Part 14 (1/2)

”ITS OKAY IF YOU CANT MAKE IT today. You need to rest if youre still not feeling well.” Gages hand trailed down my back.

I met his eyes in the mirror before pulling the toothbrush from my mouth and spitting into the sink. Did he hear me get sick this morning? I had tried to cover it with the water from the shower.

I rinsed with mouthwash and spit again, then rose back up to look at him. ”I want to go. Im all right.”

A frown pulled at his lips and he crossed his arms, watching me. There were questions in his eyes, and I braced myself, knowing I couldnt lie if he asked direct.

”Youre going to the doctors this morning?” His mind was working, and I prayed he wouldnt piece the clues together just yet. Not until I had a chance to piece together the ones surrounding him.

I nodded, leaning on the counter behind me.

”Good, maybe they can check you out and get you medicine. You should get the flu shot while youre there.”

The corner of my mouth lifted. ”Its not that type of doctors.”

”What, woman dont get sick? Woman doctors should cover this stuff, too.” His lips curled in a smile as he stepped close and kissed my forehead. ”Go to one of those walk in places after if your doctors cant help. Its going on three days now, you need to make sure youre okay, especially with your fight coming up. Im sure your coach agrees with me.”

”All right.”

He puffed a laugh. ”Agreeable today.” He pressed his palm to my forehead and cheeks. ”Maybe youre sicker than I thought.”

I smacked away his touch, trying to step away. ”Shut up. I can be agreeable when you make sense.”

”Hmm.” He pulled me back to him by my hip. ”I like when you get rough with me.” His voice was deep and raspy, but a thread of teasing ran through it.

I laughed as I turned into him. ”What is with you this morning? Maybe youre the one coming down with something.” I liked this lighter, happier side of Gage, but it made it even harder to speak up. I didnt want to be the one to take it away.

”Everything.” He shook his head, arms wrapping around my waist, voice dropping. ”Its you. Spending the evening with you last night, even just lying together.” His hands slid up my back. ”I needed that. I feel recharged, better than ever.” He kissed along my forehead, lips spreading to a smile. ”I feel like I could go take over the world.”

The words circled my heart, warming me, but my secret had a tighter hold, strangling me. I pulled away, trying to keep the teasing tone. ”That wasnt me. That was sleep. You havent been getting enough.”

He had taken off yesterday to spend the evening with me at home, sabotaging my plans of going to the club with him. But I used not feeling well as an excuse to just lie in bed watching movies, barely talking. I couldnt talk, everything I said felt like a lie, a missed opportunity to admit the truth. I was a hypocrite and it was eating at me. After today, I would tell him. I had to. But that made me more nauseous than the lie.

His fingers lifted my chin, making me look at him, all humor gone. ”No, it wasnt. Its you. Youre the best thing in my life, and I need you. Dont doubt that.”

I nodded, shaky as emotion choked me.

He pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. ”Now go to the doctors, and then come home and rest so you can get better. Ill pick you up later to look at s.p.a.ces. Were meeting the realtor at three oclock.”

I nodded again and he smiled.

”I like this agreeable Regan. Can we keep her?”

I shoved him away and went to get dressed. His laughter followed me.

The doctor sat in her chair, rolling in it till she was in front of me. Her silence was freezing, even if her eyes were warm. In fact, those eyes cut the most.

”Regan, you were late scheduling this shot, but you knew that, didnt you?”

I nodded, voice not working.

The corners of her mouth lifted to a tentative smile. ”Your urine sample came back with high levels of HCG. Typically a sign of pregnancy.”

”Typically, so I may not be?” I didnt allow myself to hope one way or the other till she answered.

”Well, no. You more than likely are. Theres other things that can cause those numbers, but thats not likely. I was just trying to ease you into the news.” She shrugged one shoulder with a light, nervous laugh.

I closed my eyes and dropped my head, letting it all sink in. Now someone else knew, it wasnt just my secret and that made it real.

”Can you lie back so I can check you out real quick.” Her voice was so soft and gentle. Shed probably make a good mom. She probably was a good mom.

I wasnt even a good person. How could I be a good mom? I wouldnt. I couldnt. Not when I couldnt even take care of myself enough to keep from getting pregnant.

Her gloved hands pressed low on my stomach. She folded back the top of my pants to press even lower. I watched as she moved her hands to the side where my jagged, silvery pink scar was from Damiens blade.

”Does this hurt?” She questioned, voice level.

I shook my head, still numb.

She unfolded the band of my pants and pulled my s.h.i.+rt back down. ”All done.” She extended her hand to mine to help me sit up.

Rolling on her chair, she glided to where a computer was in the corner and clicked on the keys till my name was at the top of the screen, all my information under it. She used the mouse to scroll down and then typed some things in.

”When was your last period?” She asked, sliding her gla.s.ses down to look at me.

I shrugged. ”A couple months ago.”

She glanced at the screen. ”Oh right, youve been getting the depo shot, so those things are hard to go by. Well lets see...” She clicked over a couple of tabs, nodding as she read. ”Oh good its open. Come with me, Regan.”

I dropped off the table, legs shaky, stomach spinning, and heart faltering. Every step made this more real.

We walked into the hall and she approached a nurse at a large desk. ”I need a gown for Mrs. Lawson here. Can you get her one, and show her to room 203.”

The nurse reached to the side of the table and grabbed a package. Then she came around the desk to me.

”Rachel will take you to the room. Ill be there in one moment.” She raised her eyebrows at me like this was something to look forward to.

I followed Rachel to a room down the hall. She flipped on the lights, illuminating machines with screens and an exam table in the center, set up like a reclining chair.