Part 39 (2/2)
”Even-numbered day!”
”Then make it march.”
”Correction,” said Lazarus. ”I'm your father because I adopted you, with written consent of your mothers.”
”Irrelevant-”
”-and illegal; it was not with our our consent-” consent-”
”-and immaterial in any case, as we three, Lazarus, Lorelei and I, are identical triplets and therefore enjoy the same rights under any rational jurisdiction . . which unfortunately this is not. So he beats us. Illegally and brutally.”
”Captain, remind me to get a bigger club.”
”Aye aye, sir. But we're fond of Buddy Boy anyhow, despite his masochos.a.d.i.s.tic behavior. Because he's really us. You see?”
”Miss-Captain, I mean-I'm not sure I do. I think I slid through a s.p.a.ce warp on the way here and failed to come out.”
The even-numbered-day captain shook her head. ”Sorry, sir, but that's not possible. I must ask you to take my word for it . . unless you can handle imperial numbers and Libby field-physics. Can you?”
”No. Can you?”
”Oh, certainly-”
”-we're geniuses.”
”Quit trying to snow him, kids, and belay that order. I'll explain it myself.”
”I wish you would, Lazarus. I wasn't aware that you had any minor children. Or sisters, which I find even more confusing. Are they registered? While I can't see everything that goes into the files, for many years there has been an automatic relay to my attention on anything concerning the Senior.”
”Which I knew and that's why you didn't see it. Registered, yes, but by their mothers' names-host-mothers, actually, but not so reported. But I left a Delay-Mail sealed registration of the actual genealogy involved, to be opened by you or your successor on my death or in year 2070 of the Diaspora, whichever comes first, to insure that they will receive certain knickknacks, such as my second-best bed-”
”And the 'Dora'!”
”Pipe down. Keep b.u.t.ting in and your sister gets the 'Dora' and you won't be captain even on alternate days. I picked that date, Justin, because I expect them to be adults by then; they really are geniuses. I will not attempt time travel until then, as they are captain and crew of my yacht-only while groundside now but in s.p.a.ce by then. As to how they are my sisters-and they are-an illegal-proscribed, rather, by Secundus Clinic-a clandestine surgical procedure was used to clone them from me. Somewhat like Minerva's case, but simpler.”
”Much simpler,” agreed Minerva. ”I operated for me, when I was still a computer-and failed seventeen times before I achieved a perfect clone. I couldn't do it now, although Athene would be able to. But our girls were cloned by a flesh-and-blood surgeon-replication of the X chromosome was all that was necessary-and did it in both cases in one try; Laz and Lor were born the same day.”
”Mmm-Yes, I think that Madam Director Doctor Hildegarde would take a sour view of such things. With no reflections on the lady's professional competence-high, I a.s.sume -I find her a bit, uh, conservative.”
”Murderess.”
”Primitive totalitarian.”
”Three times over-”
”-for what right has she she to say that to say that we we can't exist-” can't exist-”
”-or Minerva. Crypto-criminal mind!”
”That's enough, girls; you've made your point, you don't like her.”
”She would have murdered you, too, Ol' Buddy Boy.”
”Lori, I said that was enough. Stipulated that, if Nelly Hildegarde's policies had been carried out, I wouldn't be here, you wouldn't be here, Laz wouldn't be here, nor would Minerva. But she's not a 'murderess,' as all four of us are are here.” here.”
”And I am delighted,” Justin Foote commented. ”To have three charming young ladies added to our Families through breaking rules proves something I have long suspected: Rules serve best when broken.”
”A wise man-”
”-and with dimples, too. Mr. Foote, would you like to marry me and my sister?”
”Say 'Yes'! She can cook, but I'm cuddly.”
Minerva said, ”Stop it, girls.”
”Why? Have you got him staked out already? Was that why we couldn't come in? Mr. Foote, Minerva is Mama Pro Tern to us by edict-”
”-which is patently unfair-”
”-as she is actually years and years younger than we are-”
”-and it gives us three mothers to dodge instead of the regulation one.”
”Belay that,” Lazarus ordered. ”Both of you can cook, but neither of you is very cuddly.”
”Then why do you cuddle us, Buddy Boy?”
”-suppressed incestuous yearning perhaps?”
”Merde. Because you both are immature, insecure, and frightened.”
The redheads looked at each other. ”Lori?”
”I heard it. Unless I'm hallucinating.”
”No, I heard it, too.”
”Is it time to cry?”
”We'd better save it. Mr. Foote wouldn't want to see how our Buddy Boy goes all to pieces when we cry.”
”We'll save it. That makes two cries and a chin quivering he's got coming. Unless Mr. Foote would like to see it.”
”Would you, Mr. Foote?”
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