12 12-Dark Thoughts and Dim Lights (1/2)

I run to the park, hoping he's there since his parents said he wasn't home, but it's full of kids. I run to his apartment complex and search the parking area, the pool, nothing. I run up the stairs to his apartment and start banging on the door.

”Zayne! Zayne are you in there?” No answer, ”Zayne come on. Your parents are worried about you, I'm worried about you, Arriana is worried about you. Arriana knew I wasn't going to hide anymore, she doesn't care what people say, she cares about me. She cares about you, about us.”

I pull out my phone and call his mom, she tells me where to find the spare key to get inside. She also knows they didn't lock the door. I dig for the key and shove it in the door, I run inside but trip over what I assume is a chair. It's completely dark in here, all the blinds are closed and the lights out.

”Zayne?” I let out a harsh whisper, ”Come on where are you?”

I pull out my phone, turning on the flashlight. The apartment is for the most part still clean and tidy, but a couple chairs are knocked over and Zayne's backpack is on the floor by the coffee table.

His door is closed, the lights are out in there too. I don't see or hear anything, the entire apartment is still. I'm almost afraid that I'm walking into some horror movie shit.

I go into his room and find the light switch, illuminating the room and finding curled into a ball on his bed.

I sit next to him, ”Zayne? Zayne what's going on?”

He's got himself buried in blankets, only the top of his pink hair poking out. He's shaking slightly, making the bed shake with him.

I pull the blanket off his face to find him squeezing his eyes shut, crying. I pet the back of his head slowly.

”Zayne, you scared us. Your parents didn't know where you were, you just disappeared for close to an hour. Arriana and your mom sat in the office staring at me hoping that you would respond to my texts.”

He starts sobbing, pressing the blanket to his eyes, ”Why did you do that?” he mutters between the hiccups.

”Do what?” I run my hand down his neck to his shoulder.

”Why did you come out like that? Why did you get in the middle of it? Why? I never wanted anyone to say those things to you, or Arriana! I never wanted your parents to find out the way mine did, because of a fight!”

”I promise you, it's all ok. Honestly I was so sick of hiding it, hiding you and both Arriana and I knew what the backlash would be. We didn't care Zayne, living an ugly truth is better than a constant lie. Arriana encouraged me to do this. My parents though,” I take a minute and think of my journal, ”Zayne I couldn't even start to tell you how many times I've tried to figure out the perfect way to tell them, how many times I prepared a 'perfect' speech. I'd rather they find out by me standing up for someone, and someone I care about, instead of me telling them in a pre-planned conversation. I'm happy to finally be free of a lie, I'm happy I can really be here for you now, the only thing I'm not happy about is how you're feeling right now. None of this is your fault, Zayne. Conrad brought this whole thing down on us, he's the one who made it messy.”

He lays there completely still aside from his shaking. I try to pull his blankets back but he fights me to keep them close. I grab tightly and pull back as hard as I can, revealing him shirtless on his sheets with deeper cuts now on his arms and even some blood soaked into the sheets.

”Zayne,” my heart stops, most of the cuts aren't bleeding anymore but a few still are. I don't know what to say.

He grabs the blanket and pulls it back up to his chin. I get up and leave the room, not taking my eyes off him as I call his mom.

”Can you or Mr. Daveen come get us. He's not doing good, he can't be alone right now. I need to talk to my parents and I know I have to face the consequences of the fight but I can't leave him,” she tells me she's on her way, Zayne's dad and my dad are both heated and yelling at the counselors and Mrs. Jennings.

I go back to sit with Zayne, pulling him out a fresh shirt and his hoodie, he refuses to get up until his mom opens the door. He sits up and glances at her for a second before yanking the shirt from my hand. His eyes are dark and drooping, as he pulls his shirt on his mom starts crying at the sight of his arms.

Zayne pushes past her and walks out the door, leaving me to comfort her as she tries to hold back the tears.

”My baby,” she cries quietly, ”He used to be so happy, so energetic and friendly. You'd never see him without a smile. They've destroyed him, they took his spirit and stomped it out, they've taken my baby from me,” she cries into my shoulder for a minute before composing herself enough to drive.

Zayne wanted to sit alone in the back for the short ride, his mom and I keep glancing back at him. When we park back at the school I take Zayne to the nurse while Mrs. Daveen goes to continue with the principal.

The nurse cleans his cuts before putting gauze over them and wrapping his wrists tightly, she gives a sad, concerned look before he slips on his hoodie and walks out.

He doesn't look at anyone, not me or even Arriana as he sits in the corner bouncing his leg. He put his headphones in and I can hear his music from three seats over.

”Josh,” Mrs. Jennings peaks around the corner of the doorway, ”Your parents want to talk to you.”

I feel sick to my stomach, giving my sister one last smile before taking my final walk. I walk to Mrs. Jennings office where she leaves me and my parents to talk in private.