4.42 L (1/2)

The inn was tense silence. Erin’s heart was in pieces over Mrsha, and she was afraid for Ksmvr, confused about the Antinium. She looked at Badarrow, bleeding, expressionless, and her heart broke in a different way. And then there was the bee.

Apista fanned her wings dangerously as she slowly extended her stinger on her abdomen. Erin stared at the Ashfire Bee coldly.

“Sting me and Lyonette will have to sweep you up, Apista. Understand?”

The air around her froze and the bee hesitated. Slowly it withdrew its stinger and flew off Erin’s arm. It landed on a table and hid behind a mug. Erin nodded. She took a deep breath.

“Okay. Everyone? Freeze.”

It wasn’t so much the words as the atmosphere that came with it. A chill and a pause swept through the inn, which halted the adventurers, the Antinium, and the Goblins where they stood or sat and drew every eye to Erin. She nodded.

“Good. Now, the first person who moves I will personally break their arm. No one stands, draws a sword, or does anything until I say they can. Got it? Good.”

She looked around. The room was quiet. Erin bent and went to Lyonette.

“Lyonette?”

The young woman was crying.

“I had to—I couldn’t—”

“I know. But Badarrow’s fine. Lyonette, look at me.”

The [Princess] did, eyes red, nose dribbling. Erin gripped her arms.

“Go upstairs.”

“But—”

“You don’t have to go into the room. Just sit outside it and make sure Mrsha doesn’t go anywhere, okay? Can you do that?”

Lyonette hesitated, and then brushed at her nose. That only made things worse.

“I—I can. Okay.”

She got up slowly. Erin looked around. Next? Goblins. Antinium. The Goblins were staring. She pointed at Drassi and the Drake flinched.

“Healing potion, Drassi! Give it to Badarrow. Now, as for you—”

She turned to the tableau of frozen Antinium. All three of them stared at her as she walked over. Ksmvr had the tip of his shortsword jammed into Yellow Splatters’ side. A trickle of green blood was running down the length of the blade. Erin stared at Ksmvr.

“Put your sword down.”

He hesitated.

“Miss Erin—”

“I said, down, Ksmvr. Bow as well.”

He reluctantly obeyed. The other two Soldiers shifted when he did. Yellow Splatters began to raise his fist and Purple Smile tried to slide away across the wall. Erin stamped her foot and there was a localized tremor. The Antinium went still.

“You three, sit. Now.”

They looked at her, confused. Erin stared at them. There was a…look in her eyes. A suggestion that she might be willing to beat all three to death with her bare hands if she was not obeyed. The look of a Prognugator of a Hive.

“I said, sit.”

All three Antinium sat down. The two Soldiers and Ksmvr looked up at Erin from their cross-legged positions on the floor. She eyed them but decided not to comment.

“Good. Now, keep sitting. If any of you three move, I will have Moore come over and hit you. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll get Jelaqua to do it.”

She nodded at the Halfseekers. They stared at her. Erin flashed them a smile and walked over to the Goblins.

“I am very, very sorry about what Mrsha did.”

She said that to Badarrow first off. He stared at her and his face twisted into a sneer reminiscent of Pisces. He had already poured healing potion into his ear and was tilting his head to hold it in. Erin hoped his eardrum hadn’t been punctured or if it had, the healing potion would fix it. She looked at him and around the table.

“I mean it. That was inexcusable and shouldn’t have happened in my inn. You have my word she won’t do it again.”

The other four Goblins shifted in their seats and looked at each other. One gave Erin a half-hearted nod, and another shrugged.

There. That was what Erin felt, had been feeling this entire time. That sense of…disconnect. They didn’t believe her. Or if they did, they thought she wouldn’t be able to keep her word. Or—they were Goblins. They were used to being attacked. That was life.

And that was wrong. Erin hesitated just for a moment. But this was it. She felt what she had to do at last. She reached out and touched Badarrow. She grabbed his hands with hers, feeling his hands—warm and real, in hers.

He jerked, a trickle of potion and blood spilling out of one ear. Reflexively he tried to pull his hands away but Erin wouldn’t let him. She held his hands. His fingernails were long, yes, and his skin was green. Of course. But they were warm hands, and she could feel his pulse. It was accelerating. He was nervous. And as she stared into his crimson eyes, she saw a person there.

“There you are. I knew you were like me.”

He didn’t understand. Erin smiled at him. She leaned closer, and now she could smell him, and he couldn’t look away. She looked into his eyes and spoke.

“I am sorry about Mrsha. But she has a reason to hate you. Goblins killed her tribe.”

He flinched at that. All the Goblins did. They looked at Erin and away. They understood what she meant in a heartbeat of course, but they tried to distance themselves. They tried to hide in what they were and what she was. Goblins and a Human. Two species destined for conflict. They had given their hearts away once and lost them. They didn’t want to feel. But Erin was too close. Badarrow couldn’t look away.

“It was recently. A few months ago. And when she came here…I think she’s afraid you’ll kill her. I know you won’t. But I’m asking you to forgive her. I know she tried to kill you. But she’s a child. I’ll try to get her to come downstairs. I’m not asking you to do anything—but I hope you understand.”

Badarrow glanced into Erin’s eyes and away. He tried to turn his head, but she kept drawing him back. And then he looked at her as if intoxicated. They were close. She was real. And so was he. He nodded, slowly and Erin smiled.

“Thank you. And I want you to know that I had a friend, once. Her name was Rags and she was a Goblin. She and I didn’t always understand each other, but I thought of her as a friend, as a person. I think you’re people too.”

The Goblins stared at her. Badarrow’s face was filled with expressions the other Redfang warriors had seldom seen. Shock, surprise, and then…a smile. As if he couldn’t help it. Erin smiled and looked around.

“Wait, please. Ishkr? Give them food and make sure everyone has something to eat. I’ll be down shortly.”

She strode towards the stairs and took them two at a time. She looked back only once. Badarrow was staring at his hands and another Goblin, Shorthilt, was prodding at his palms. He looked up at and met her eyes. And she smiled at him and knew he was embarrassed. All that Goblin mystique, all the tension, the uncertainty—she’d forgotten that if you looked into someone’s eyes, you could see their soul. And it shone brightly in the Goblin’s gaze.

Upstairs was different than below. The murmuring below and thawing of shock was at odds with the sound of crying above. Mrsha was sobbing and Lyonette was in tears. Erin strode towards the door to their room and opened it. Lyonette hovered at the doorway. Erin turned to her.

“I think I need to talk to Mrsha by herself.”

Lyonette hesitated, and then nodded. She went downstairs and Erin went inside. She found Mrsha curled up in her bedroll, quivering and making sobbing sounds, although of course she couldn’t fully articulate them. She had no voice, but some things were wordless. Erin reached out and the ball jerked under the covers. A head poked out and Mrsha stared at her.

“Mrsha—”

The Gnoll swiped at her with a paw. Erin caught the paw gently and looked at the Gnoll.

“We need to talk.”

Mrsha didn’t want to talk. She wanted to be sad. She wanted to hurt. Erin understood that, but she also had to be heard. So she compromised. She held Mrsha’s paw and stroked it. At first, the Gnoll tried to pull away, but then she gave up and lay there, weeping, as Erin patted her head and stroked her fur. After a while, Erin felt it was time to speak.

“I should have talked with you a long time ago about this, Mrsha. About the Goblins, I mean.”

The Gnoll froze up and her paw was suddenly sharp with claws in Erin’s hand. The young woman adjusted her grip and sighed.

“Mrsha. Listen to me.”

The Gnoll didn’t want to listen. She pulled hard, and Erin pulled right back. Surprised, Mrsha tumbled out of her bedding and met Erin’s eyes. The [Innkeeper] bent her head and spoke in a quiet, direct voice.

“Mrsha. Hating the Goblins is not wrong.”

The Gnoll Cub froze. She looked up at Erin and the young woman nodded.

“No, it’s not. I should have said that to you earlier. Hating the Goblins isn’t wrong. They killed your tribe, your friends—why shouldn’t you hate them?”

Confusion. Mrsha stopped pulling and listened. Erin tugged her closer, until she was sitting across from Mrsha, very close. She met the Gnoll’s eyes.

“It’s not wrong. Anyone would hate them for that. Hating Goblins isn’t wrong. But hating all Goblins, hating these Goblins—that’s not right, either.”

The conversation had only one voice, but it was not one-sided. Mrsha narrowed her eyes and Erin went on.

“Listen, Mrsha. I am going to tell you something important. Something you have to learn. And it’s this: people are not the same. Understand?”

A silence. Uncomprehending. Pain.

“That’s all there is. People are not the same. Where I come from Mrsha, people look…well, we’re all Human. But we’re not all the same. Some of us have black skin, some have white skin, others have long hair—some are men and some are women. We are not all the same. Not all Humans are the same, right? That’s simple. You’re smart. You know that Lyonette and I aren’t the same, right?”

A smile and in return, a small nod. Puzzlement.

“But some people think that, oh, because Lyonette and I are both female that we’re the same. Or—they think all people with black skin are the same. And that’s not true. There are good people and bad people, Mrsha. And they might look alike in some ways, but they aren’t. I could look at Ishkr and Brunkr and if I was really silly, I’d say they look alike. But they’re not, are they?”

A quick shake of the head.

“No, no they aren’t. But some people think that way. In fact, most of us do it. We don’t mean to, but we do. And that means we judge everyone by the actions of a few. Like Goblins. They are not all the same.”

Eyes widening. Looking away, tense.

“Mrsha. Not all Goblins are the same. That is what I have to tell you. Just that.”

Just that? Looking back. A nod.

“That’s it. I’m not going to tell you all Goblins aren’t evil, or they aren’t all murderers, because then I’m talking about all of them. I’m just telling you that you can’t judge all of them without seeing them. Like the ones downstairs. They’re Goblins. But they haven’t hurt anyone. Aside from evil goats, that is.”

Looking down. Paw clenched. Erin lowered her voice softly.

“You don’t have to like them. I won’t ever make you do that.”

Mrsha looked up.

“I promise. You don’t even have to go near them. But you can’t hurt them. Because they’re not the ones who killed your tribe.”

The Gnoll began to shake. Erin drew her closer and hugged her.

“I’m sorry, Mrsha. They’re not. They might look like Goblins, but they are not the same. They didn’t know. And you don’t have to like another Goblin if you don’t want to. You don’t have to forgive. Not right now. But you can’t blame them all for the same thing. They’re different. Like you and like me.”

Silence. Trembling. Erin tried to explain the last bit. The most important bit.

“I’m letting them stay here. Not because I think they’re innocent, but because I don’t think they’re bad. And Mrsha, they’ve given me no reason to distrust them. If they did, I would kick them out in an instant. Believe me. But they’ve done nothing bad. So that’s why I’m giving them a chance.”

She whispered to the Gnoll as she hugged her.

“They might not deserve a second chance. But everyone deserves a first one. That’s what I think. And you don’t have to like that. You don’t have to like them. But you do have to accept that that’s what I believe. And if you try to hurt them again, Mrsha—that can’t happen. Understand?”

The Gnoll looked down. She wasn’t crying now. She was just…lost. Erin looked at her.

“Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going downstairs to sort the rest of this out, Mrsha. And you’re going to come with me.”

The Gnoll jolted in fear. Erin held her.

“You don’t have to do anything. You can sit with the Halfseekers. With Moore. And you’ll be safe, Mrsha. The Goblins won’t do anything. If they hurt you, if they do anything bad, you tell me and I will cut them up into little pieces. But I don’t think they will. If you see them doing something bad, you tell me. Otherwise, you come down this once, and then you can do what you want, okay?”

A long pause. Erin waited as Mrsha thought about this, as she struggled—and then nodded slowly. Erin bent and kissed her on the head.

“You’re very brave. And I know you’re hurting. Just remember what I told you. People are not the same. Now, let’s wipe that blood off and bring you downstairs. You can eat something hot and we’ll sort the rest of this out, okay?”

She reached out and a small Gnoll took her hand. And if Mrsha was afraid as they went downstairs, if she flinched from the Goblins, that was okay. She went willingly and sat next to Moore and Jelaqua, holding both their legs for support. That was all Erin had hoped for.

A start.

—-

This was how it got better. With food, with enforced sitting, as the blood cooled and regrets took over. With an [Innkeeper], going around to each table, talking to people, holding hands—treating them as people. Yellow Spatters sat very still and didn’t look around. He could sense the other Soldiers and Workers looking at him.

And he was lost. He didn’t know what he’d done. He’d tried to kill Purple Smile at the end of it. Another Soldier. One of his brothers.

One of his people.

He was barely conscious of Erin moving around the room, and then her exasperatedly arguing with the Gnoll, Ishkr, over an object.

“Why did you buy this if you cannot play it? It seems like a waste of money, yes?”

“I thought I could learn! I want music, Ishkr, and I don’t want to pay for a [Bard] or something. If I could teach myself—”

“Why not let me play?”

“Wait, you know how to play?”

Erin stared at the Gnoll in disbelief. Ishkr looked embarrassed and scratched behind one ear as Lyonette and Drassi passed out strong drinks for everyone.

“I play a bit. Not this instrument, but I have earned coins doing it before. Hrr. Ahem. This is similar to instruments I know, though. Still.”

He frowned at the guitar, looking at it dubiously.

“Why not an oud, or a mandolin? I’ve played a gittern, but this?”

Ishkr poked the guitar with one claw, looking dubious. Erin stared at him anxiously.

“I have no idea what those other things are. Most of the music from my country is on this…well, I guess there’s the violin, cello, and so on. Ukuleles…look, if you can play this, that’d be great.”

“Hrr. I can try.”

The Gnoll lifted the guitar and slung the strap around his shoulder. He strummed across the strings, making a sound that Erin hadn’t been able to after ten minutes of trying. Erin gasped with delight and hurried into the kitchen. Lyonette stared as Ishkr played a chord quickly and easily.

“Don’t your claws get in the way?”

Ishkr smiled at her.

“They do. I cut them short, but I’ve also learned to play with them. Many Gnoll instruments are made to be easier for my people to play anyways, though. And this is one.”

“Oh. No wonder Erin couldn’t play it.”

“Hrm? What? Humans could play it without much difficulty. Perhaps she is just, ah—”

He broke off as Erin came out of the kitchen. She had a bit of parchment in one hand and thrust it at him anxiously.

“I tried to write down songs in my spare time. Good ones from home. I can remember the lyrics, but the notes—I uh, I think I’ve gotten it mostly down. Could you—could you try playing this?”

Ishkr accepted the parchment and studied it. After a second he looked up.

“This—is not music, Miss Erin. I cannot read it.”

“What? No, it’s good music! Pop songs! Why can’t you play it?”

The Gnoll looked incredulously at her, and then shifted the parchment and pointed at a section.

“It says here…twang, twang, higher-pitched twang? How am I supposed to play that?”

Erin turned bright red and snatched the parchment back from him. Across the inn, a Goblin laughed out loud and then fell silent as everyone stared at him. But the laughter was good.

“I’m not good with music, okay? Look, how about this? Can you play something like—”

She hummed, and Ishkr tried to copy the sound. Erin broke off.

“No, not like that. Do it more like—double the sound here. Good! And make it lower. Longer—don’t glare at me! I know how it should sound in my head! Try another string. No, not that string. This string!”

As she argued with Ishkr, Lyonette went around the room, trying to serve the three different groups in the room and praying none of them would cause trouble. Surprisingly…they didn’t. The Antinium were sitting in a kind of meditative silence, Purple Smile and Yellow Splatters sitting and staring at each other and at Erin. Yellow Splatters had his arms folded, but he didn’t look like he was going to start another fight. He looked like he was sulking, actually.

The Goblins were listening to Erin and Ishkr, wincing every time he played a discordant note. But they seemed more entertained by this than they had by anything else. As for Mrsha and the adventurers—she was having her fur stroked by three different sets of hands at once as she stared at the Goblins. All was tranquil for now, and Lyonette conspired with Drassi and several mugs of alcohol to keep it that way.

“We’ve never served the Goblins ale!”

Drassi hissed at Lyonette as they filled up mugs by the bar. Lyonette shook her head. Really? They hadn’t? But everyone drank. And yet, Lyonette couldn’t remember ever serving the Goblins a real drink besides milk, juice, or water. That felt a bit…wrong, to her.

“So what? They’re guests, Drassi. Fill the mugs and serve them, and help me find the stronger stuff. Where does Erin keep it? We’ll try them on it, and if they don’t like it, well, Jelaqua and Seborn drink like mules!”

The Drake grimaced, but didn’t object. She pointed to the kitchen.

“Erin keeps it hidden behind the potatoes, remember? After Mrsha tried drinking some—”

“Right. Thanks!”

And then there was music. Lyonette went back into the common room and heard something. A melody. It was quiet, and had a few mistakes at the start, but there was a…feeling it carried. Just a few repeating notes on a guitar played by a Gnoll. But then Erin began to sing.

At first her voice was out of place. The guitar and her words were not enough. Erin frowned and looked around.