Part 19 (1/2)

”No,” she said without looking. Her complete unwillingness to even play along reminded me of how long she'd been parenting. ”So you've finished filming, right? Pretty soon I'll be able to watch the whole thing and not just whatever gets pa.s.sed along to the media?”

”Right,” I said. The warmth from the cup reached into my fingers, which retained a chill from the damp summer morning. August marched onward and that morning had dipped one tiptoe into cool fall temperatures. ”We have some publicity things still on our contracts, but we're getting close to the debut episode.”

”Ooh,” she said, eyes sparkling. ”Sounds like a party. Should I host one here? Can I have the star in our midst?” Her voice was inching up in excitement.

I frowned. ”I wish. They're having a party at Thrill. I have to be there. But after that, we can watch the show every week together.” I winced. ”Or not. I'm not looking forward to seeing myself on screen.”

Polly had gotten onto all fours and was rocking back and forth in a kind of burlesque-meets-downward-facing-dog.

”Are you still feeling like you did the right thing?” Manda studied my face.

”What, with the show? Yes. Definitely.” I nodded. ”I haven't decided about a second season, but I know this season has been great exposure, great for branding.”

”Branding.” Manda said the word as a statement, but I knew what she was asking.

”You know, marketing. Making my face a household image, building an audience. That kind of thing.” I stopped, hearing a lot of Vic and Margot in my words and not much Charlie. ”Anyway, I've worked a long time to get here and it's nice to see things finally taking off.”

”What about Kai?” Manda tucked her feet under her as she adjusted in her chair. ”And no, he's not home.”

As if I were going to ask that again. ”He never called back,” I said, shrugging back into my victim's stance. ”I never even got to explain myself and prove I wasn't guilty of anything. I've decided we were just wrong for each other.”

Manda said nothing, her posture waiting for me to explain.

I sighed. ”Manda, Kai is great. He is. But I'm going through a time in my life when I need to focus all my attention on work. And if he can't handle that, well ...”

She nodded slowly. ”I see. That was a horrid little speech and totally canned. Try again and this time tell me the truth.”

I opened my mouth, locked and ready for reload, but Zara's voice interrupted.

”Mooooommmm!” she called, sounding more frantic than before. ”Dane is eating a Sharpie!”

”A Sharpie!” Manda scooped up Polly. ”Sharpies are permanent! How on earth did he get a Sharpie? If he got it on the walls or the floors ...”

Her footsteps on the stairs were receding down the upstairs hall when I heard a cheerful knock at the door.

I leaned toward the window and fell out of one of Manda's kitchen chairs. ”s.h.i.+t, s.h.i.+t, s.h.i.+t, s.h.i.+t.” I was muttering and crawling over to hide behind the couch, but the Henricks had a door with a mammoth gla.s.s cutout so Kai could easily see me crouching behind the furniture. I managed a weak smile and tried to look nonchalant as I walked to the door.

”Hey,” I said, trying for breezy. ”How's it going, Kai?”

He c.o.c.ked his head to one side and narrowed his eyes. ”Been better. You?”

I shrugged. ”Not bad, not bad. How can I help you?” I sounded like the Target cas.h.i.+er.

He ran a hand through his already tousled hair. His eyes were annoyingly bright and beautiful. I found myself wis.h.i.+ng he would look at me like he had the day we spent at Forsythia Farms.

Holding out a piece of notebook paper, he gestured for me to take it. ”This is the neighborhood sign-up sheet for the block party next month. I came home to grab some things for Howie's and remembered I was supposed to pa.s.s it along to Jack and Manda last night.”

I took the page from him and studied it like I really cared about bringing a side dish, salad, or dessert.

Kai cleared his throat. I looked up from where I was reading the words broccoli and raisin salad over and over.

”Listen,” he said, voice lowered. ”Charlie. I'm sorry I haven't called you back.” I noticed a day's worth of whiskers cropping up on his jaw and chin and wanted desperately to feel their rough texture on my cheek.

”I understand,” I said, hating that I sounded so clinical. ”I can see how you were upset. It has to be hard dating someone who is a part of a publicity machine.” I laughed, but my heart was hammering out a primal rhythm in my chest.

”It was,” he said, looking more relaxed. ”Really weird, to tell you the truth.”

I nodded.

He nodded.

I willed him to move closer, thinking if he'd just take one small step, I could close the distance and kiss his whiskered cheeks and full bottom lip and we could start over.

But he moved in the opposite direction, taking a step back toward the front door. ”Well, it's good to see you. I'm glad we could resolve things, you know, since we'll probably run into each other around here every now and then.”

I swallowed hard and pulled my mouth into a wide smile. ”Totally. Good to be on the same page.”

”Exactly.” His eyes lingered on mine, his right hand paused on the door k.n.o.b.

Manda came clambering down the stairs at an unsteady gait. She held Polly in one hand and gripped Dane's fingers in the other. A long and spindly Sharpie mustache curled over his mouth, one curlicue arching all the way to his earlobe.

Manda's cloudy expression lifted instantly when she glimpsed Kai in her foyer.

”Kai! How delightful to see you! We were just talking about you.” As soon as the words rang into the s.p.a.ce we shared, Manda clamped her mouth shut.

”Is that right?” Kai's mouth pulled into a half-smile. ”Then I wish I would have shown up a few minutes earlier.” He looked at me again, but not for long. ”I was just stopping by with the sign-up for the block party. Charlie has it.”

Never one to miss a cue, I waved the sheet in the air like a banner. Manda raised her eyebrows at my enthusiasm. I stopped waving.

”You ladies enjoy your day. The weather should make it easy.” Kai opened the door and stepped onto the porch.

”Yes, it's beautiful out! Feels like fall!” I couldn't stop myself! The exclamation points! The fake smile! The seasonal update!

Manda waved to Kai while I stayed rooted to my spot in the middle of the entryway. Dane tried to squirm out of Manda's vise grip but to no avail.

”You are sitting with me for a while, mister,” she said, pulling her entire entourage to the family room. She called over her shoulder, ”Char? You okay?”

I groaned long and loudly. Dane giggled and said, ”Auntie Char cweepy.”

”We resorted to the weather,” I said. My shoulders sagged as I padded toward Manda and the kids.

”That bad, huh?” Manda looked at me with compa.s.sion while maintaining an impressive hold on her son's wiggling torso. ”What did you feel?”

I shook my head, trying to filter out the topmost emotions. ”I felt sad. And nervous. And like I wished we could back the truck up a few days.” I frowned at her. ”I don't like feeling like I'm not in control. And that man makes me feel like I'm spiraling in a fixed point away from control.”

She bit her lower lip to contain the smile. ”G.o.d forbid you relinquish control.”