Part 37 (2/2)

We both pulled our hoods up as we stepped out of the doorway of the club into the chilling wind blowing dark clouds in.

”Did you park on Connecticut?” He ducked his head against a gust and I nodded, mute.

We walked in silence; cutting through warehouse parking lots and side alleys to get to the car.

”Ill drive.” He reached his hand out for the keys, his gloves no longer on.

I handed them over, not wanting to drive. My world was spinning, and nothing seemed real.

The moment I sat in the pa.s.senger seat, I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temple, trying to block out all my senses, needing all my energy to process and make sense of everything. But I couldnt. Not on my own.

”Why did you do it?” I asked Gage with a cracked voice. My throat like sandpaper.

He flashed his eyes to me, pulling off the curb we were parked on. ”Because I had to.”

”Why didnt you tell me?” I pressed when it was clear he wasnt saying anymore.

”Tell you what?” He was close to shouting, voice sharp. ”You honestly think I knew that was going to f.u.c.king happen?” He stopped in the middle of the empty street, throwing the s.h.i.+ft into park and twisting in his seat to face me in one forceful movement. ”That I sent you in there alone to tell him s.h.i.+t just so I could kill him?”

Yes. I did. And the fire in his eyes didnt look like he was sorry about any of it. He looked wild. Dangerous. Someone who would take whatever they wanted no matter who they hurt, including me.

I leaned away as he came at me, but I couldnt move quick enough. He gripped my shoulders, leaning into my s.p.a.ce.

”Think. Think for a moment. Why would I do that?” His eyes bounced over me, and his grip relaxed on my arms. He softened and deflated as he exhaled, and his hands slid over my shoulders and arms. ”Babe, youve got to trust me.”

I pushed off his touch. ”No, I dont. Not when you do things like this. You killed him.”

His hands had hung in the air between us, but he curled them into fists now and pulled them back to his body. His muscles went rigid and jaw flexed under his skin. ”Was I supposed to let him shoot me first? You saw that. He was going for his gun, his partner already had his gun out and on me.”

The truth in his words cracked my anger a little, I wanted to reach through and believe in him.

”But you came in there with your gun up.”

”I saw that other guy sneak into the back, so I came through the front. But he had you cornered, and his hand kept f.u.c.king going to his pocket. I wasnt taking any chances.” He ran his hand over his head, knocking off his hood and tugging at the ends of his hair. ”It was them or us. And they might have f.u.c.king screwed us already.” He looked around the car, chest rising and falling as something built in him. A storm, the flash in his eyes was a warning. He directed it at me, his energy blowing down my defenses. ”Why cant you see it? I did this for you. For us. All of this. Everything Ive done since Ive got you back has been for you. And now this f.u.c.king plan has blown up, and I need you to-I just need you.”

He broke first. His head dropped, and his hands reached for me, one grabbing my hand, the other my leg. ”I need to know youre here with me and not going to run.” His breathing strained, the tension in the air making it hard. The dark despair in his eyes stole my heart. ”But I can see it in you. Youre going to jump the second I turn my back.”

I shook my head, but I couldnt deny what he said. ”I just dont understand what happened. Make me understand,” it was more of a demand than a request.

”How can I, when Im not sure either?” But he was speaking calmer now, and that helped to calm me. He watched his hand move absently on my leg. ”I was walking up on the club like we discussed, but you werent out there.” The lines on his hand strained slightly, and I knew that had been my first mistake, even if he didnt say it out loud. ”I saw that guy slip into the back though, so I went to the front. I still have the keys for the place and was able to let myself in. I could hear you two talking, and he sounded angry, but when I saw he had you cornered, plus knowing he had some other a.s.shole in the place, I had to put an end to it.”

There was a strong thread of anger to his words, but he was trying to keep calm. His muscles strained, but his touch stayed soft on me. ”Even then, I wasnt planning on killing him. I wanted to question him and find out what the h.e.l.l he was doing. I pulled my gun because he reached for something in his pocket. It was his phone so I took it. But its like I said before, we have to be prepared for anything, and when I pulled him to the other room and that guy put a gun to my head, I reacted.” He paused a moment before continuing, trying to read my reaction, but I had none. Not yet. ”It worked for our benefit that they both pulled their guns. I used Anthonys to shoot his partner and pulled him in the line of that guys bullet before it could hit me. Only thing is, now we cant ask them questions.”

I let his story sink in and shaped my thoughts around it, wis.h.i.+ng I hadnt been so quick to accuse him. But I couldnt stop being skeptical.

”What about Viktor, did you know he was with the FBI?”

”What?” He flinched back a little. ”Viktors FBI? Thats not right. Hes some political lawyer or something, not FBI.”

I shook my head. ”Anthony said he was head council of the task force.”

He sat back in the drivers seat and pulled out his phone, frowning at the screen. ”I dont know, but well figure it out. Theres a lot we need to figure out right now. Lets get home, okay?” He set his phone on the console and s.h.i.+fted the car to drive.

Text messages popped up on the screen from different numbers. He kept glancing to it, and so did I.

Tonight.

10.

Subs I grabbed his hand before he could pick up the phone. ”What does it mean?”

Another text vibrated his phone, and I removed my hand to read it.

Only You We both looked at each other then.

”It means, we need to come up with a new plan f.u.c.king quick.” He stepped on the gas, forcing the car back to our condo as fast as possible.

38: Against Everything.

I SAT ON THE EDGE OF OUR bed, my thoughts weighing me down, unsure if I was feeling everything too much or nothing at all. Every inch of skin tingled with nerves running through me like a current, but my heart wasnt present, knocked out and empty.

Gage pulled his s.h.i.+rt over his head and tossed it to our bedroom floor.

”We need to shower before we do anything. Come on.” His light eyes looked dark as he stretched his arm out to me. He was so close, I only had to lift my hand to place mine in his, but I didnt move.

His chest rose and fell a few times as he waited on me, and he looked like the same dangerously s.e.xy man I fell in love with. It made me breathless to think about the truth of that danger, and that I had wanted it. I had wanted him. We may be able to wash off the blood, but it would still be there.

”Regan,” his voice was low as he stepped towards me.

I pulled back, not from him but from any contact. Even the idea of water from a shower touching me was too much. I was struggling to hold it together, and the slightest touch would shatter that.

He jerked back, soft voice turned sharp. ”Youre still mad at me? About him?”

I dropped my eyes to the floor. Him, Anthony. I wasnt sure how I felt about him now. I wanted to be angry. It was easier than being sad. But I wasnt sure who to be angry with. Probably Anthony himself.

”No,” I spoke without emotion and closed my eyes. ”Im just trying to think. Go get your shower.”

His sigh was heavy, but I didnt dare look up and meet his gaze. I knew the weight of the look that went with that sound.

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