Chapter 2 – Accidental Rebirth (1/2)
It was impossible for me to have heard Zhao Yanyan’s words, because I was already dead, in other words Ge pi le.
When I awoke again, I found myself inside a large palace. It looked like those royal palaces that you could often see in TV shows based on the Qing dynasty, but it also had a pretty eerie atmosphere.
Right in front of me, was a humorous looking old person that said there thinking that he was very dignified, beside them were two unique looking people that seemed to be some sort of judge. Above the three of them was a large plaque, on it was three large characters —— Yama Palace.
Ugh, you can’t be serious. My first reaction was that if this was a TV show shooting? Seeing the scene, it should be a horror one, but based on what those three people were wearing it seemed like a comedy. I couldn’t help but sigh, there are too many third rated directors now!
As my thoughts wandered, the funny old man in the middle slapped the table in anger and stared, “Who is the one down there, why are you not kneeling in front of Yama?”
I momentarily blanked, they probably treated me as a part-time actor. I shouted, “Hey, old man, you found the wrong people right? I don’t want to act!”
Hearing me say these words, those three also momentarily blanked, Judge A on the side muttered to himself, “His grandmother, this person can’t also have mental issues right?”
Judge B took out the Life and Death Note, but couldn’t find anything all of a sudden, so he said in surprise, “Something’s wrong, there shouldn’t be anyone dying right now, who is the person down there?”
The funny old man slapped the table again and said, “The person down there, you’re already dead! Give me your name quickly, so I – Yama – can organize your reincarnation!”
I died?? How did I die? I suddenly remembered, that’s right, I’m dead. After I overdosed in alcohol on Zhao Yanyan’s wedding, then died after the rescue failed I found myself here.
It seems like I am actually dead. Fuck, I’ve been an utter failure this life, in the first half of my life I was just struggling, then I died without tasting love. This made me remember a classic quote from a very old movie: There was once sincere feelings in front of me, I didn’t treasure it, and only couldn’t regret after losing it, that is the most painful thing in a human’s life. If god would give me another chance, then I would tell the girl three words “I love you”, if I had to add a limit to this love, I hope it is: ten thousand years.
That old bro Yama said that I could reincarnate? That means I still have a chance to taste love, in my next life I will not let any of the women I love go! I thought so angrily.
That’s why I said to Yama, “Old bro Yama, I’m called Liu Lei, help me organize my reincarnation quickly!”
Yama angrily replied, “Screw off! Who in your grandmother’s name is your old bro, I am even older than your ancestors!”
After many years of experience in the business industry I understood how to flatter people, I knew that if I wanted Yama to organize my reincarnation in a good family, then I have to kiss this old man’s ass. I laughed, “I just meant that old bro looks so young, so energetic looking, if you didn’t tell me, I definitely couldn’t tell how old you are! Look, when I walked in, I thought it was a TV show shooting, that’s why I begun to think, where did the director find an actor as handsome as you, you’re so much more handsome compared to Chow Yun-fat and Andy Lau!” Saying this, I thought, Yama probably haven’t seen Chow Yun-fat and Andy Lau, so I immediately added, “So much more handsome than that brat Pan An!”
Hearing my words, Yama’s expression filled with delight, and turned his face filled with creases towards Judge A and asked, “Do I really look so young?”
That Judge A was probably used to flattering him, and replied without much thought, “Congratulations Yama, congratulations Yama, you are top tier among ghosts, more handsome than anyone!”
Yama laughed happily after hearing so, and said kindly to me, “What’s your name again? Oh right, it’s Liu Lei, You are like my best friend! This king will accept you as my little brother! Don’t worry little bro, I’ll definitely organize a good family for you!”
I quickly thanked him, my heart was filled with joy, my ploy worked!
Yama said to Judge B, “Find out life and death times of my little bro!”
After searching for a while, Judge B’s face was filled with incredible emotions, he said surprisingly, “Yama, look, your stepbrother has a life of hundred and eighty years, he couldn’t have died now!”
Hearing that, Yama took over the Life and Death Note seriously, after a long time, he slapped the table while clenching his teeth and yelled to outside the palace, “Shit, which blind xiaogui brought my little bro here?”
After a while, a xiaogui walked over in fear and immediately fell onto the floor after seeing Yama, “Please don’t be angry, Yama, this lowly one, this lowly one had coincidentally passed by the hospital, and seeing this brat, no your little brother was about to die, so I conveniently took him here!”
Ah? Hearing that I was mistakenly brought here, I was completely speechless. I’m way too unlucky, I though this kind of mistaken arrest only happened in the world of the living, I didn’t think the world of the dead was this dark as well.
Yama shouted angrily, “Fuck this, are your eyes growing from your ass? You caused an incident when there isn’t any! This Life and Death Note clearly says, my little bro would have an incident, but it didn’t say he’ll die! Someone come and boil him into the oil wok, and never allow him to reincarnate!”
Several odd looking people… Actually, ghosts instantly arrived, and took the xiaogui away.
I was uninterested about what would happen to that xiaogui, I just wanted to reincarnate quickly, I said to Yama, “Old bro, can’t you organize little bro to reincarnate first?”
Yama replied with a sour look, “Little bro, it’s not that old bro not organizing it for you. Rather, it’s because you were brought here by that blind idiot before your life was used up, so —— ai, there’s nothing I can do!”