360 The Village Road is Slippery (1/2)
The village road is slippery
Hong Haier: God Chen! Why are you not replying? (Puzzled)
Chen Xiaobei: I don't think I can help you in this… I'm a nice and pure teenager after all…
Hong Haier: Pure? Damn it, God Chen! You and your dirty mind! What the hell are you thinking about? I did not ask you to help my mom to solve her sexual needs by offering yourself! I want you to think of something to help her!
Chen Xiaobei: I'm dirty minded? You weren't clear on what you want, and you did ask me to solve your mom's sexual needs! Any normal person was bound to think of it the wrong way!
Hong Haier: (Sticking out tongue) Don't mind the little things! You're living on earth – the lost land. I'm pretty sure you guys have a whole bunch of creative methods to solve carnal desire! I want the best you can offer!
The best? That is asking too much of me!
Chen Xiaobei rolled his eyes. His mind was now in tatters thanks to Hong Haier.
Well, guys normally use their right hands to settle their carnal needs. As for girls…
Chen Xiaobei: I got it! You could ask your mom to try bananas, cucumbers or even bitter gourds!
Hong Haier: No way… Your methods are so old fashioned!
Chen Xiaobei: Cough… Old fashioned? Does that mean your mom tried those stuff?
Hong Haier: Yes! Now, she's using lotus stalks! There are holes and pores in those stalks so air can go in and out. Also, the water could flow out of the lotus. (Digging nose)
Lo… Lot… Lotus…
”Baaarf… What the hell! I learned something new today!” Chen Xiaobei's mind was blown. The ladies of earth were old fashioned compared to Princess Iron Fan!
He also suddenly felt the need to open himself up to all sorts of new wonders. How was it possible that a child possessed such filth in his mind? The Bull Demon King must be the bad influence.
Hong Haier: God Chen! Why'd you stop replying again? (Sticking out tongue) Monsters like us are straightforward, so we say whatever comes to mind! We're a little uncivilized to humans! I hope you don't mind!
Chen Xiaobei: It's always claimed that people living in cities are more dirty-minded compared to village people, but I just found out today that village roads can be slippery as well… People are really complicated! I'm definitely an innocent child compared to you!
Hong Haier: Stop talking about trivial stuff! (Sticking out tongue) Can you help me or not?
Chen Xiaobei: I have a way! I need some time to think …
”Damn it… I really need a Soul Orb… How can I help Princess Iron Fan? Hmm… I think I have to use something that only exist on earth… Oh right!” Chen Xiaobei thought for a while. Then, he ran out from his jewelry shop and texted Hong Haier at the same time.
Chen Xiaobei: Do you know what a love egg is?
Hong Haier: No idea…
Chen Xiaobei: Do you know what is a vibrator?
Hong Haier: No idea…
Chen Xiaobei: Great! Just wait! I can get you what you want really soon! (Excited)
Hong Haier: Is that true? (Looking forward)
...…..
Chen Xiaobei pocketed his cellphone and ran to an adult toy store to buy those items. Then, he found a hidden corner and sent them to Hong Haier!