44 Playing Doctor (1/2)
As the words replayed over and over in my head, it felt like everything suddenly fell into place, and I knew the true nature of why I was there. Virgo allowed Salt to take me because he had a job to do.
”Oh my God,” I said, my voice strained and erratic. ”I know why I'm here now. You're going to fucking kill me, aren't you?” Jumping to my feet, I moved further away from him. ”That's why he let you take me. You're supposed to kill me, Virgo wants me dead.”
My stomach coiled up with knots as thick and heavy as chain. Grabbing my stomach, I bent forward, doing my best to keep my stomach from decorating the floor. ”Fuck, I don't feel good. I'm going to be sick.”
”What—no,”he said, his lids lowering as he shook his head. ”I'm not going to kill you, Jessie. That's not why you're here.”
”Don't lie to me, do not fucking lie to me!” Raising my voice, I was almost screaming. ”It all makes sense now, all of it.” Dragging my nails through my hair, I was inhaling short gasps of air as my body shivered and my limbs went numb. ”I thought I was ready for this, I even thought I wanted it at one point. . .” Pausing, my eyes shot open as I stared at Salt. ”But I don't, that's why I wrote you that note, I'm not ready, I'm not—”
Cutting me off, Salt darted to my side, curling strong hands around my arms. ”Jessie!” he snapped, giving me a little shake. ”I'm not going to kill you, I swear. Look at me, look at me my flower.” Lifting his hands to my face, he cupped my cheeks, holding my head in place.
And then it happened.
Tears.
They came, they flowed, they fell freely as if a dam had been demolished and there was nothing holding them back.
”I don't want to die, Salt.”
”And you're not going to,” he said, holding his eyes steady on mine. ”That's not why I took you, that's not why I brought you here.”
Sniffling, my eyes were blurry, causing his face to morph and cloud over. ”Then why am I here?”
”I told you I could give you things. But, I'm not a monster and I can't grant wishes. You wrote me a note, a note I can't fulfill. I can give you something else, something you didn't ask for, but I want to give you. If you're not ready, I'll understand. ”
”I don't know what you mean. What are you giving me?”
Thinning his lips, his eyes dulled. Wiping the water off my cheeks, Salt softly licked his lips. My heart jumped inside my chest as he peered deep into my soul, looking past the scars, seeing through the shell I had built around myself.
”Look at you,” he said, running his fingers around my swollen eye. Smiling lightly, his eyes took note of all the other damage to my body. With the pads of his fingers, he softly touched the torn skin on the side of my arm.
Sucking in a gulp of air, I pulled myself together. ”I'm fine, it's nothing.” Wiping more tears off my face, I forced a smirk. ”It could have been worse.”