Part 28 (1/2)
”Yeah, I can see how that happened.”
”You know, since we're talking about things we've been thinking about, I've been going to another group.”
”Really? How do you have time?”
”It's not hard. It's actually easy to find time to do things that really matter.”
”Sounds serious.”
”Yeah, I suppose it is. It's a group for people who've had a cheating lover.”
Regan snorted a laugh. ”I bet it's not hard to fill up a room.”
Joining in her laugh, Callie said, ”Not hard at all. It's been really good, to be honest. It's led by someone getting her Ph.D. in psych at Harvard and everyone in the group wants to learn something. Know what I mean?”
”I guess so. Do you mean they're serious about it?”
”More than that. They're kinda fearless. We're all encouraged to point out things that people might not realize. Hearing things from people who aren't involved has been really helpful.”
”What's been helpful for you?”
”There's a woman in the group who annoys me. She's perceptive, but kinda b.i.t.c.hy.”
”You don't like b.i.t.c.hy.”
Callie chuckled. ”No, I really don't. But she pointed out something I needed to hear. She said she thought I tended to keep going when things were bad... even when I should stop and rea.s.sess.”
”Like how?”
”I was talking about how hard it was for me after Rob and I broke up, and she said it sounded like I told myself that people would cheat, so I might as well find someone who was really good at cheating.” She laughed, but it sounded sad. Regan snuck a quick look at her and saw the downcast look.
Gently, she said, ”Do you think that's true?”
”Yeah. I do. I should have spent a long time licking my wounds. But I tried to brush it off and keep going. The rules had changed: fidelity wasn't going to happen, so I had to take what I could get and be happy with it.”
”Wow. That's exactly what happened, isn't it.”
”Yeah. She had a very good point.”
”It must have been really hard for you to have Marina cheat. Especially since you hooked up with her just to avoid that.”
”Yeah, it sucked, but it wasn't the same.” Callie sounded strangely lighthearted.
”Why?”
”It should be obvious. I loved Rob. I would have happily married him and had kids. I wouldn't have bought a big block of cheese with Marina. I didn't do any long-term planning with her. None at all.”
Regan shot a look at her. ”But you loved her. You were planning on being together forever, right?”
”Forever?” Callie spit out a laugh. ”G.o.d no. In my therapy group we have to try to be honest about the past. Not my favorite thing. But I've done it. Last week I admitted that I hooked up with Marina for two reasons: one, to get out of Phoenix and two, to see how I liked being with a woman.”
”That's it?” Regan's voice broke.
”Yeah. That's pretty much it. Being with her was like having someone you had no-strings-attached s.e.x with. I wanted to love her, and I set things up so I could, but I also had a very convenient escape hatch.”
Regan's head spun. Now some things made sense. Like why Callie hadn't been devastated by the breakup. She'd antic.i.p.ated it. ”That sounds like a good group. What else have you learned?”
”I've learned that I know what I want in a partner, and I'm not going to take something that isn't right just to keep going.”
It would have been a great time to make an overture. But it was terrifying. Too terrifying. Regan could only manage to nod her head at Callie's comments and hope she got another opportunity.
Chapter Twenty-five.
They stopped in front of a large, tall house, s.h.i.+ngled in an attractive warm brown.
”Is this where we're staying?” The excitement in Callie's voice made the expense worth every dime. The inn belonged on an ad for the glories of Maine. It was old, but shone like it had been lovingly buffed.
”Yep. Looks good, doesn't it?”
”It looks awesome! Let's go.”
A few minutes later Regan opened the door to their room. Sun spilled out of the room, and they had to s.h.i.+eld their eyes to let them adjust from the darkness of the hallway. The place was gorgeous, beyond what she'd hoped for, and the room was expensive, much more than she'd ever paid for a hotel, but she wanted a place they'd always remember-one way or another.
The room had a large footprint, with a sloping ceiling where the roof dipped gracefully. A turret-style window looked out on the bay, and a pair of upholstered chairs flanked a large telescope on a wooden stand. The chairs were at the precise height to use the telescope to watch boats or birds or who knew what else might capture your attention.
The room was decorated only in white, and contained virtually no knick-knacks. But the wide-plank maple floors and the big windows made the s.p.a.ce seem warm and open, yet still cozy.
Callie fell back onto the bed with her arms spread out. ”This is the nicest bed in the nicest room I've ever been in.” She rolled onto her belly, stretching like a cat. ”Even though there are a hundred things I want to do, I feel like taking a nap.”
Regan sat down next to her. ”That's probably because you've eaten three times already. Your poor stomach doesn't know what hit it.”
”I couldn't let you drive past a lobster shack with a long line, could I?”
”The place wasn't open,” Regan said, looking at her fondly. ”It wasn't eleven yet.”
”I'm glad we stopped. That lobster roll was an A plus.” She slipped out of her coat. ”I'm slow and sleepy. I think I've gotta catch a quick nap.”
”Have at it.”
She started taking off her boots. ”What will you do?”
”I might join you.” Regan started to remove her own boots. ”I like to be lazy on vacation. There's something decadent about staying in a nice place and lying in bed looking at the view.”
Callie pulled her sweater off and took a T-s.h.i.+rt from her bag. Then she tossed it back in and took out a kelly green t-s.h.i.+rt and a pair of flannel pajama bottoms, pale yellow with images of pies, cakes and sundaes covering them. ”Might as well do it right.” She walked into the bathroom with her pajamas and her toiletries, leaving Regan to gaze out at the water, considering her plans for the afternoon.
After a few minutes Callie came barreling out of the bathroom and jumped onto the bed. ”Perfect!” she proclaimed, the bed still shaking from her a.s.sault.