Chapter 3: A Gentle and Friendly Wolf – translated by Erialis (1/2)

“Prince, I think it’s meaningless to continue like this,” Lolidragon said, both her tone and gaze pleading.

My eyebrows furrowed. Sigh! As I expected, here it comes.

“Fine, we’ll do what needs to be done!” Gripping her shoulders tightly, I looked at Lolidragon with a firm expression.

“You’ve finally agreed to it…” Seeing how ecstatic she looked, I thought, Sigh! Forget it, as long as she’s happy…

“Yaaay! We’re finally out of the newbie area, whew! I was getting bored to death, staying in that tiny area,” she said enthusiastically.

Sigh! Truth be told, I still felt that the nearby Skeletons’ Cave was a pretty good place to train. Even though the experience yielded was not much for the level thirty-three Lolidragon and the level thirty-five me (not to forget the level twenty-three Meatbun!), we could take the mobs down in seconds most of the time, so we actually weren’t leveling up too slowly. I had planned to continue like this all the way to level forty, but Lolidragon was starting to feel restless. She kept whining about wanting to go to the big cities…

Thus, after three days – during which my ears nearly went deaf from her non-stop whining – I reluctantly bade farewell to the skeletons…

Let’s go! After all, I was rather curious about the outside world. After paying for our travel fares, Lolidragon and I left the newbie village and began our journey into a new world.

“Prince, why did you pick Star City over Sun City and Moon City?” she asked just before we set out.

I shrugged. “My brother’s been hanging out in Star City, and he keeps telling me about the best places to train there. I figured that since I already have some familiarity with it, we might as well go there!”

Upon reaching Star City, I could only think of one word to describe it: Beautiful. It really was a beautiful city, with its quaint European-styled streets and buildings, and the star-studded sky overhead. Stepping out of the teleportation point and walking along the white, cobbled streets, I felt as though I had become more elegant and more refined.

Lolidragon clung to me as we walked. Don’t misunderstand; this was just a secret arrangement between the two of us. Whenever we had to appear in a place with other players, we would put up a show of affection, or else… Well, I’m sure everyone’s gotten the point. (Sigh! My Litheness ability even reached level three because of all those pretty girls chasing after me as though they were possessed…) Even so, no matter where we went, the girls nearby would turn to stone and stare at me dazedly, and then turn to glare venomously at Lolidragon.

“Prince, can we dine at a fancy restaurant? Please?” Lolidragon asked, looking at me beseechingly and I scratched my head.

That sounded like a pretty good idea. After all, in the newbie village, the best food you could get was meat buns… However, ever since I had accidentally mistaken Meatbun for a normal meat bun and tried to take a bite, I’d stuck to eating mantous.

“Alright. After all, we’ve got more than enough money, so let’s go get a taste of the local flavor!”

After carefully browsing through a catalogue, Lolidragon and I decided on a lakeside restaurant. The building was mostly constructed from clear glass and as the two of us entered, a pretty waitress came over.

“Table for two, please,” I said to the waitress with a faint smile (that Lolidragon had drilled into me), looking every inch a prince.

The pretty waitress turned to stone. Shit, I thought, breaking out in cold sweat, I didn’t expect the waiters here to be real people! Without thinking, I tightened my grip on Lolidragon’s right arm.

“A hottieee!” The pretty waitress cried out in wonder. It was a soft cry, so only the people on the ground floor heard. I panicked as all heads turned to look at me, thinking, What– what should I do now? Oh god, looks like it’s going to be hard to even grab a bite.

“Maintain your refined aura, and don’t worry! With first-class merchandise like you, plus a super-ultra-beauty like me, nobody will dare to approach us,” Lolidragon PMed me. She, the unmatched beauty, had taught me this trick. She had told me, The more you’re being stared at, the more you need to present yourself as superior merchandise. That way, you’ll make them feel inferior, and they won’t dare approach.

Fighting back the urge to flee, I adjusted the faint smile on my face a little and said gently, “Miss, a table for two – would you be so kind as to guide us to a seat?”

The pretty waitress reddened and, with some difficulty, finally led us to a seat. Still wearing that faint smile I sat down and turned to stare at the other diners. As expected, it was very effective and those whom I gazed upon didn’t dare to look at me again.

I flipped the menu open. Using it as a shield to conceal our faces from others, Lolidragon and I discarded our earlier expressions. Looking for all the world like two people who hadn’t eaten a proper meal for several months, the two of us began to discuss the menu in low voices…

“Prince, I want to eat this, and this.”

Looking at the pictures, I had to swallow a few mouthfuls of saliva. “I want those too, and this…”

“That looks pretty good too…”

“Lolidragon, you’re drooling!”

“You’re one to talk, look at your own pauper-like face…”

I retorted, “Haven’t you read The Prince and the Pauper before?”

“Don’t forget to order a few meat buns for Meatbun…”

The pets in Second Life required feeding. After lots of experimentation, I’d finally PMed a GM to ask, “Excuse me, GM, but could you tell me what a meat bun eats?”

The GM’s response was as follows: “Please do not attempt to make fun of a GM. If you try it again, you will be forced to log off and your account will be suspended for a month.”

Following that, the undefeatable hidden GM Lolidragon had brought the entire matter before their superiors. The other GM had been thoroughly lectured by the higher-ups…and I discovered that the normal meat buns in my bag had actually vanished without a trace. As Lolidragon had insisted that she hadn’t secretly eaten them, I – dubiously – decided to try feeding Meatbun some normal meat buns. Meatbun had then actually happily eaten three of its own kindred…!

Putting down the menu, Lolidragon once again adopted the appearance of a blissful young woman. I too, put on a princely demeanor and successfully gave our order to the blushing waitress.

Time passed excruciatingly slowly as we waited for our meal. For the sake of appearances, Lolidragon and I could only converse softly, plus we had to be careful not to be overheard.

What a pain… Huh? Why can’t we let others overhear?

The contents of our conversation were like this…

“Lolidragon, you should give up on Chun Li’s ultimate! That helicopter move definitely isn’t humanly possible.”

“I don’t want to! That move is su-uper cool; I will definitely master it. Plus, look who’s talking! You’re the one who keeps experimenting with Iori Yagami’s Rage of the Eight Maidens.1 Now that isn’t humanly possible.”

“No, I’m not. Right now I’m modifying Kenshin’s Nine-headed Dragon Strike.”2

“Sigh! Why is Yang Guo’s Melancholic Palms3 so hard to execute?” Lolidragon complained.

“Nonsense. After all, the writer – Master Jin Yong – said that, to use Melancholic Palms, one must possess feelings of melancholy. When have you ever been melancholic?”

“I have,” Lolidragon replied innocently. “I even cried once when I was chopping onions…”

“…”

As Lolidragon and I were having that nonsensical conversation, a group of people were coming down the stairs from the second floor…

“Wu Qing, the Raging Dragon’s Valley may be a little dangerous, but with the six of us and you, going there to train, it should pose no problem,” a handsome and refined human warrior was saying to the guy next to him as they descended the stairs.

“That’s right, Wu Qing. Come with us!” Eh? I thought. That open and honest attitude and expression… Isn’t that Li’l Strong? And beside him are Legolas and For Healing Only…

“Since friend Broken Sword and friend Li’l Strong have offered such a warm invitation, Feng Wu Qing shall not further refuse, and will join you as a member of Rose Team. Let us work hard together from now on!” Feng Wu Qing was wearing a stylish robe4 and holding a jade flute. All that, in addition to that extremely handsome face, was enough to render Rose Team’s mage, Snow White Rose, and a pretty human thief, Fairsky, utterly mesmerized.

Sitting by the stairs, I heard every word that was being said. Hearing the name “Feng Wu Qing”, together with that irritating way of talking that was an obvious imitation of Chu Liu Xiang,5 I narrowed my eyes. Don’t tell me it’s… I thought as I turned around slowly…

That face! Though it’s been beautified, as his twin sister of nineteen years, I am definitely NOT mistaken. It’s that DAMN LITTLE BROTHER OF MINE, Feng Yang Ming! Eh, and that female elf…is Snow White Rose! My dear sister!

At this point, the pretty human girl with them seemed to have noticed me. As expected, she turned to stone.

“Fairsky? What’s the matter? Why have you stopped mid-step?”Legolas asked, seeing that Fairsky had frozen.

“Fairsky?” The rest of Rose Team looked questioningly at Fairsky and then, following her line of sight, turned to look at me…

“What’s wrong, Prince?” Lolidragon PMed me, having seen my strange behavior.

“The most handsome guy over there, the human swordsman, Feng Wu Qing, is my little brother.”

“Does he know…?”

“He knows that I’m a tranny, but he doesn’t know who I am!” Then I added, “Don’t let him find out.”

“Oh. Okay, then behave more naturally; your face is stiff as a corpse’s.”

Hearing that, I adjusted my expression and smiled slightly at them.

“So handsome…” Fairsky said, dazedly.

Feng Wu Qing, however, looked rather annoyed. He was obviously wondering where “that fellow” had came from (From your house…) and how that fellow – who was only a little good-looking – had actually dared to snatch the spotlight away from himself. Wu Qing became even more pissed off when he turned around and saw that Rose – even Rose!– was regarding that fellow with an expression of wonder.

At this, I got up and walked over. After all, Rose and the others had helped me before. The very least I could do was to go up and say hi to them.

“It’s been a while, Rose, Li’l Strong, Legolas, For Healing Only,” I said.

“You know us?” Li’l Strong asked, extremely surprised. His impression was that he’d never met this good-looking guy before. The others had similarly puzzled expressions.

I smiled faintly. “I’m Prince.”

“Prince…?”

My smile became wry. Looks like they’ve completely forgotten about me, I thought. “That mask-wearing Prince, remember?”

“Ah… It’s you.” Li’l Strong lightly rapped his temple, realizing why he couldn’t remember this face.

“The one who used taekwondo to fight mobs?” For Healing Only said, his eyes alight with laughter.

“Were you wearing a mask then because you were too good-looking?” Legolas asked with an odd expression.

“Yeah…” Just then, Lolidragon came over to stand beside me. “Ah, let me introduce everyone. This is my companion, Lolidragon. Lolidragon, this is Rose, Li’l Strong, Legolas, and For Healing Only. They’ve helped me out before.”

Lolidragon took me by the arm and gave them an incandescent smile. “Hello.”

“So it’s you, Prince…” my dear sister, Rose, said bashfully. I broke out in cold sweat at her tone.

Suddenly, my little brother interrupted. “Hello. I’m a new member of Rose Team, Feng Wu Qing.”

He gave a slight smile. I recognized that smile as his so-called coolest, most confident, Chu Liu Xiang-styled smile. My brother once told me that if he shows this expression to a girl, it means that he wants to make her fall for him; whereas if he shows this expression to a guy, it means that he wants to challenge him… What the heck! What are you challenging me for!?

“Hello!” I replied with a faint smile. In my heart, however, I was thinking, What the hell is up with that challenging expression?! It’s pissing me off! Grr, keep that up and I won’t be cooking dinner for you later…

As a strange tension developed between the two of us, the two girls – Snow White Rose and Fairsky – looked at Feng Wu Qing. They then turned to look at me, seeming as though they were torn between two choices…I felt like collapsing onto the ground as realization hit me. Now I get it!

STUPID BROTHER! I’m NOT trying to snatch your GIRLS from you! I yelled silently in my head.

My brother only gave a twirl of his jade flute, still playing it cool. He smiled and said, “Friend Prince truly is blessed, to have a significant other as beautiful as Lolidragon; seeing such a yuan-yang couple6 leaves me truly envious, sigh!”

I forced a smile. “You flatter us…”

“Is your little brother this much of a skirt-chaser in private, too?” Lolidragon asked in a PM, even as she maintained the appearance of a demure young woman.

“As if. If I’m the only one around, he drops that Chu Liu Xiang attitude and becomes a total idiot.”

Upon hearing Feng Wu Qing’s words, Fairsky and Rose both turned pale and Fairsky hurriedly asked, “Prince, are you two really lovers?”

“Yeah, Lolidragon is…my wife.”

Fairsky’s face nearly fell off. To think that she finally met such an ideal hottie, only to find out that he was married – and that his wife was an incomparable beauty! Her mood completely soured. Fairsky looked at my perfect and handsome appearance with longing. A chill just ran up my spine!

No, I won’t give up! She thought. I still have a secret weapon…

Just then, Lolidragon noticed my awkwardness and instantly created an excuse for me to escape.

“Dear, our food’s been served!”