Chapter 82: Corporate Raid (1/2)
It was said that the show must go on, no matter what.
“And so, Little Gorynych attempted to catch the wild princess,” Ryan continued his play, having a three-headed dragon plasticine figurine pursue that of a pink princess. After running out of video material to humiliate Dynamis with, the courier had started to improvise. “But she ran too fast for his tiny legs, and poor Gorynych had forgotten he could fly!”
Nobody paid attention to his Shakespearean play, except Frank, whom the groundbreaking plot captivated. Everyone else instead focused on the inactive nuclear device on the newsdesk.
“You should have taken a dog, boss,” Sarin said, glaring at Eugène-Henry. The cat knew he had sinned, so he tried to look cute to avoid punishment. Unfortunately for him, Hazmat Girl didn’t have any heart to soften. “I understand why the Chinese ate them.”
“Come on, I disarmed the countdown,” Ryan said, though he had to freeze time for it. He abandoned his play to scratch his cat’s ears and reassure him. “You’re sorry you scared them, huh? You didn’t want to kill them all, it was an accident…”
Tea cleared her throat. It was just a vocal effect, since as an android she didn’t need to breathe. “Ryan, I thi—”
“Mr. President,” Ryan corrected her. “You’re my friend, Doll, but we’re on TV right now.”
“Mr. President, while I love animals, I believe you are spoiling your cat rotten.”
“Gooood,” his master replied with a deep dark voice, before noticing Livia nervously approaching him. “Yes?”
His new sidekick began to whisper in his ear. “I’m seeing Wyvern attacking Mosquito, and an Il Migliore team besieging the building alongside the Private Security.”
“Is the Panda among them?” Ryan asked, suddenly worried.
“Who?” Livia asked, apparently never having taken notes on the mighty manbear.
“The Panda, the chosen one,” Ryan explained, loud enough for the hostage and TV viewers to hear. “The only Genome whose power trumps mine. Our long-awaited duel has been foretold by precogs.”
Livia giggled behind her helmet. “No, I don’t think so,” she whispered, only to turn serious. “But… Felix is among them, and a few of my alternate selves die from glass shards to the neck.”
Urgh, so the Carnival did intend to target them this time around. The courier learned enough about Dynamis to predict their movements, but he couldn’t say the same for Hargraves. Did the Carnival ally with the Manada brothers like in the previous timeline? Or did they remain free agents for now?
“We’ll make sure nothing happens to Felix,” Ryan whispered back too low for others to listen, before hamming it up. “With our combined power, Queen Crimson, we will rule all ofNew Rome!”
“Start ruling your stupid cat and then we’ll see about the city,” Sarin said, unimpressed.
“In any case, we’re returning home.”
“What about the hostages?” Tea asked, almost hopeful. “Do we take them with us?”
Ryan shrugged his shoulders. “I realized it was a bit redundant to keep a dozen people hostage, when we have a nuclear device to threaten the city with.”
“And I do not think we have enough space in the truck,” Livia pointed out the obvious.
“Aw,” the Doll said, lowering her weapon and allowing the hostages to breathe. “I was starting to like them.”
Tea had known them for half an hour, and she already developed Lima Syndrome? She was too soft for the job.
The group exited the Star Studios warehouse one minute afterward, with Sarin carrying the A-bomb and Frank the plasticine figurines. Ryan walked at the front, holding Eugène-Henry in his arms like a diabolical mastermind on a stroll.
No sooner did they pass the warehouse’s doors than a shockwave almost caused them to trip up. The courier raised his eyes, and watched Mosquito wrestling with a fully transformed Wyvern up in the skies. The courier remembered that they fought in an early loop, with the dragon lady squashing the Psycho like a bug.
But now that Mosquito had overfed, he more than held his own. The flying beefcake punched Wyvern so hard that it caused windows in the vicinity to crack; the blow sent the dragon tumbling backward, but she quickly corrected her descent. She retaliated with her breath, Mosquito fleeing out of the path at astonishing speed.
While the two titans duked it out in the skies, the group prepared to return to their truck, only to find it surrounded by a dozen Private Security members in black riot gear. Multiple laser rifles pointed at Ryan and his men, while one wise soldier targeted the president’s crotch. None of them opened fire though.
As Livia warned, they also had a few Genomes with them. Atom Kitty, who didn’t carry throwable weapons yet; Reload, that cheap knockoff, who at least had the decency of bringing a lightsaber; and Ryan’s favorite hero in the world.
“Hi, Wardrobe!” The courier warmly greeted his future rival. “We finally meet in the flesh!”
“Hi, nice to meet you too, Quicksave!” Wardrobe waved a hand at the group. This time she cosplayed as an FBI hostage negotiator, with a megaphone in hand. “I loved your stop motion play!”
“Wardrobe, please don’t encourage that madman,” Atom Kitten said, hands raised. He looked like a cat ready to pounce on mice and eager to finally stretch his legs. Livia tensed at the sight of her ex-boyfriend, but wisely remained silent.
“Sorry, sorry!” Wardrobe apologized before raising her megaphone. “Please surrender, you’re surrounded!”
“And you’re outgunned!” Sarin replied while raising the A-bomb, Wyvern and Mosquito’s duel causing more shockwaves. “Back off!”
A few Private Security members raised their rifles at Miss Gasshole, but none dared to pull the trigger.
“I’m Mr. President now,” Ryan said, scratching his cat behind the ears. Frank stood proudly behind his master, while the Doll pointed her rocket launcher at Reload. “You should know, of all people. After all, Wardrobe… you created me.”
“I created you?” she asked with a frown, before studying his costume in depth. Her face paled, upon recognizing the ensemble’s perfect harmony of colors; the authority of the necktie, the softness of the gloves, the savagery of the bowler hat. “It was you… it was you who asked for the costume!”
“Wardrobe, you know this guy?” asked Reload, his hands tightening around his weapon.
“I designed his costume!” Wardrobe paled in horror at the terrible truth. “But I didn’t know someone would use it for evil!”
“It has skulls on the socks!” Felix snarled, pointing a finger at Ryan’s boots. “What did you expect?”
“That’s right, Wardrobe,” Ryan said, his voice as deep as the darkest abyss. “By creating this cashmere suit, you sowed the seeds of your own nemesis. A grim darkness born of your shining light.”
“My… my nemesis?” Emotion broke through Wardrobe’s face, as her wish for a flashy supervillain archenemy was granted. “I have a secret nemesis?”
“Yes, you do.” Ryan extended one hand at her, holding Eugène-Henry with the other. “Join me, Wardrobe. Become my archenemy, every day of the week. Together, nothing can stop our brand. We will build a multi-billion euro franchise, greater than even Star Wars! We will flood the market with merchandise, and we will rule the box-office! Only through me, can you achieve the popularity you crave!”
“Yes, yes! Oh Mr. President, I accept your offer!” Wardrobe surrendered to the lure of a long-term exclusive rivalry. “We’ll be fighting forever!”
“Good, how about we schedule our first fight tomorrow? Would tomorrow be alright?” Ryan took a few steps forward, not waiting for an answer. “I have a very busy agenda. Doomsday weapons won’t build themselves.”
Reload moved in the president’s path, weapon raised. “You’re not going anywhere, you maniac.”
“Is it me, or do you really think you can actually stop us?” Ryan channeled his inner villain, while Sarin dangled the A-bomb threateningly. “Don’t force me to assert my authority.”
“Be wary, Reload, he can stop time for an unknown duration,” Atom Cat warned his fellow hero. “He’s also probably a Genius of some kind from the bomb, but we don’t know his specialty yet.”
“A Genius?” Ryan blinked behind his mask. “Wait, you think I’m a Psycho with two powers?”
Atom Kitten snorted. “Dude, you hold an entire city hostage with a nuclear device and a band of mutants. Either you’re a Psycho, or you’re just psycho.”
“Your reputation for mental instability makes a lot more sense now,” Reload added.
Frank took a step, ignoring the laser rifles pointed at him. “Mr. President, do you want me to clear the area?”
“They’re going to do that on their own, or I’m pressing the butto—” Sarin froze, as the weapon suddenly vanished from her hand. “Huh?”
“I’ve got it!” Wardrobe rejoiced, having quickly changed her costume. Her clothes had transformed into that of a French gentleman with a monocle, a long cloak, and a top hat from which she had drawn the A-bomb.
Arsène Lupin?
Ryan immediately protested, “Someone is getting choked for th—”
Reload immediately leaped at the courier with his laser blade raised. However, Frank swiftly grabbed his leg in midair with one hand, and splattered him on the ground like a club. The poor Violet Genome immediately regenerated, and cut off his own leg before Frank could kill him again.
“Minions, dispose of these annoyances, without touching the truck!” Ryan ordered, as the Private Security opened fire. The courier froze time to sidestep the barrage, while Livia and Sarin took refuge behind Frank. The lasers failed to pierce the Doll’s reinforced metal body, though they burnt off parts of the artificial skin. “But leave me the young kitty!”
“I don’t have a cat theme!” Felix snarled, attempting to touch Ryan with his naked hand. The president gracefully sidestepped to dodge the blow, and then a second. Atom Cat’s hands furiously tried to reach for the courier’s chest, but Ryan had time and experience on his side.