spend every day in tears
“Stop coo I absolutely refuse to step back this tiive you”
“………”
Even I think that these words were harsh What will Hikari Yuaveother people feel pain see me pain too I could personally handle any pain, but I can’t stand watching someone with a smile suffer That’s why, I don’t want to let Ms Hinako cry anymore
“Please understand, Hikari Yumesaki Please just understand…”
On a rainy Sunday I woke up right before the alarm went off
“No, I can’t do it, I’m scared”
“Saying that again…”
You keep saying that you’re scared and you’re scared, but enough is enough!
My patience has a limit too you know Today’s journal entry didn’t have any randos, nor did it have any pranks All it had ords full of grief written with a ballpoint pen
“Because… Because…”
“Because what!? Stop looking for excuses!”
Ms Hinako is probably suffering again today Knowing this, I can’t spoil Hikari Yuer, no matter what kind of an excuse she writes