706 Obtaining the Bloodline, Breakthrough End (1/2)

Daneel's earliest memories were those of him growing up in the orphanage.

He had been a scrawny kid, and in the friendly fights that they got into, he would always lose.

He had never been charismatic like others to gather many people around him, nor did he have any qualities that made him popular, such as being funny, or having some other skill.

Mediocre. Or normal, if one wanted to mince words.

That was the impression that Daneel got from himself as he watched his childhood play out. Never standing out, and never being distinctive were his traits. Except for his studiousness that allowed him to score well, there was nothing else.

Yet…Daneel was focusing on each and every one of the thoughts that came to his mind, throughout each and every moment of his life.

This was tiring, but he endeavored, as he knew that this was how he would find his answer.

He had already been sure that the typical ones didn't suit him.

World Domination? Sure, it really appealed to him, but it wasn't what he was living for. He wanted to, and would achieve it, but what then? Would he incessantly go out and want to conquer the entire known universe just because he could? Would he want all others to bow before him because of his power?

If there was a need, Daneel would go down that route, but now, even though that was one of the answers that stood out a lot, he just wasn't convinced that it was the only thing he wanted to do before he died.

It felt…shallow, and he knew that there was more to him than that.

The other answer, of course, was immortality, just like the protagonists of the books that Daneel had used to read.

Yes, that was also a very important goal, but again…after gaining immortality, then what?

If one only went forward with this in mind, they might just find that they would have an eternity to spend, but nothing to do during it, which might just drive them mad.

Time was an interesting thing, and he had seen how it changed those from the Big Four already. It made many feel detached from the world, and Daneel did not want this for himself, ever.

True, this wasn't a reason for him not to pursue it, and although it was included in one of his goals as it was the basic thing that anyone with power would want to achieve, again…it wasn't the entire answer.

These two might have been perfect answers for those perfect characters in books who had grown up with confidence and the clear goal to crush everyone beneath them when the time came, but Daneel wasn't that person.

He had just been a normal guy who had drawn a really short stick in life, but after death, or whatever the f*ck had happened during that accident, he had gotten a second chance, and something to help him on his way.

Circumstances had kept pushing him to rise, and change. He had been given the opportunity to leave behind the guy who had needed to beg on the streets for food, and he had managed to do so, mainly because he had had no intention of having a repeat of what he had experienced on Earth. Coming from a position in life where one had been that desperate, hopeless, depressed and suicidal…had changed him in ways that he, himself couldn't describe, and it was possibly the thing that had pushed him so much to excel in Angaria, and get everything he wished.

Was it possibly…also fear of having to go to that condition again that had pushed him so?

This question came to Daneel as he watched himself in those darkest moments of his life.

He had been kicked out from college, and his last funds had already dried up. He had found refuge on the streets, and he had begun to scavenge what little he could find in garbage bins to feed himself.

That was before he had stopped himself from begging as he wanted to retain the last shreds of his dignity, but of course, when that source dried up, too, he had had to resort to it, with varied success.

These really had been the worst moments of Daneel's life, and as he lived through them again, he realized that he had quite possibly blocked them off for quite a long while.

He was shocked now to see just how deplorable he had been.

Each and every pitying gaze that fell on him when he begged had been a blow to his heart, as he kept remembering the old woman, and the way she had raised him with so much love and hope.

What would she say now if she saw him like this?

Many on the streets asked him why he wasn't working for food, as he was still young and must have energy.

The truth had been that those goons of that influential person had still been keeping an eye on him, and he had been refused even the simplest jobs.

Hence, Daneel had had no other option, and it had all been designed by that guy to make him feel like death was the best route to take.

And indeed, he had been suicidal. Daneel was shocked as he saw just how many times that thought had occurred in his mind, but each time, he would stop himself from simply walking forward into traffic and ending it all by remembering the face of the old lady before he left the orphanage, and the last words she had said to him.

”Go out and achieve everything you want, but if you ever feel lonely or sad, then just come right back here, as we will all be waiting for you.”

She had said this with that genial smile that she always seemed to have on her face no matter what happened, and she had kissed his forehead afterward and bade him farewell.

Of course, he had gone back many times to the orphanage after that, but this moment had been special, and it had been instrumental in him continuing to live.

But wait…why had that been so?

Getting a small suspicion, Daneel thought back to it, and because he had just lived through it, he could check each and every thought that had gone through his mind, and each and every emotion that he had felt.

And this…was where Daneel got his first clue.

He had already seen them all before, but looking back on it with the perspective of one who was leading almost the worst life possible gave him a realization that made him understand just why Xandar had said that it was very valuable to be able to once again live through life.

Truth be told, he had been a bit skeptical regarding the difference between this and just him thinking back to his past. After all, as a Warrior, the complexity of his mind would allow him, and anyone else to recall each and every moment almost perfectly, unlike with normal humans whose memories were not as accessible.