Part 14 (1/2)

Jerkline Jo postponed the start a day, and awaited the coming of the applicants.

As the local pa.s.senger train from Los Angeles whistled for Palada, Mr.

Orr Tweet roused himself from his seat in the smoker and slapped the muscle-corded thigh of the disconsolate Hiram Hooker.

”She blows, Hiram, old boy!” cried Mr. Tweet. ”Fame and fortune await us just ahead. She slows! She creeps! Palada opens her arms to us!

Perk up, Hiram! The girl wasn't your kind, my boy. You'd have stepped all over her little feet, and she'd got a divorce and alimony on the grounds o' cruelty.”

Hiram Hooker sighed and stretched his columnar arms. For a moment or two the new prospects that loomed kept his mind busy, then his thoughts reverted to Lucy Dalles, and gloom claimed him once more.

”Don't talk like that, Playmate,” he said. ”You don't understand. I loved the girl.”

”Prune juice! She'd 'a' made a regular sucker outa you. Good thing I got you away. A big mountain o' blood and bone like you fallin' for a dash o' cake frosting like that little hasher. Hiram, you've got a man's body and a man's brains, and I like you better the more I see of you. If you're goin' to weep over a woman, weep over a regular woman, boy--a man's woman. There! Look out the window. See that straight, strong, black-headed desert girl in chaps and a Stetson? Look at the brown of her! Look at her stride! Queen o' the earth, hey? That's the kind of a woman for a man with the body of an elephant and the imagination of a poet, like you've got. There's a girl worth sighin'

for, only she wears leather chaps! Well, out we go. Palada for a toehold on the ladder o' fame and fortune!”

The train had squeaked to a stop, and the effervescent Mr. Tweet and his huge companion descended the steps to the sunny platform. The businesslike Mr. Tweet b.u.t.tonholed the first villager he met, and informed him:

”We're lookin' for a party called Jerkline Jo--a lady with a far-flung reputation. Can you steer us to her rendezvous, my friend?”

The man stared at him a moment, then jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

”There's Jo over there,” he said. ”She's lookin' for ye, I reckon.

That pretty girl in the chaps.”

”Her!” gasped Mr. Tweet. ”Lordy! And I was just eulogizin' her through the window o' the coach. I saw her first--Hiram--I saw her first!”

Next second Mr. Tweet was before Jerkline Jo, lifting his hat and bowing politely. Behind him, Hiram Hooker stood awkwardly looking at the girl he had traveled six hundred miles to work for.

”Madam,” said his companion, ”if you are Jerkline Jo, permit me to introduce myself and my friend. I am Mr. Tweet--Playmate Tweet--Twitter-or-Tweet Orr Tweet. My friend and companion in arms is Hiram Hooker, from the virgin forests of Wild-cat Hill. I hope we find you well, and a look into your face tells me that I never hoped for a surer thing in my life. Madam, when you know me better, you will learn that I am not fresh, merely bubbling over with the joy of existence.”

For a little Jerkline Jo gazed at him, then burst into ringing laughter. ”Well, if you can drive jerkline,” she said, ”there's no doubt but that you will be a pleasant addition to our little family.

I'm happy to meet you, Mr.----”

”Playmate Tweet--Twitter-or-Tweet Orr Tweet.”

”_What_?”

”Orr Tweet--Twitter-or-Tweet Orr Tweet,” patiently repeated Mr. Tweet.

”Are you trying to be funny?” The dark eyes narrowed dangerously.

”I am funny,” corrected Mr. Tweet. ”I can't help it. Allow me to explain: My last name, unfortunately, is Tweet. Tweet is the well-known conversational effort of a bird, and also 'Twitter,' if we are to believe the bird lovers. Therefore, I am ruthlessly called Twitter at times by my friends, and more often Twitter-or-Tweet. Orr is my first name. Orr Tweet. Suppose, for instance, my name happened to be Jim Brown, and I had been given the nickname of Blister. Then I would be called Blister Jim Brown, or Blister Brown. But my name is Orr Tweet, and my nickname is Twitter-or-Tweet. Therefore, I am Twitter-or-Tweet Orr Tweet, or Twitter-or-Tweet Tweet. You've heard the story of the lady who asked the ticket agent for 'Two to Duluth,'

haven't you? He thought she was flirting with him, and came back with 'Tweedle-de-dee;' whereupon she slapped him. So far I have escaped such consequences when telling people my name. But if, when asked, I reply 'Orr Tweet,' they say 'What or Tweet?' Then if I reply 'Twitter-or-Tweet _Orr_ Tweet,' they look at me as if they thought I was trying to kid 'em. So I begin my explanation by giving them my nickname, or monaker, 'Playmate,' and follow it with my second monaker, 'Twitter-or-Tweet,' as I am frequently called, or Twitter-or-Tweet Orr Tweet, or Twitter-or-Tweet Tweet. It's very simple.”

Jerkline Jo laughed again at the end of this seemingly nonsensical harangue, and fixed her dark eyes on Hiram Hooker. The giant stood staring at her, and not a thought of Lucy Dalles was in his mind now.

His blue eyes caught her dark ones, and his glance was lowered in confusion. Womanlike, Jerkline Jo took him in at a glance, and something within her responded to the appeal that his handsome manhood made to femininity.