37 The Choices We Make (1/2)

Our conversation was interrupted by the loud voice of one of the nurses at the ward. The flimsy material separating the bed from the outside fluttered, pushed by a gust of wind, just enough to see Katie there, looking back startled at the nurse.

”I'm sorry, she's with me.” I rushed to push away the curtain and reach for her.

”We allowed you before hours just because you promised to keep it quiet. What is this bringing more people in?”

”She's the granddaughter. We promise we'll be quiet. It's almost opening hours, please let us stay a bit more.” I pleaded with the nurse while subtly passing her a couple of banknotes.

”Fine, just don't space out around here. You're blocking the way.”

”We understand, thank you!” The nurse took another look at us and turned back to her rounds.

I gently lead Katie to her grandmother's bed. She was still not responding only by keeping her eyes downward and her fingers interlocked.

”Are you ok?” I asked concerned at her unresponsiveness.

”I'm… fine, I am just thinking.”

”Good, I am sure you two want to talk to each other, I will wait for you outside.” I arranged one of the pliable chairs nearby for her to sit next to the bed and slowly pushed her shoulders, guiding her to take a seat before turning my attention back to her grandmother.

”I am glad to see you are feeling better Ma'am. I hope you'll get even better soon and be able to return home. Good day!” I said as I turned to leave.

Before I managed to exit the small space, I felt a tug to my sleeve. When I looked down I saw thin, pale fingers grabbing on the sleeve of my shirt. A slight trembling voice demanded that my full attention was turned to Katie.

”Stay for a bit more... ” Her face had a reddish tint but her eyes were still looking at the ground. I was unsure on what she wanted to do. I thought she wanted to talk to her grandmother first and foremost, and after all, I was an outsider here.

”Just for a bit, please stay… I still have not given my answer.” Her voice seemed strained and almost like a whisper, yet it felt incredibly sweet to me.

Several minutes had passed by, while both I and her grandmother were looking at Katie. We were waiting for her to continue.

My heart started beating harder and faster as time ticked away. It felt like hours had passed by, but even if I wanted to run away, her fingers were firmly holding onto me.

When she finally raised her eyes, she looked at me with glistering eyes and a determined look in them. At that moment, I thought my heart would stop. I wasn't sure if she was determined to continue or to end it. No matter how confident I might have sounded before, after all, it was not only my choice.

After a brief look at me, her resolute look turned towards her grandmother.

”I do, it might seem like a childish choice in your eyes, but I really do love him. I am happy that we got to meet, even if it's at this stage of our life.”

I almost couldn't hear her clearly because of the sound of my own heartbeat. This was the first time she had given a name to these feelings and coming from her I knew she meant every word she spoke. I grabbed the hand clutching my sleeve and gently squeezed it, receiving a confirmation as her fingers quietly interlocked with mine.

”You are just under a spell. Let me tell you… life isn't a fairytale. Prince Charming is not a real prince, and he will not rescue you every time. No matter how willing he appears.” Her grandmother replied glancing back at me with slight resentment in her eyes.

”I know, and I never expected to be saved… I never wanted to be a damsel in distress, despite my character, I simply want someone who can truly appreciate and care for our one-of-a-kind connection.”

”No relationship is forever, and no matter how much trust you might have, in the end, you will only get hurt.”

”Grandmother, I appreciate the care, but...” I could see her struggling to keep her tears in.

”I am not you!” She ended with an accusing tone.

”What do you mean?” Her grandmother looked shocked.

”I know about your friend...” She continued trying to keep a straight face. ”I know that he was engaged and yet you still liked him.”

”What nonsense are you talking about? In my whole life, I would not act so immoral as to want something that is not rightfully mine.” The heartbeat monitor was starting to increase the rhythm of the typical sounds.

”I know you didn't, but I also know that you regretted it. Regretted on not taking a chance as I am doing now.”

”What nonsense are you talking about?” She was becoming more and more agitated by Katie remained serious and looking straight into her eyes.

”It doesn't take much to figure it out, from your stories here and there, the look you have every time you remember that certain time...”

”That's just nonsense. You simply want an excuse.”

”You know as well as I do that that is not true.”

Her grandmother now red face was glancing around the room and settled on me with a distant look. After a few minutes of silence, the noisy heart rate monitor became quieter.

”In a way you are right, but you also aren't. I did have someone precious to me, who I decided not to fight for. But I never regretted it. The 'what if's' could not compare to what I had in the future. And in the end, I realized, it was simply infatuation to someone older, someone out of my reach. There was no eternal love.” Her gaze dropped on our interlocked fingers before a sigh left her wrinkled lips.

”That is why I don't want you to throw out your future for a moment infatuation.”

”I believe you. You know your heart the best. My love might seem simple infatuation, and even I suspected it might be that, but life has a funny way of proving me wrong. Day after day, instead of settling, I was longing. I missed everything, the good and the bad. I missed how he made me laugh, how he encouraged me, how he got mad for me, how he was there for me, and even how he got angry at me. I missed it all, no matter how much I tried to busy myself. Whether this will work or not, depends on us, but also on what life throws at us. But I am confident, that I will not give up easily, and neither will Gray.” She said and turned to face me.

”What do you say?” She asked looking for the answer in my eyes.

”I will not give up. Period. After all, I made a promise, and I keep my promises” I assured her and I could see a spark of happiness brighten her up.

”Then what? Do you want to marry a divorcee? Will you stand being pointed out, being called names?”

”Like Gray already said, we don't need such fake people in our lives. Praising on one side and calling us names when our back is turned. I do however care for my family and I want you to be happy for me.”

”How can I be happy when you're involved with a married man?” I silently sighed in my heart. Apparently being married once was a real problem.

Before Katie could say anything, I wanted to clear this.

”I might be married now but I will not be in the future. It might be better to say that if I had a chance I would have not married, but that would be a lie. My whole life, the choices I made, were what made me who I am now. If anything changed, I might have not had the chance to meet Kate. So I am grateful for everything, good or bad. My choices ultimately brought me here and made me who I am.”

”As much as my choices made me who I am.” Katie continued.

”You sprout such righteous lines, but can you give up everything else for each other?”