Part 55 (1/2)
”Why? Because he cannot marry her?”
”Yes.”
”If you ever fell in love with me--would you wish to marry me?”
”If I ever did,” he said, ”I'd go through h.e.l.l to marry you.”
She considered him, curiously, as though trying to realise something inconceivable.
”I do not think of you that way,” she said. ”I do not think of you sentimentally at all.... Only that I care for you--deeply. I don't believe it's in me to love. I mean--as the world defines love.... So don't fall in love with me, Clive.... But, if you ever do, tell me.”
”Why?” he asked unsteadily.
”Because you ought to tell me. I should not wish to die and never know it.”
”Would you care?”
”Care? Do you ask a girl whether she could remain unmoved, uninterested, indifferent, if the man she cares for most falls in love with her?”
”Could you--respond?”
”Respond? With love? I don't know. How can I tell? I believe that I have never been in love in all my life. I don't know what it feels like. You might as well ask somebody born blind to read an ordinary book.... But one thing is certain: if that ever happens to you, you ought to tell me. Will you?”
”What good would it do?”
”What harm would it do?” she asked frankly.
”Suppose, knowing we could not marry, I made love to you, Athalie?”
Suddenly the smile flashed in her eyes: ”Do you think I'm a baby, Clive? Suppose, knowing what we know, you did make love to me? Is that very dreadful?”
”My responsibility would be.”
”The responsibility is mine. I'm my own mistress. If I chose to be yours the responsibility is mine--”
”Don't say such things, Athalie!”
”Why not? Such things happen--or they don't happen. I have no idea they're likely to happen to us.... I'm not a bit alarmed, Clive....
Perhaps it's the courage of ignorance--” She glanced at him again with the same curious, questioning look in her eyes,--”Perhaps because I cannot comprehend any such temptation.... And never could....
Nevertheless if you fall in love with me, tell me. I would not wish you to remain dumb. You have a right to speak. Love isn't a question of conditions or of convenience. You ought to have your chance.”
”Chance!”
”Certainly.”
”What chance?”
”To win me.”
”Win you!--when I can't marry you--”