Part 18 (2/2)

Well, it all depends on 'ow yer _put_ a question o' that sort.

[_He is silent for the remainder of the journey._

A CHATTY Pa.s.sENGER (_to a CONTRADICTIOUS Pa.s.sENGER, as the 'bus pa.s.ses Trafalgar Square_). Pretty these 'ere fountains look, with the water playin', don't they?

The CONTRADICIOUS Pa.s.sENGER. The fountings are well enough, if it wasn't fur the water--norsty messy stuff, I call it.

The CHATTY P. (_abandoning the fountains_). It's wonderful what an amount o' traffic there is in the Strand, ain't it?

CONTRAD. P. Nothink to what it was forty years ago!

[_His neighbour, not feeling in a position to deny it, subsides._

The DRIVER (_to a Pa.s.sENGER WITH A BADGE, immediately behind him_). 'Ow is it you're orf yer keb to-day, Bob? Taking a day orf, or what?

The Pa.s.sENGER WITH A BADGE. Not much. Goin' up to Bow Street to gimmy evidence in a collision case--that's all.

DRIVER (_dubiously_). Bow Street! Ain't that rorther shovin' yer 'ed in the lion's mouth, eh?

The P. WITH A B. (_with virtuous serenity_). Not _it_! What ha' they got agen me all the time I bin licensed? Only three drunks and a loiter!

The CHATTY P. (_returning to the charge_). Orful state the roads are in with all this mud! I s'pose that's the London County Council, eh?

The CONTRAD. P. London Kayounty Kayouncil! No, it ain't--nothink o' the sort! I'll _tell_ yer 'oo it is, if yer want to know; it's Gladstone!

The CHATTY P. (_mildly surprised, but glad to have discovered common ground_). I see you're a Conservative--like myself.

The CONTRAD. P. That's jest where you're _wrong_! I ain't no Conservative, nor yet I don't want none o' Gladstone neither. I'm a Radikil, _I_ am. John Burns and Ben Tillett--that's _my_ lot!

The CHATTY P. (_reluctantly relinquis.h.i.+ng politics_). Ah, well, every man's got a right to form his own opinions, ain't he?

The CONTRAD. P. No, he _ain't_--not if he goes and forms _wrong_ 'uns!

(_A pause._) 'Ave yer got the time about yer?

The CHATTY P. (_accepting this as a sign of softening_). I'm sorry to say I come out without my watch this morning, or else----But there's plenty o' clocks about as'll tell yer.

The CONTRAD. P. (_with intense disdain_). Clocks! You don't ketch _me_ trusting no clocks--with no two of 'em alike!

The CHATTY P. (_as they pa.s.s a well-known watchmaker's_). Well, 'ow about that clock with the figgers? Won't _that_ do yer? They set it to Grinnidge time every hour, so it's bound to be right!

The CONTRAD. P. (_as descends_). There yer _are_! Think I'd put my faith in a clock as 'as to be set right every hour? 'Tain't _likely_! Good-day to yer!

The CHATTY P. So long! (_To himself._) A pleasant feller enough, I dessay, if you leave the subjec' to _'im_!

DRIVER (_to smart HANSOM CABMAN_). Now then, outer the way with that 'ere 'Ackney keb o' yours!

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