Part 19 (1/2)

Her heart had already been broken, so at least there wasn't anything left to break.

Twelve.

Mitch.e.l.l stood in front of Deanna's closed door and heard her crying on the other side.

She was trying to stifle it-that much was obvious-but she wasn't successful.

It was brutal-the twisting of his heart, over and over again. First because she wanted to end the marriage. Then because she was so open and blunt about not wanting the man he really was. And now because he'd obviously hurt her in his natural instinct to be mean as a way of holding himself together and protecting the last shreds of his heart.

He could stand the battering of his own self, but he simply couldn't stand for it to happen to Deanna. So, instead of turning around and going to his room to take a shower and pull himself together, he pounded on the door again.

”Mitch.e.l.l, please just go away!” she wailed, choking on more sobs.

He swung the door open and saw that she'd collapsed in a heap on her bed. He strode over, pulling her up and into his arms. She kept sobbing against him, even though he was soaked with sweat and had just treated her so cruelly.

”I'm sorry,” he murmured. ”Deanna, please don't cry. I'm sorry.”

”I'm...sorry too.” She clung to him, and he held her as tightly as he could, as if all of the aching need in his soul was channeled into this one grip. ”I'm so sorry, Mitch.e.l.l. I didn't mean to hurt you.”

”I hurt you too. I never wanted to do that.”

She cried for a little longer, but then she finally started to calm down. That meant he should release his hold on her, but he simply didn't want to.

This might be the only way he was allowed to touch Deanna now, and he didn't want it to end.

She sniffed and cleared her throat and finally pulled away. He had no choice but to release her.

”You're all sweaty,” she said with a teasing little smile that unclenched his heart.

”I just ran about seven miles.”

”It's stupid to run that far in the middle of the night.”

”I sometimes do stupid things.”

”So do I.”

They gave each other sheepish looks until Deanna's expression relaxed into a full smile. ”We've made a real mess of this whole thing.”

He sighed. ”I know. I don't know what to do about it.”

”Well...” She took a deep breath, obviously thinking hard. ”Well, we've got two more months, so maybe we should just try to be...be friends. I don't want to lose you, Mitch.e.l.l, and I don't want to hurt you again.”

”Me either,” he admitted, although his chest was still twisting because she obviously didn't want from him what he wanted from her.

But still...this would be better than nothing. And there was no reason to a.s.sume her feelings for him would never change.

They had attraction and understanding and shared humor and camaraderie.

Maybe, if she grew to trust him, they could have love too.

He wanted it now. All of it-all of her-right now. He felt like he'd been waiting forever for her, and he didn't want to wait anymore.

But Brie was right. Deanna cared about him a lot, yet she believed he would never do the hard thing.

She was wrong, though. Maybe he'd been like that before, but that was because there hadn't been anything he wanted enough to work for.

He wanted Deanna that much. He would do anything he needed to do-work as hard as he had to work, wait as long as he had to wait-in order to get her at last.

”Mitch.e.l.l?” Deanna asked softly, after he was silent for too long. ”Is that...is that all right?”

He nodded, reaching over and putting a hand over hers, resisting the urge to touch her any more than that. ”Yes. It's all right.”

”So you're not going back to London?” Deanna asked her sister, as they were sitting in her grandmother's parlour a couple of weeks later.

”No.” Rose's flashed a little dimple over her sip of iced tea, a sure sign that she was feeling self-conscious about something. ”Jill, Julie, and Mr. Harwood are coming back to Savannah next week anyway, so he said there wasn't any need for me to fly all the way back. He said he could manage.”

Kelly had been puttering with an old mantle clock, which hadn't worked in years. She was determined to one day get it fixed, and kept returning to work on the mechanism when she had nothing else to do. ”How long have you been working for the Harwoods, Rose?”

Rose looked surprised. ”For two years. You know that.”

”And he still expects you to call him Mr. Harwood?”

”He's never said anything, but it would hardly be appropriate for me to go around calling him James. He's my employer. Not my friend.”

”Still, I'd think you'd have gotten to know each other well enough. What does he call you?”

”Rose.” She stared down at her gla.s.s. ”Rosie, actually.”

Deanna almost choked on her sip. ”Rosie? No one calls you Rosie. How does he get away with that?”

With a slight flush of her cheeks, Rose admitted, ”Well, honestly, I think he just got my name wrong initially, and then he'd called me Rosie for so long, he couldn't change it to my real name.”

”Maybe you don't want him to change it,” Kelly teased, giving her sister a wry look over her gla.s.ses.

Rose narrowed her eyes. ”Don't be ridiculous. He's my boss. Besides, he's engaged anyway.”

”What?” Deanna straightened up. James Harwood's wife had died two and a half years ago, shortly before he hired Rose. ”He's engaged? When did this happen?”

”A few weeks ago. But the wedding is not until next year.”

”Is he still going to want a nanny for Jill and Julie after he gets married?”

Rose gave a little shrug. ”He said he would. I guess it depends on what his fiancee thinks, but I've met her and I don't really think...” She cleared her throat delicately. ”She's not exactly the maternal kind. I think she'll want to keep a nanny, if only so she doesn't have to bother with the girls.”