Part 4 (1/2)

LXVIII.--A DIALOGUE.

_Pope._

SINCE my old friend is grown so great, As to be minister of state, I'm told (but 'tis not true I hope) That Craggs will be ashamed of Pope.

_Craggs._

ALAS! if I am such a creature, To grow the worse for growing greater, Why, faith, in spite of all my brags, 'Tis Pope must be ashamed of Craggs.

LXIX.--BEAR AND VAN.

THE facetious Mr. Bearcroft told his friend Mr. Vansittart, ”Your name is such a long one, I shall drop the _sittart_, and call you _Van_ for the future.”--”With all my heart,” said he: ”by the same rule, I shall drop _croft_, and call you _Bear_!”

LXX.--EPITAPH FOR SIR JOHN VANBRUGH.

LIE heavy on him, Earth! for he Laid many heavy loads on thee!

LXXI.--PROVING THEIR METAL.

WHEN the Prince of Orange, afterwards William the Third, came over to this country, five of the seven bishops who were sent to the Tower declared for his highness; but the other two would not come into the measures. Upon which Dryden said, that ”the seven golden candlesticks them proved _prince's metal_.”

LXXII.--A DISTANT PROSPECT.

THROUGH an avenue of trees, at the back of Trinity College, a church may be seen at a considerable distance, the approach to which affords no very pleasing scenery. Porson, walking that way with a friend, and observing the church, remarked, ”That it put him in mind of a _fellows.h.i.+p_, which was a long dreary walk, with a church _at the end of it_.”

LXXIII.--SOUND SLEEPER.

A MAN meeting his friend, said, ”I spoke to you last night in a dream.”--”Pardon me,” replied the other, ”I did not _hear you_.”

LXXIV.--A CHEAP CURE.

”PRAY, Mr. Abernethy, what is the cure for gout?” asked an indolent and luxurious citizen. ”Live upon sixpence a day, and _earn it_!” was the pithy answer.

LXXV.--EPIGRAM.

YOU say, without reward or fee, Your uncle cur'd me of a dang'rous ill; I say he never did prescribe for me, The proof is plain,--_I'm living still_.

LXXVI.--A GRAMMATICAL DISTINCTION.

SEVERAL young gentlemen once got up a play at Cambridge. On the day of representation one of the performers took it into his head to make an excuse, and his part was obliged to be read. Hobhouse came forward to apologize to the audience, and told them that _a_ Mr. ---- had declined to perform his part. The gentleman was highly indignant at the ”_a_,”

and had a great inclination to pick a quarrel with Scrope Davies, who replied that he supposed Mr. ---- wanted to be called _the_ Mr.