Part 10 (1/2)
”No harm done, Lazarus. When I was given that super-override instruction, I increased the overload tolerances on my problem-resolving network.”
”You're a smart girl. I'll try to avoid conflict in the future. Ira, you had better remove that super-override; it's not fair to Minerva. She feels like a woman with two husbands.”
”Minerva can handle it.” I a.s.sured him, more calmly than I felt.
”You mean that I I had better handle it. I shall. Did you tell Ishtar that I'm going househunting?” had better handle it. I shall. Did you tell Ishtar that I'm going househunting?”
”I didn't get that far. I was discussing with her the practicability of your living at the Palace.”
”Now, Ira-Palaces don't appeal to me, and being a house guest is still worse. A nuisance both to host and guest. Tomorrow I'll find a residential hilton that doesn't cater to tourists or conventions. Then I'll run out to the skyport and see Dora, and pat her rump and get her calmed down. The next day or so I'll find a little house way out in the suburbs, one automated enough to be no problem-but with its own garden. Got to have a garden. I'll have to bribe somebody to move; the house I want won't be standing empty. Do you happen to know how much I still have in Harriman Trust? If anything.”
”I don't know but that's no problem. Minerva, set up a drawing account for the Senior. Unlimited.”
”Acknowledged, Ira. Completed.”
”Completion noted. Lazarus, you would not be a nuisance. Nor will you find it palatial as long as you avoid the public rooms. As I always do. Nor will you be anyone's guest. It's called the 'Executive Palace,' but its official name is 'The Chairman's House.' You will be in residence in your own home. I I will be the guest, if anyone.” will be the guest, if anyone.”
”Hogwash, Ira.”
”True, Lazarus.”
”Quit juggling words. I would still be a stranger in a household not truly my own. A guest. I don't buy it.”
”Lazarus, you said-last night”-I remembered just in time the missing day-”that you can always do business with anyone who is acting in his own interest and says so.”
”I think I said 'usually' rather than 'always'-meaning that we could then look for a way that would serve both of our self-interests.”
”Then hear me out. You've got me tied down with this Scheherazade bet. As well as a research to find something new to interest you. Now you've dangled bait under my nose that makes me want to migrate as soon as-well, as soon as possible; it won't take long for the Trustees to turn me down concerning a migration of the Families. Grandfather, it's nuisance enough to chase over here every day; I don't hanker to trek way out into the boondocks, the commuting would waste what little time you have left me for work. Besides that, it's dangerous.”
”Living alone? Ira, I've lived alone many times.”
”Dangerous for me. a.s.sa.s.sins. I'm safe at the Palace; the rat who can find his way through that maze hasn't been born. I'm reasonably safe here inside the Clinic, and I can get back and forth in safety, subject only to whims of automatic machinery. But if I make a daily pattern of going to an unfortified house somewhere out in the suburbs, then it is only a matter of time until some crackpot sees it as an opportunity to save the world by picking me off. Oh, he would not live through it; my guards aren't that inefficient. But if I persist in setting myself up as a target, he might get me before they get him. No, Grandfather, I do not choose to be a.s.sa.s.sinated.”
The Senior looked thoughtful but not impressed. ”I could answer that your safety and convenience have to do with your your self-interest. Not mine.” self-interest. Not mine.”
”True,” I admitted. ”But let me offer what bait I can. It's in my self-interest for you to live in the Palace. There I can visit you in perfect safety, even safer than I am here, and commuting becomes a matter of seconds, negligible. I can even ask you-there-to excuse me for a half hour if something urgent comes up. That defines my my self-interest. As for yours, sir-would you be interested in a bachelor's cottage, rather small-four rooms-and not especially modem or luxurious but set in a pleasant garden? Three hectares, but only the part close to the house is gardened, the rest has been allowed to grow wild.” self-interest. As for yours, sir-would you be interested in a bachelor's cottage, rather small-four rooms-and not especially modem or luxurious but set in a pleasant garden? Three hectares, but only the part close to the house is gardened, the rest has been allowed to grow wild.”
”What's the catch, Ira? How modem is 'not especially'? I did say 'automated'-as I am not yet in shape to do for myself-nor am I patient with the vagaries of servants or the whimsical uncertainties of robots.”
”Oh, this cottage is sufficiently automated; it simply does not have a lot of fancy extravagances. No servants needed if your tastes are simple. Would you permit the Clinic to continue to stand watches on you if the watchstanders are as pleasant, and as pleasantly un.o.btrusive, as these two?”
”Eh? These kids are all right, I like them. I realize that the Clinic wants to keep an eye on me; they probably feel that I'm more of a challenge than a client only three or four hundred years old. That's okay. But you pa.s.s the word that I expect to smell perfume, not germicides. Or reasonably fresh body odors; I'm not fussy. I repeat, what's the catch?”
”The h.e.l.l you aren't fussy, Lazarus; you delight in thinking up impossible conditions. This cottage is rather cluttered with old-fas.h.i.+oned books; the last tenant was eccentric. Did I mention a little stream running through the grounds, one which opens out into a small pool near the house?-not much, but you can take a few strokes in it. Oh, I forgot to mention an old tomcat who thinks he owns the place. But you probably won't see him; he hates most people.”
”I won't bother him if he wants to be left alone; cats make good neighbors. You still haven't answered me.”
”The catch is this, Lazarus. I've been describing the penthouse I had built for my own use on the roof of the Palace, some ninety years back when I decided to keep this job awhile. It can be reached only by vertical transport from my usual quarters a couple of stories below it. I've never had time to use it much; you are welcome to it.” I stood up. ”But if you won't take it, then you can consider that I've lost the Scheherazade bet, and you are free to use that termination switch whenever you please. For I'm d.a.m.ned if I'll be a sitting duck for a.s.sa.s.sination just to cater to your whims.”
”Sit back down!'
”No, thank you. I've made a reasonable offer. If you won't take it, you can go to h.e.l.l in your own way. I won't let you ride my shoulders like the Old Man of the Sea. I can be pushed just so far.”
”So I see. How much of your ancestry am I?”
”About thirteen percent. Considerable convergence.”
”Only that much? I would have guessed more. Some ways you sound like my Gramp. Does my suicide switch go along?”
”If you want it,” I answered as indifferently as I could manage to sound. ”Or you can jump off the edge. It's a long drop.”
”I prefer the switch, Ira; I'd hate to change my mind on the way down. Will you fix me up with another transport so that I won't have to go through your apartment?”
”No.”
”Eh? Is it all that difficult? Let's ask Minerva.”
”It's not that I can't can't-I won't. won't. It's an unreasonable request. It won't hurt you to change transports in my foyer. Didn't I make it clear that I am not catering to any more unreasonable whims?” It's an unreasonable request. It won't hurt you to change transports in my foyer. Didn't I make it clear that I am not catering to any more unreasonable whims?”
”Get your feathers down, Son. I accept. Tomorrow, say. Never mind moving that clutter of books; I like old-fas.h.i.+oned bound books; they have more flavor than speedireads, or projectos, or such. And I'm pleased to find that you're a rat and not a mouse. Please sit down.”
I did so, pretending reluctance. I felt that I was beginning to gain some grasp of Lazarus. Despite the way he sneered at them the old scoundrel was an equalitarian at heart . . and expressed it by attempting to dominate anyone with whom he came into contact-but was contempuous of anyone who knuckled under to his bullying. So the only answer was to hit back at him, try to maintain a balance of power-and hope that in time it would reach the stability of mutual respect.
I never had cause to change my mind. He was capable of kindness and even affection toward one who accepted a subordinate role-if that person was a child or a female. But he preferred s.p.u.n.k even from them. A grown male who bent the knee he neither liked nor trusted.
I think this quirk in his character made him very lonely.
Presently the Senior said musingly, ”Be nice to live in a house for a while. With a garden. Maybe with a spot where I can stretch a hammock.”
”Several such spots.”
”But I'm doing you out of your hideaway.”
”Lazarus, there is enough room on that roof that I could have another cottage a.s.sembled out of your sight. If I wanted it. I don't. I haven't even been up there for a swim in weeks. It has been at least a year since I slept up there.”
”Well-I hope you'll feel free to come up and swim. Any time. Or whatever.”
”I expect to be up there every day and all day, for the next thousand days. Have you forgotten our bet?”
”Oh, that. Ira, you were b.i.t.c.hing that my whimsical ways were wasting your valuable time. Do you want to be let off the hook? Not on the other, just on that.”
I laughed at him. ”Straighten your kilt, Lazarus, your self-interest is showing. Meaning you want to be let off the hook. No deal. I intend to get one thousand and one days of your memoirs on record. After that you can jump off the edge, or drown yourself in the pool, or whatever. But I won't let you welch by pretending to do me a favor. I'm beginning to understand you.”
”You are? That's more than I've ever managed. When you get me figured out, tell me about me; I'll be interested. That search for something new, Ira-You said you had started it.”
”I didn't say that, Lazarus.”
”Well, perhaps you just implied it.”
”Nor even that. Want to bet? We can ask Minerva for a full printout, then I'll accept your verdict.”