Chapter 67 - Hinata-C Resolve (1/2)

Hinata spent most of his days recovering on futon. At the center of a simple room of about six tatami mats in length and breadth. After a while, he realized it was the same room he had shared his love with Akira.

After some time, he was able to move around.

He sat, crossed-leg, on the mats before a pleasant view of green forests and bushes beyond the opened shoji doors and wide porch.

Knotwood bushes, bamboo clumps and evergreen trees swayed against a breeze. The air was mild and humid. Signs of a stubborn rainy season in autumn.

”Damn.” He winced at the stabbing pain to the side of his stomach when he moved forward.

Rocko had been administering strong medicine to ease the pain and expedite healing.

The drawback was when the medication had waned. The pain was felt ten times as worse than before. It did make him wonder on the fake leg he had remade for Yuri. He hoped the man had received it and was able to use it.

Then there was Kou's blindness. Those men had lost parts of themselves to war. Yet they continue with life to the best of their abilities. Although, he felt certain they continued to face their demons in their dreams. Kou's fitful sleep at his house was evidence of this.  Now with their plight from the secret police.

”War brings too much suffering.” Hinata sighed.

He may not have been a soldier fighting for his country, but he suffered and fought the same war in his own way. War spared no one.

Time in solitude, and more talks with Rocko, gave him further reasons for reflection. Especially on his relationship with Akira.

All the justifications, reasons and feelings in his heart led to the same conclusion. He was doing Akira an injustice by staying by his side.

Yes he loved him. He couldn't continue to act on his love the way he did with Eiji. He still felt confused and unable to shake his loneliness. Maybe it was too soon. Either way, Akira deserved more than he could give.

”I have to say goodbye to us.” He spoke aloud.

”Aki will understand. After he throws a few tanties.” Rocko added from the doorway to surprise Hinata.

”He won't like it.” Hinata added.

”Yeah. But if he loves yah, he'll let yah go.” Rocko kindly reassured him.

Hinata smiled with onset tears in his eyes. ”I'm cruel.”