Chapter 42 - Remission (1/2)

Lei Xing returned to her palace and sent everyone away and laid on her bed stewing for a long time over the course recent events; the uncanny paintings and then the empress dowager's problem. She had dismissed - at the very least stopped wasting energy thinking about the paintings since she could not get definite answers on that. So, she focused on the issue of the empress dowager, but no matter how she thought about it she still couldn't come to a conclusion on that problem either. The most she concluded was the empress dowager definitely had a grudge against her, if she had any doubt about it before, it was now confirmed. But she wondered if it was really just because of the empress rejection thing, the empress dowager should have moved on since the emperor seems to have moved on from it, right?

...Ideally....but then if she were rational, poisoning me for it wouldn't be the response -_-)'...It can't be that she really just hates my face, right?...but even then, to want to kill me for that is a bit much, isn't it?... I mean she barely knows me...I guess you don't need to know someone to hate them...actually, thinking about it, maybe she hates me because of the emperor's crap attention?...but then she's his mother, she doesn't need to fight over his ”attention” ...right?...Reasons aside, how long can I continue to evade this woman? The ”illness” story can't always work...like today, if it's something I've taken before it doesn't work, such a glaring loophole!..and she even seemed ”upset” when I drank it today...drink = problem, don't drink = problem...what am supposed to do with this woman?!...

While Lei Xing was ruminating over the empress dowager's problem, she ended up falling asleep at some point, she was really tired and all this mental strain was even more exhausting.

Later on in the day, Xiao Ruo woke her up to get ready. She got up, still irritated, soaked in a bath for a long while and then speedily went through the process of getting ready, she really couldn't be bothered with it at the moment, and when done, made her way back to the empress dowager's palace, where they were expected to gather before going over to the main hall.

For the first time, Lei Xing was actually the first one there. It seemed the others were really taking their time getting ready. She sighed and walked off to the side and sat down to wait, a maid served some tea beside her, Lei Xing glanced down at the cup and ignored it.

...I've had enough tea here to last two lifetimes...haah, since this is the case, I could have slept some more...I blame Xiao Ruo, always so anxious about everything -_-)...

To make things worse, shortly after Lei Xing sat down, Song mama came into the room with a message that made Lei Xing really want to run back to her palace to re-do the entire process of getting dressed, this time as slow as humanly possible. The message was that the empress dowager has asked to see her privately in her room. Lei Xing was panicked on the inside but had no choice but to follow Song mama, as she shed silent tears on the inside.

...Is she going to just have people hold me down and pour it down my throat...Is this really the end? T_T)...I hope it's painless poison, if there is such a thing here T_T)...

Lei Xing was led into the empress dowager's bedroom, where she was sat down with maids putting on her make-up and jewelry. Lei Xing walked in and bowed, the empress dowager simply cast her a brief sidelong glance and then looked back at her reflection in the mirror.

Lei Xing awkwardly stood there in the middle of the room ignored. Lei Xing glanced at the empress dowager feeling anxious for her fate.

...Maybe I should apologize?... Apologize for what?!... I don't know...the empress thing?... Do you really think all this is because of THAT?...It doesn't matter, just do it!...

Before Lei Xing could convince herself to open her mouth, the empress dowager seemed satisfied with her appearance and waved the maids away, and then turned and calmly stared at Lei Xing. Lei Xing froze and stared back at her blankly before quickly snapping out of it, and bowing again in greeting again. Lei Xing then straightened up, keeping her head lowered. There was only three of them left in the room; Lei Xing in the middle of the room, Song mama who was standing beside the empress dowager and the empress dowager who was sitting down quietly staring at Lei xing.

Lei Xing felt this situation was very eerie, this was in even worse than dealing with the emperor, in those situations, at most she felt awkward, and annoyed - yes, there's that too...but she was never really afraid of him or for her life actually. Lei Xing admitted to herself that she was honestly really scared of this woman and this was probably the most scared she's been in her life, even while drowning, she was extremely panicked but her mind didn't really have the time to be scared. The sense of impending doom is palpable here.

...Of course, I'm scared of her, she tried to kill me!... Well, you don't really know that, maybe it was harmless?...-_-)'...I think not!... I should really apologize...but will it help?...I don't know and don't care, just do something to get her to STOP!!!....

Lei Xing took a deep breath and kowtowed, then stayed on her knees with her hands cupped in front of her and head bowed, ”Your majesty, I apologize for my past transgressions, I have since reflected on myself and recognized failures and ineptitudes.” Lei Xing finished in one breath and closed her eyes waiting for a response maintaining her position.

...Look I am even on my knees, begrudgingly... willingly on my knees, just let it go!...

The empress dowager blinked and was quiet for a while staring at Lei Xing. After a while, she laughed and asked, ”Apologizing for what?”

Lei Xing blinked, ”Ah, for the disrespect I showed in replying to the emperor's question on the position of the empress. It was a lapse in good judgment on my part. Please do not hold it against this inexperienced one.”

...Please let it go, I can't keep doing this T_T)...

”Ahh, he did ask you that.” The empress dowager said in a tone that sounded like she had just remembered that there was such an event.

Lei Xing frowned.

...You forgot? It's really not that? I knew she wouldn't be so petty...but then what else have I done wrong?!... You can't seriously hate me because of the crap attention that I don't want, right?...You're his mother!... We can negotiate, what do you want? Do you want me to be your lackey?... Well...Well, I can try...I mean, we can probably work something out...somehow...just...just give me the chance to fail first!...

”Why did you wait till now to apologize?” The empress dowager casually asked, and then added, ”You can get up now.”

Lei Xing got up, but still kept her head lowered and answered, ”I have been meaning to apologize but I could not find an opportunity to meet your majesty privately until now.”

The empress dowager smirked, ”Then why didn't you come to visit me?”

Lei Xing glanced up at her and swiftly answered, ”I didn't think it was something I was allowed to do...” and then lowered her eyes, ”...I also didn't want to further upset your majesty.”