Part 39 (1/2)

”I thought he was deeply enamoured of you. It seems strange.”

”He was. But I was not going to have him.”

”He has not asked, remember.”

”He was on the point of it. He is a very rich man, Tamsyn. He will have a high-sounding t.i.tle one day. He is just the man my mother wanted for me.”

”Yet he did not offer.”

”Because I did not want him to.”

”You told him so?”

”That would not have stopped him, but I had to stop him somehow because if he had I am sure the temptation would have been too much for them to resist. So I worked a spell.”

”Oh Senara, do not talk so. I have asked you so many times not to.”

”Nevertheless I stopped him. It was a very natural sort of spell. A man in his position at Court could not have a witch for a wife.”

”Sometimes I think you are mad, Senara.”

”Nay, never that. I am so pleased that my spell worked that I want to tell you about it. Have you ever thought, Tamsyn, how we can make our servants work for us? They can do so much with a little prompting. I have made good use of servants ... always. You are not attending. You are wondering whether Fenn will come soon. I will tell you something. He won't come. He doesn't want you any more than Thomas Gren.o.ble wants me. Let me tell you about Thomas Gren.o.ble. I made the servants talk ... my servants to his servants. It was so easy. I made them tell him of my strangeness, my spells, the manner in which I was born. I wanted him to think that the servants were afraid of me, that I never went to church because I feared to. That strange things happened, that I could whip up a storm at sea, that I could make a man see me as the most beautiful creature he had ever seen ... and he believed them. So that is why he went so suddenly to London. He is putting as great a distance between us as he can.”

”You did not do this, Senara.”

”I did. I did. I knew they would force me to marry him if he made an offer. And he was on the point of it. He was besottedly in love with me. But his fear of being involved with witchcraft was greater than his love. People are becoming more and more afraid of it, Tamsyn. It's a growing cult. And the more people fear it, the more they discover it. I am free of Thomas Gren.o.ble.”

I did not entirely believe her. I thought she was piqued because he had gone away.

I accused her of this and she laughed at me.

”His love could not have been very strong,” I said, ”if he could so quickly forget it.”

”You should comfort me, Tamsyn. Have we not both lost a lover?”

As I walked away I heard her shrill laughter. And I thought: She is right. I have been foolish to hope for Fenn. I misunderstood his friends.h.i.+p. But if he is a friend why does he stay away?

A little later I saw Senara riding away from the castle.

I thought: She is going to Leyden Hall. She is going to see d.i.c.kon.

I remembered then how she had adored him when she was younger and how they had danced and sung together.

Could it really be that she loved d.i.c.kon?

Was it really true that she had rid herself of Thomas Gren.o.ble in this way?

One could never be sure with Senara. If she loved d.i.c.kon she was heading for sorrow, for she would never be allowed to marry him.

And for myself, I knew I could never love anyone but Fenn Landor.

Senara and I, I thought, we shall have to comfort each other.

March came in like a lion, as they say. The winds were violent and the salt spray dashed itself against the castle walls. The waves were so high that it was dangerous to walk on the sea side of the castle. One could easily have been caught and washed away.

One evening, when a storm was rising, I had an uneasy conviction that the lantern was not alight. There were occasions when it went out but in such weather special attention was supposed to be given to it.

I climbed to the tower carrying a taper with me and sure enough that rea.s.suring glow was not there and the turret rooms were in darkness.

I thought of going to the Seaward Tower to tell them that someone had forgotten to light the lanterns in Nonna's. Then I thought it was quite a simple matter to light them myself. I could comfortably reach them with the step-ladder. I lighted them and in a few minutes they were throwing their rea.s.suring beam of light out across the sea.

I went down to my bedchamber. Senara was there lying on her pallet with dreams in her eyes.

I was about to mention the lanterns when she said: ”They will be going away soon.”

”Who?” I asked.

”The puritans. They want to wors.h.i.+p in freedom and they say the only place where they can do so is in Holland.”

”Will d.i.c.kon go with them?”

”Yes,” she said.

”You will miss him.”

She did not answer. I had rarely seen her so subdued.

Then she started to talk about the puritans. They were brave people; they hated finery and gaiety and everything that seemed to make life interesting to her. Yet she could not but admire them. They were people who would die for their beliefs. ”Imagine that, Tamsyn. It's n.o.ble in its way.” She laughed suddenly. ”d.i.c.kon is greatly tempted. I can see that. He wants to be a puritan and his whole being cries out against it. As mine would. It is a continual battle for him. Battles are exciting. You want everything to be peaceful. You always did. It's not that you lack spirit, but you're not an adventurer, Tamsyn. You're the mother figure, there to love and protect. I'm not like that. I'm the mistress ... to tempt, to snare and to be unpredictable.”

”You are certainly that,” I retorted. ”Why do you visit these puritans? I know why. It is because it is dangerous. There are going to be harsher rules against them. They are going to be persecuted. Perhaps people will always want to fight again and kill those who disagree with them. The Catholics on the one hand; the puritans on the other; and they are both supposed to be enemies to the Church!”

”The King hates them. Puritans, witches and Catholics who attempt to blow up his parliament! The King is a strange man. They say he is very clever and that he is renowned for his wit. He loves pleasure as much as the puritans hate it. Thomas Gren.o.ble told me that he spends much time at the c.o.c.k-fight and pays his master of c.o.c.ks two hundred pounds a year, which is equal to the salary of his secretaries of state. He is a coward too! His garments are padded to preserve him against the a.s.sa.s.sin's knife. He is terrified of being a.s.sa.s.sinated. They talk of these matters at Leyden Hall and they plan to escape from them. It is not that they are running away exactly ... They are brave men and women, for they will face fearful hazards. They care nothing for this. They make wonderful plans. They do not intend to stay in Holland.”

Her eyes were brilliant. I could see that she was following them in her thoughts; she was facing the hazards, and I knew that all the time she was seeing herself side by side with d.i.c.kon.

”It is some years since Sir Walter Raleigh found a fair land which he called after Queen Elizabeth-Virginia. It lies a long way across the ocean. They talk of Virginia.”

”It was a colony,” I said, ”and is now abandoned.”

”It is a rich land of fruits and plants and trees. Perhaps it will be there that they will settle. They will build a new country where men shall be free to follow their religion.”

”Providing,” I added, ”it does not conflict with that laid down by the puritans.”

Senara looked at me seriously for a few minutes and then she burst out laughing.

”Oh, it is not for the religion, Tamsyn. It's not whether we shall genuflect twenty times a day or make our knees sore by kneeling on a stone floor. What do I care for that! It's the adventure. It's glorious. To set out like that ... not knowing whether you were going to die on the way. The dangers one would face. That's what I care about.”

That, I thought, and d.i.c.kon. I was very uneasy wondering what would become of her when d.i.c.kon went away.

The next day the violent storm of the previous night had abated. Two things happened. There was a whipping in the Seaward courtyard.