Chapter 040 (1/2)

The Complete Guide to the Use and Care of a Personal Assistant

Translator: Jury

Editor: NomNom

First Published on Chaleuria

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Chapter Forty

The moment Su Yuyang’s “woof woof woof,” conveniently mentioning @WriterZeroSecondsAgo, was published, a certain group Su Yuyang was in went into a frenzy.

Chaos Paste: Everyone look at Shu Yang’s microblog! He lost a word sprint, he finally lost a word sprint! [ROFL][picture of Shu Yang’s microblog]

Haphazardly Chopping Firewood: Fuck me, I’m gonna look.

Color Setting: Really! I want to go see who it is and instakill him!¹

Shu Yang: You all really… ah, I lost by one word. One word!

Chaos Paste: One word is still a word. Shu-shu, I just want to say it: you finally lost! Your perfect winning streak is finally broken! [Scatters flowers]

Blue Lake: You all have a lot of time on your hands? [Facepalm]

Shu Yang: Exactly. You all have so much free time? I’ve written 3600+. You all go write!

She-se: Don’t you call yourself 6000WPH? How did you lose that badly?

Eh, didn’t you all see? The person Shu-shu mentioned was called ‘WriterZeroSecondsAgo.’ If I’m remembering right, Shu-shu’s assistant is called ‘ZeroSecondsAgo?’

Blue Lake: I understand.

Chaos Paste: I understand.

……

Shu Yang: What do you understand?

Blue Lake: You like your assistant, so you lost on purpose to make him happy?

Mu Yu: Lake, how many words do you owe me? Color, did you break your update streak yesterday? Paste, what on earth have you been writing these past few days, do you figure that just because you won’t get drawn and quartered, you’ll just phone it in? And you, Haphazard, where’s the new book you promised me? I haven’t seen hide nor hair of it, do you want me to take my laptop to your house before you write the outline? And…

Enter Mu Yu, who instantly landed an area-of-effect killing blow. Aside from Shu Yang, every other writer under him was insta-killed and the group chat went silent.

Pale Twilight: Yu-ge,² I’m glad I’m not under you.

An Yuan: Heh heh, really?

Pale Twilight: The elder is in the house. I’m retreating. Shu-shu, rest in peace.

The group chat was quiet and Mu Yu started a private chat with Su Yuyang.

Mu Yu: Does your assistant know about your personal matters?

3000WPH: He knows.

Mu Yu: You’re not worried about him?

3000WPH: Since I employed him, I need to trust him. From past experience, he won’t spread my personal information. Fuck it, it’s just that I like guys, but I have to hide it and be afraid that people will find out. I haven’t done anything to be ashamed of.

Mu Yu: Society’s like that. But I’m just worried it will get out.

3000WPH: We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. You do know that I already have plans to come out of the closet, but because of your advice I’ve delayed it with no end in sight. Also, did you need me for something?

Mu Yu: Demonic Song Defying Heaven’s tie-in game is about to go into beta. Do you want a copy?

3000WPH: Not much interest.

After thinking, Su Yuyang added another line: Give me one then.

Mu Yu: Didn’t say you weren’t interested?

3000WPH: My assistant might. I saw him playing Heavenly Domain yesterday.

Mu Yu: ……

3000WPH: What?

Mu Yu: When I get it, I’ll Q you.³

3000WPH: Thanks.

Ling Miao had beat Su Yuyang, but only by one word, so he was both thrilled and aggrieved. In addition, this chapter was a complete mess. Ling Miao gradually came to understand that word-sprinting was just asking for trouble.

“Ah,” Ling Miao sighed in frustration. “Su-ge, why do I always want to delete everything I wrote in a word sprint?”

“Because you concentrated only on speed,” Su Yuyang explained. “Once you do a few more and get into practice, you’ll find that even 3000 words is a trivial matter.”

“Fuck, who’ll I word sprint with?” Ling Miao rolled his eyes at Su Yuyang and added silently, If I word sprint with you every day, that’s more pressure than a mountain!

“Ling Miao, are you on QQ?” Su Yuyang stuck his head over and asked.

“I’m on,” Ling Miao said lifelessly.

“I sent you a group chat invite.”

The moment Su Yuyang finished speaking, Ling Miao received the invitation. He clicked on ‘accept,’ and entered a group called ‘Permanently Curing Procrastination.’

Ling Miao saw the member list and almost peed his pants, then thought: This is the Great Author Group.

The so-called ‘Great Author Group’ was just a bunch of friends who got together to word sprint and chat, but most of the members were called ‘Great Authors’ by others, and by and by this group received the name ‘Great Author Group.’ This was an external name—internally, they called themselves ‘word sprint group.’ As for why the editor was arbitrarily in it—that was Su Yuyang the admin’s doing. He had invited Mu Yu in for stability.

“I feel like I’ve grown a duck egg on my head,” Ling Miao touched his chest and said. “Su-ge, did you drag me into the Great Author Group in order to terrify me, a no-name?”